Cut Copy

A copywriter’s incomplete catalog of the lines that never went live.

Anonymized for posterity.

You've worn your club's kit for the last two weeks. Even the dog won't come near you now. All for cricket.
You hated our billboards about you, we know.
We’re ██████. And we’re offering premium plugins with monthly payments through ██████ ███████████. (And there’s no catch.)
█████ is a wavetable synth with the sounds of tomorrow. Get it today, pay someday. Available on ██████ ███████████.
Keep refrigerated. (Best when cool. Like a rapping penguin.)
Waste your lunch hour!
Save (for) the day.
Instead, we'll hint at a widespread theory that ███'s identity work contains hidden glyphs. Some say they're ciphers designed to subliminally control the masses. "███ ████████ IS DESIGN-KING ETERNAL," one supposedly commands. "BOW BEFORE HIS PEN TOOL."
Invent a perpetually spinning dreidel
Short and tweet!
We’re never boring. Every sentence should be informative, interesting, or delightful. Even better: all three.
Get it, together.
What's the difference between public and private? Your relationship. [ Send a Direct Message ]
The TGIAF Special (The Thank-God-It's-Almost-Friday Special)
████ will deepen your respect for sparkles.
Tastes like Mama's cooking, only not your Mama's.
What matters is your passion for 80s power ballads and your need to share them with strangers.
████ waters the body, school waters the brain.
Get Ripped in 90 seconds. \<! — Hahahahaha NO --\>
Better make it more chirpy, like an undersexed cicada.
Making an update in ████████ is like tipping over the first domino.
Fits car cup holders, bike cages, and (human) hands
Fugu for the cost of fried fish.
Hold on. Facing the bass.
Great Caesar’s Ghost
High-minded.
Ping pong is kind of a big deal here. Don't hate until you can obliterate.
Almost lyrical when you're drunk.
Im(PRESS)ed.
Monday comes silent in the night like death and changes you forever.
Go Yeast, Young Man
Do you keep ██████ a secret?
████ bottle Use Case 266 - Cyanide capsule for giant robot spy.
Have great effect(s).
You aren’t the Human Menu. You have a name. Also, download the app.
You don't throw them out, you send them in.
HR and IT, kissing in a tree
How long do you bake a hand turkey?
Send your cat the cattiest cat memes. [ Get ███████ ]
The anti-cubicle company.
██████ read. Sweats blue.
very quiet friend.
Creative playtime with guidance.
[Painting of The Last Supper.] Make sure the whole squad can sit with you.
The best things in life are freeing.
Remember the sign?
Magic Collage Mug (11oz): Fit up to fifteen photos on this magical mug, fill it with Dad's coffee, and watch the photos appear! (Almost like a surprise visit from the kids.) $17.99.
God wears a lab coat.
Hold the phone.
Otra bebida para usted.
How to anger your spouse: 1. Leave it there for two weeks.
Where you can be you.
Pirated plugins were okay when you were young, before you knew things.
Watch your six (Keep at least 6 feet from others)
A great evening is on the table.
Oracle at ███████
Compress that clap. And don’t forget to call your mother.
Southwestern Wire makes the strongest fencing in the world. It could keep a tiger from coming inside or even an elephant. Can I have more ice cream?
Eat, drink, and be informed.
Your phone wasn't designed for phone calls. Stop pretending.
Your singing voice will improve with beer goggles.
Clean your plates. We'll do the dishes.
Evil, layered distortion. Evil-lair distortion.
This is your restaurant reservation.
Your new notebook has so much whiz-bang per square inch, you won't even need friends IRL. (Almost true!) General everyday existence is only moments away from being much zippier and more prettified.
2AM bike ride through downtown Dubai? Count ███ in. Beach bonfire party at Montañita in Ecuador? Bring ███. Up late coding a game with fellow command-line luminaries? ███ can keep up.
Data for moms and dads.
Don’t play around.
Our brand bible. The first place we turn for guidance on ███████'s brand strategy, voice and visual style. Intended for internal use only, so don't be sharing this with your mom.
When she discovered her boss was cooking salmon a la plancha, she decided to tell her husband that she'd be "working late."
Musical wonder devices.
Direct Messages no longer have a 140-character limit. We're sorry and you're welcome.
No sheep for the wicked.
Sometimes your path isn't defined. Sometimes you face rocky roads slippery slopes scorching heat creeks that only go up. But if the shoe fits If nature is in its nature You'll be ready to test any trail.
Go on a craft-beer pub crawl, then crawl home.
This job is killing you.
J - ██████ trumpets live music that's close to your heart and close to your home.
Take a Mission food and art tour, artfully.
I don't know what this world is coming to.
Power-ups are better with empowering discussions.
If you need this coil, you already know it.
Living dangerously is overrated.
We fished on a commercial boat with Captain Bob, then took our winnings to a sushi competition. It was my first time preparing sushi, but I came in 3rd. My maki is tight.
Hold on. Starting a dance craze.
Where fans fantasize.
Brightens - Illume, Shine, Shiny, Afterglow
Breaking down the bones, muscle, and connective tissue of our favorite joints.
Reset the table.
SAAG STORY
A custom experience, left to your devices. Customize your devices.
The only good way to save internet money.
People can't eat mini-franks and orange cheese forever.
A █████ out of context can be disorienting, like discovering an ice cream cone in space. This guide covers best practices for showing ██████ outside of ███████.
San Francisco is a city born from the dreams of gold rushers, forged by idealistic immigrants, and continuously reinvented by artists and engineers.
Our ████ █████™ system bumps up the bargains. The higher the ████ █████, the better the deal. The money you save can pay for overpriced drinks instead.
Reach your goals. brasileirao
That’s because we select our ingredients for their psyche-shifting potency. Even the limes, truth be told.
Be salty. Be sweet.
Meez
Home Office Hero
All for one, and one for one.
Plug in your social networks and ██████ will instantaneously learn your likes. Each live music selection is made just for you, like a mixtape from a stalker.
Do you grease your bicycle chain with olive oil? You could win a █████████ gift card and ████ bars (not recommended for bike maintenance).
Spend some commas
Let this laptop forever serve as proof that pleading can prevail.
You'll make a great to toast to toast. (35) ____ tables
Search, sample, drag and drop. Get sounds as fast as you imagine them. Make more music.
~~Musical metamorphosis.~~
Playlust
Everything you love about cricket, from arm balls to zooters.
For true loves and others.
[Photo of the top of a man's head (bird's eye view). His male pattern baldness forms the █████████ logo.] Like your ex husband, we only take 40 seconds. Unlike him, we’re reliable.
Body: Sure you could study, but knowledge is whatever. Beg instead, you'll come out much better. (Win a laptop, $10k, or nothing at all!)
What's the best holiday food? (Egg nog counts as a food, because you sometimes have to chew it. Fruit cake doesn't.)
Search through every word in your library quickly and easily. Say goodbye to indexes and endless page-flipping.
You’re an adult, you can do anything Put your elbows on the table Chew with your mouth open (Please, don’t.) Even know where to eat. Like you’re grown.
(Ate all the fruit cake)
Monaco’s national orchestra is bigger that its army.
Candy Paint & My Six-Four
You are somewhere in here.
Many of our designs are inspired my transformative meals. Most of those meals are pizza.
Draws blood for money. Uses up the red crayon first.
It takes all minds
██████ would never ever wear sunglasses at night, but he's not the kind of fish to judge others for doing so. He would never cast aquarium stones at the Goldfish Crackers mascots for trying to supplement their cool.
(It's the mimosas that are bottomless, not the people. Please wear pants.)
Get things done instead of doing done things.
After you espresso yourself, pick up some sandwiches and beer at this simple market. Head to the beach if it's warm enough, but don't get any sand in your sandwiches.
Review the regretful. Harsh judgment benefits all.
Spoon Farm
sunflower-seed shell vessel
All ingredients hand-selected by culinary specialists. If your food isn't delicious, get your tongue examined.
A skull-shaking thump, bump, and boom generator.
Don’t wait for an eternity. Don't kill the evening.
We're anti-busy-work workers.
The tea leaves say that 14 members of your crew don't have anything better lined up.
Your mission: drink more
Access: granted.
It’s official. Artists are loving your samples on ██████.
The last time I was able to finish bibimbap in one sitting, I was high.
████ is a bottle for snowboarders, for thinkers and doers, for futurists, art architects, cubical cubists, and anyone else who knows the basic mechanics of drinking.
Your mind is a bottle. Fill it up. Just don't let zombies take a sip.
BYOB - Build Your Own Brunch
Congrats to the artists who earned Grammy nominations. May your drive never distort.
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 212 - Utility-belt oil can for Robocop.
Don’t just have a nice trip.
(We’re surprised, too.)
It works from home.
Being able to tour the world and play shows in strangers’ living rooms, while meeting all kinds of people into all kinds of music.
█████ your trick plays at them
[ Take a swing ]
Baseball's Real Diamond
School's about to start, and it's time to hit the books again. (Don't hit them too hard, you could bruise your knuckles.)
Wait by the phone.
Take credit for every yard gained
The shapeshifting synth
Out of sick days.
█████ will make it easier for parents, caregivers, and child-care professionals to monitor the important details associated with a child's everyday care, so that multiple people can be on the same page, even when they're not on the same schedule.
Hold on. Readying reverb.
Papa’s Passions: Our simple, elegant themes add distinction to Dad’s diversion, whether it’s working in the garden, detailing classic trucks, or marathon napping.
Rare studio candy.
It's the end of the world as we know it, and you feel sick.
We work well together, because we play well together. (When you love what you do, they're almost the same.)
We’d bet our spots that these are the most fast-acting, flavorful and consistently potent gummies on the planet.
But not the Oxford comma.
Where athletes sweat.
Rareified air.
Doughvinci
Suzy went through a divorce. HR went through a bunch of forms.
Everybody needs space. Use ours.
Now you're fine to dine.
Grilled to perfection. Which is normally subjective, except in this case.
Hold on. Automating automation.
████████'s █████████ automatically ranks deals from best to blech.
Our objective was to communicate some very dry content in a way that didn't send observers into a catatonic state. We had a blast doing it.
Warning: ICE is COLD. FIRE is HOT.
Lobster tails for the cost of lobster fingers.
A trace tartness at its tail keeps this malt-forward beer from becoming unholy. We aren’t pious, but we are perfectionists.
Make operations purr.
Image 6: Ping pong is our poison.
Don't be a tourist. Be yourself.
Over 1100 samples for kick starters
Upload your money to the internet and watch it compound in real time.
Top overlay bar; "Get the table... bottom overlay bar.** even if you didn't get the invite."
Keep your eyes peeled for a daring San Francisco host riding her scooter while sporting a Union Jack helmet.
Nice pad(s).
How do you like your GIF? Creamy or crunchy?
Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Three Kings Day, St. Lucia Day, Ramadan, Winter Solstice, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve. More than enough reasons to drink.
It's now or never.
Back in ██████████ business
Get your fill. Get your filling.
3 Months of free love
Run your company without knowing all the tricks.
Make a difference. By a mile.
[general] **You can't put a price on happiness. But it's worth a try.
Brought to you by █████████ and the Coalition of Respectful Eaters.
They Go, I Flow
Prophesy Permits
[Pic of Ryan Gosling holding a birthday cake that says, “Ray, girl.”]
Hot Buttered Horns’ secret weapon is named Ben
No wool over these eyes.
Where news breaks.
Shove thy neighbor.
D - ██████ is loud about live music that's close to your heart and close to your home.
Trails are full of lush traps, craggy pitfalls, heart-stopping ascents, and overwhelming beauty. You need to be nimble, resilient, and a little insane. It helps to have shoes that match that energy.
If you spoke to your children the same way you speak to a cop who just pulled you over, or vice versa, life would be harder. That’s why it’s important for us to tailor the company’s tone to the situation.
██████ ███████████: get premium plugins. Free trial, small monthly payments, pause anytime. (We just want you to be happy.)
Home: made.
Fab follow (colloquial but short)
Technically, you earned that Grammy nomination right here.
It’s payday. Don’t crack.
bass (picture of a fish) bass (picture of a subwoofer or bass guitar — subwoofer is funnier)
World Water Cooler
No more whales!
Do something amazing with your money.
JavaScript, Backbone.js, and some real spine help us get things done.
On-brand Contraband
All the news that's fit to █████. [ Explore News ]
Imagine IRL.
To see the real San Francisco, don’t just go there. Belong there.
Add ███████ to your lineup. Text REDS to 40404 for a perfect game.
Respect every table you reserve. If your plans change, be kind and cancel.
It was, after all, like nothing that had come before it. To this day, it looks and feels different from everything else in marijuana culture. If you didn't know what it was, you could look at it and assume it's a MacBook peripheral. Or a Japanese pet.
Your fade and your fadeaway.
We book two tables every second. Got a minute?
Includes pie and prosecco, obviously.
martini glass (bird's-eye view)
Want to experience Inbox Zero? It's simple. Open a new email account. Don't tell anyone the address.
Eyeballs to the walls. (okay okay: no)
75\% of the cost for 100\% of the love.
Use the force (of ███████).
There is no right answer, unless you are Chef. In which case, whatever you say is correct.
[general] A t-shirt, but the arms and shoulders are shrugging **You got paid and all we got was this rendered t-shirt.
Happy miracle candelabrum.
~~Stone age.~~ (No.)
Always ahead. (stoners will read this as "always a head")
"████████ is boring."
Go to the Oscars in your pajamas.
Work-data automation. We argued about the hyphen.
█████: Be in Greenland and Green Bay at the same time.
Your HR lead should set up your company’s ████████. If not the HR lead, then the person at your company with the most access to employee census data like addresses, salaries, departments and such. If that’s you, hi.
Hey, Bae. It’s Payday.
Break the food chain.
No need to build your flanger from the floor up.
(But free ███████ ██████████ will.)
If You Can’t Be One of the Bitcoin Billionaires Write Ads for Them Instead
Create sushi rolls with a former sushi chef from Shoguns, and roll with the evening.
Play beyond your means.
Closed today (and probably tomorrow)
I'm leaving this conversation because I'm still afraid of bunnies.
A more capable canvas.
Ready yourself for emotive elementals straight from the good people at ██████ █████. Dark drums and "you're a player" pianos, soulful synths, crybaby chords, vivid vocals, washed-out bass lines and distorted atmospheres.
It’s payday. No yolk.
A real plant's planter.
Futebol is life. @Flamengo is love. Follow the action on ███████.
Eat to remember, drink to forget.
More air than Jordan. More tricks than the Globetrotters.
fight for the right to party
Shoot and share video on ███████. Enjoy a larger audience than George Lucas.
Don't Be like Bob & Mimi
Never sell the dream – We know no tool can make great music for you, so we never call things “essential” or “must-have.” And we never pitch promises of fame or hit records.
This ad can never work as well as the software does.
Tastes-super superfoods.
It's a flight-or-flight response.
I'm still bald.
"Book anything but this space."
Vocals, drums, leads, and fx that subvert time and stretch space.
Your mom has heard of it!
Find out how to build a log cabin rustic studio here.
Farewell, Chaz. You're a Maverick. (Don't Goose.)
It's okay to stare.
Or you can stay with Elena, the lead engineer on the decade-long Bay Bridge rebuild. She'll show you around her neighborhood and take you to the best place for soup dumplings. (It's not in a guidebook.)
Download the app. Have the okra.
Hobbies & Recreation: What's your papa's passion? Our simple, elegant themes add distinction to Dad's diversion, whether it's working in the garden, detailing his classic truck, or marathon napping.
Sometimes bad jobs are good.
Every ticket out there, in here.
Dine like it's your job. And your holiday.
We finally see a restaurant reviewer sitting at a table in the corner, watching all of this with disdain. He writes something in a notebook. CLOSE ON NOTEBOOK - SMH
You'll get a table for 2 with an incredible view. (We don’t mean the window.)
Work magic.
Have reservations for a magnificent meal, not about it.
Defiant Definers
Good music is food. Good food is music.
We call it the "workplace automation platform". Also "████████".
Share authentic Argentine cuisine and try not to tango.
We don't do cubicles. We all sit together. It makes spitballing and shooting spitballs much easier.
Where villains vent.
Not enough space to explain.
Hang out with celebs. Pretend you don't care. [ Join in ]
Let's imagine that with enough water pressure, you could fly.
Hold on. Treble is still trembling.
Merry Put This Card On Your Mantel If You Even Have One In Your Apartment and Pretend You're Not An Atheist When the Parents Visit season.
Definitely. This one went by Robert.
The Snap Monger
Take your true self out for ramen
Carb-loading is the best part of running.
Tech Tip** Don't go swimming with your HDTV. Ruins your picture.
Turn up?
This is a generic banner ad because we don't track your behavior like other companies. [ Get ███████ ]
Hike the Edge of the World
Bam Bam Permits
The ‘70s with New Drugs
We only want to sit next to windows we don’t own: on airplanes and at the office.
They're electrolytes, Karen.
Somebody needs your advice.
Get a cooler water cooler
fashionable: With its iconic design, ████ is like a gumball machine filled with eye-candy.
Nature is a mother.
Slide into her 10,000 characters. [ Send a Direct Message ]
████████ Marketing wants us to say that ████████ is “amazing”. We prefer “useful.”
Remember, ██████ project syncing is (and will always be) fast, reliable, and free. No need to wear two seatbelts.
Say NO to lines.
Free hugs? Naw. Free posters.
5x7 Soft Photo Cover** Is your father going soft in his old age? Match his demeanor with this book featuring a customizable cover. _starting at $12.99
You’re in for an evening of excellent food, engrossing conversation, and strangely fulfilling dog-petting.
Enjoy today. Pay tomorrow.
My cup runneth over and over.
Next, walk to Whitechapel, a bar with nationwide buzz. It boasts over 400 varieties of gin, historic cocktails, and a steampunky setting. It's basically an abandoned London Underground station from the 19th century, but with better booze.
The system of record that breaks records.
~~Silicon and sound.~~
Be the toast of our town.
Design 3D-printed snowflakes that are computationally unique
Every sound you'll ever need. Some sounds you'll never need.
Between spots, you’ll walk and talk through the meat sweats.
Home infusion tools for the budding bartender.
Go on a stumbling tour of the Castro’s best bars.
███████ is your always-updating, one-stop home for the best ██████ about football, curling, and everything in between.
But they don't see the San Francisco that we do. They don't get to eat the things we eat, or meet our friends, or spend their weekends the way we do. They don't see our city, they see the postcard of it.
Keep track of your baby's foods, moods, naps, and diapers. Know a lot about your tot.
The Airbrake MX goggle's design provides superior roll-off and unrivaled clarity under the most intense conditions. Even these.
Your favorite player is a bit of a player.
More importantly, experience it all from the back of a tractor, and with a wine glass in hand. After that, if you’re not too wobbly, you’ll visit a second winery, where you can toss back some more tasty wine.
We use words like "provisioning" and "onboarding".
Designed to do hard things easily.
Maybe it's time to talk to your fingers about the considerate way to cancel.
Wish good things came in all packages?
We automate busy work, not human work.
████████ is the drill
On-brand Contrabrand
The babysetter.
Help us build our birdhouse.
It was two hours after you got home from that thankless job you called a living. You were on the lopsided couch, making a lopsided bass line out of a slowed down sample of your refrigerator buzzing. Re-lo texted
This ain't our first whoa-deo.
Live on the edge of your seat.
Needz moar cats.
Turn up the temp when you want a heavier experience, or slide it down for a softer landing. Have settings for you. Have settings for the whole crew.
Holds water
Or maybe a whole pie of perfection, if you know what's bad for you. Try the Whiskey Peach or the Salted Honey or really anything, because PIE.
Plate Bloomer
High and mighty.
Anything from a crystal brandy snifter for an Illuminati meeting to a ladle for a chili cook-off.
Happy birthday, ███████! We're totally getting better with age.
Keep away from children and overly friendly ghosts.
No need to sign out of ███████, unless you share a computer. If you stay signed in, you can go to ███████.com and immediately start exploring, without interruption.
Walkin’ in the sand.
A whole new ball game.
No reservations about you.
Mother Nature wishes you’d relax.
The original’s vacuum-tube preamp gave it an unmistakable character, and this one could fool its mother.
The mounted museum.
Life TV.
Resizable rooms, distorted booms, morphing glooms.
MAMA FRIED
From a shower of metal filings the ████ Bottle was born, a modular drinking vessel designed to open up easily for cleaning. You'll like it so much you'll probably try the same thing with the dog. (Don't. You'll make a mess.)
HELLO, NANCY
Engagement party.
If you want a good meal, make sure you planet.
Lorem ipsumthin else
Small Wonderful
You’ll soon be taking naps and napkins in equal measure.
table saw with people eating tapas
Fall in love with ███████ again and again. Try █████████.
Is Dad a grill maestro? Protect him from barbecue sauce and other peppery perils of his passion. Find a fitting photo and make him a unique Photo Apron that will get him grinning.
How do you spell bliss? C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E.
████ comes equipped with Clean Seam Technology, an extraordinary sealing system that makes water taste wetter and life more superb.
Syncs with the sun. Just add water.
Your sustained interest.
We can also work with aggressive deadlines so that your deal isn't delayed, even if you are.
We tip our hats to our friends in the service industry. Our Friday is their Monday.
Your next date will be <spicy>. The food, too.
As worldwide as the world wide web.
Your mission: the Mission after dark.
Keep away from children and people who play saxophone.
Test Tube ███████
Pretend you have your life together.
“Down here, it’s our timeline. It’s our timeline down here.”
Some foods have reason to fear you. Embrace it.
Audio on ███████. █████ up the volume.
Happy 25th birthday, Pixar! We drew you a cake, but our cartoon dog ate it.
Build your team, curate your career.
EQ the lower tones until you feel them in your femurs.
Be wined and dined properly.
stash box, brah.
9 out of 10 experts agree: █████ is the hardest soft synth around.
Produce strong passwords for employees. From thin air.
Be a bike messager.
Get a second opinion, or a third, or a fourth.
Devoted to the lips of: {Your Name}
We’ve discovered that the discoveries themselves drive us.
Cartoons can't explain us.
You change the way you say “donut” because Cindy smirked. ████████ changes everything else.
Manage Every Employee System, In One Place Employees all over the world? You'll manage.
Now you know someone there.
Hold on. Assessing beefs.
You hated our billboards about you, we know. Our words were not empty, like yours: for show. We just think some companies need services that scale. (Some people like meat and potatoes, some kale.)
Don't be a tourist. Get to know the city through it's people, not its photo ops.
Sheep with strangers.
(Your hosts submitted their passports, too. We checked. They’re cool.)
Versatile voice-modeled effects. Not just for voices.
Show chauffeur.
Tastes like it’s straight from Mother Nature’s fridge.
Tree’s Company
Get special treatment
Five high-quality effects. (Priced for people with commitment issues.)
Ordering computers used to be fun. ████████ is Provisioning.
When we set out on a trail, we're not just testing it. We're testing our shoes, our gear, and ourselves.
Select a mode to suit your mood.
Misfortune favors the bold.
Greece-y food.
Nature’s just-in-case.
Automate payroll, HR, IT, and Ops. Unless you can’t be bothered to not be bothered
(it's a Monday) and 23:59 (AEST) on 1 July 2016 (TGIF). Don't cut it too close. Your watch may not be synchronized with ours.
Clips of the first Votan Human Olympic events, in which the Votans decimate the humans in almost every event. When one judge gives a Votan a low score, he doesn't make it out of the arena alive.
Comes in Waves
C.E.O.: Raise awareness about ██████ “It can’t suck.”
See how the popularity of sushi has impacted marine life, and how you can order and make sushi more responsibly, even if you’re drinking saké irresponsibly. Most importantly, fill up on fish.
But not meetings. Yet.
Make exploration easier, both indoors and out.
Always bleat on black.
Incredible food, champagne, white wine, coffee, and orange juice will be provided, but you’ll have to bring your own appetite.
Get the vapors.
Want to tap that? Tap this.
[ @beachbunny405 - The round type. ]
Put a filter on it, cutoff LFO’d slower than monks meditating on cough syrup.
Just be careful. If you stop in for a coffee, you may walk out with a pizza. Story of our lives.
Let experience be your guide.
SUBHEAD: Talk amongst your friends.
The high road to lo-fi.
That kiddie pool in the yard would look great in the living room.
The Donut’s Donut
Professional painter of nightmares. Taught Dracula to draw blood.
Browse collections curated by prominent artists, publishers, libraries, and museums, and keep anything that holds your gaze.
Multi-day trips to anywhere, guided by people who live there.
Plenty of Punch
Real-time peer support for psychedelic experiences. Call or text (unless you're outside your body).
CLEANable: Dishwasher friendly and easy to clean, ████ is a bathing beauty.
█████’s for every biz, large, small, or mid?
Chef tosses some butter back in the fridge, right next to a milk carton bearing Bob & Mimi's name and photo.
Always share snacks, unless they're gross.
Stop doing that busy work. Keep doing that human work.
Thank you for making ██████ sound even better.
Your company's security shouldn't rely on luck.
Workhorse synth. Works-anywhere sound.
Dream fantastically. Operate realistically.
Save your marriage. Save your money. Save room for dessert.
Bakes your favorite
Wild-mushroom risotto for the cost of white buttons.
"███ 3 enables you to enjoy top-shelf dad concentrates, too."
Fragrant Force Field
~~CRY OUT! You're holding ████, the first fizzy water that's entirely upcycled from real fruit.~~
Pierre Schaeffer
Pivotal Moments - Paul Klink: Opportunity Sprouts
██████████████ is the photo-focused restaurant review app that helps you find things to put in your mouth. Go to food heaven, not horny jail.
Fact: there was a 13th apostle named Mel, but he didn’t get reservations to the Last Supper, so they sat him at the bar.
Two men and two women sit in a steaming hot tub with two snow monkeys. Everybody has their eyes closed, in utter bliss.
100-Track Mind
Love that work. Work that love.
Harsh no fellow's mellow.
The first time you fly will feel like second nature.
OK. Let's get started.
With Direct Messages on ███████, you can share private messages with your people in real time, whether they're friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances, or typing cats.
Listen to your gut, but also your team.
Share too much.
██████ ██████: every sound you can imagine, and many you shouldn’t (like cheetah_laser.wav). 2 months free. Cancel anytime.
The better to DM you with, my dear.
███ ████████ designs this and ███ ████████ designs that. If you need ███'s designs, you can get them, stat.
Headcount shouldn’t count against you.
Get back to posting photos of your cat in 90 seconds.
Get more sounds, rediscover old ones.
Don't go viral.
Good food is our common tongue. No matter where we're from or what we believe, it's how we mark the important moments in life with other people. At █████████, we're proud to play a small part in bringing people together. After all, it’s what we bring to the table. (Please pass the salt.)
Latte Mug (17oz): Dad doesn't have to be the café type to appreciate this huge mug covered in photos of his children. So big, the mug looks normal in his hands. $19.99.
Don’t lick your screen.
V Collection 7 is here. Get some keys you can’t lose. [ Try V Collection ]
Though this is our middle weight, it's quite the Goldilocks: just right for most needs. With a minimum breaking point of 180,000 PSI, it can handle most anything a trellis wire faces in regular situations, storybook or otherwise.
We’d bet some major muscle groups that these are the most flavorful and consistently potent gummies on the planet.
These are a few of our favorite things.
████████ is hard to describe on a billboard. We can use more words on our website. You should go there.
you'll be inducted into Tommy's Tequila Club in an informal ceremony that will probably involve drinking more tequila.
Don’t forget to celebrate with the internet.
The cat gets it.
ASIA MINER
Our competition thinks your work is cute.
No one found a cure for the common cold, so we added some incentives, including delicious snacks and █████████ gift cards.
BAD GRAPHICS AND TEXT OVER FROZEN IMAGE WITH SYNTH SOUNDS Be kind. Cancel.
People will want to drink (and eat) indoors, too.
The customer is almost always right.
Make it from downtown, uptown, or any town. MarchMadness
Now you have a drinking solution.
Wondagurl hones her skills by using weird sounds from ██████ she'd normally ignore. (We'd think it's working.)
Now that your vision is vexed, listen to the track again without looking at the arrangement. Sound right? Okay. Kiss Mama on the cheek and take her recycling out.
Study the subtle art of the spring roll with some experts.
Find people just like you, even if nobody's like you. [ Get ███████ ]
You can't always get what you want. This is one of those times. Try distracting yourself from overwhelming failure by visiting [ your timeline ], reading [ trending topics ], or checking out some [ robots tweeting ].
The waiter brought us an amuse bouche: two fried candy bars smothered in cheddar.
Follow @StarWars to go behind the scenes at Comic-Con San Diego and see the light side of the dark side.
That might sound like corporatespeak, but the results are quite clear: we set you up with reliable tenants and great rents.
Don’t have “a nice trip”.
To be honest, we do a bit of everything.
Sure, the food will be fancy, but not so fancy that you can’t enjoy yourself.
Shoot, edit and share video on ███████. Become an instant auteur.
Now we look like we work.
Super smart smart planter for plants.
Raindrops aren't tear-shaped, but are actually shaped more like hamburger buns. So then why doesn't rain taste like cheeseburgers?
Refer to your new cheese spot as a "mozzarella bar" and smile warmly as people scoff.
Go beyond your friends and family. Eat lunch with an astronaut, attend practice with an MVP, go backstage with an icon. Hang out with anybody.
Tasty meals, tastier prices.
Proper table setting is essential.
Watch the Finals with friends, whether from the box seats or the Balkans.
Hustles and Flows
They’re not into cannabis culture, they’re into cannabis and culture.
Let's-get-happy holidays.
I feel undead inside.
We bet this flow chart was made during a meeting.
A wise person drinks more water than a dumb fish.
Thought for food.
Kinder Gardener
Like you, they are made to be remade.
Keep up with the Voice on ███████. Make sure yours is heard.
Everyone's a (food) critic.
Process it with a snappy delay, shorter than the time between saying something rude to your mama and getting slapped.
Don't have reservations about your dates. Have reservations for them.
████████ is a circulatory system without the blood
(petting a tablecloth softly)
TV, dinner. [ Join in ]
Not “healthy” hard seltzer, but “healthier” hard seltzer.
Book any kind of dining experience with the █████████ app, as long as it's the good kind. Quickly find the right restaurant for a business breakfast, a romantic dinner, or anything in between.
taught Justin Beiber how to post better selfies on ███████
██████ ███████████: premium plugins right now, with payments at a comfortable pace. Pause anytime. We don’t get weird.
Peanut butter and jelly. Fried chicken and waffles. ████████ and ████. Only one of these combos is the first way to automate corporate card issuance, but the others are delicious.
███████ shelters strays during brainstorms.
We see Chef looking in alleys, peeking into storm drains, and finally rolling by in a cab, hanging out the window, calling out, Bob? Mimi?
We want you for our holiday hackathon. Need a reason? Here are two: Christmas carols are crowdsourced, and Frosty the Snowman was a collaborative effort.
"Be sincere; be brief; be seated." -Franklin D. Roosevelt.
████████'s IT Factor
No need to boil the ocean. Automate your HR & IT.
Be a ballerina.
Birds of a different feather flock here.
Do hands seem absurd to you? We understand. Call 1-833-2████████ to talk to people who have hands-on experience with psychedelics.
[3d printers, robot armed auto-lathes, laser facecutters, hydromech water drills, cast-iron microchip plates, holographic kilns, and a full hoverboard halfpipe.]
Our owners drink for free.
~~CALL MOM! You're holding ████, the first fizzy water that's entirely upcycled from real fruit.~~
Serious software.
Give them the green light.
Classic analog flanger. New feeling inside you.
eco-friendly purple-lean double cup.
Get centered on the edge of the city, with the ocean breeze kissing your cheeks.
Bendy straws are creepy because they have elbows.
Past generations had to leave their studios in search of the perfect sample. Not you.
Have a hat for any occasion. (117,770 different occasions and counting.) Better building blocks for building better beats.
[From your mom] No swimming for an hour after meals!
"█████ the vote."
Stores small for epic journeys.
Keep away from children and golden-haired antagonists.
██████████████ is the new restaurant review app that gives you the best POV of the restaurants around you. Sometimes it’s salty.
Recover your originals.
Sorta Soothing
A single minute-long video was too long, but a few 20-second videos were Goldilocks.
Stop cupcaking him and clean the ice maker.
Badmouth your BF with your BFF. Keep getting those cuddles. [ Send a Direct Message ]
The methods and madness of making sounds memorable.
Voice and Tone Is a Rap
Although ████ bottles are designed to be nearly indestructible, the very existence of danger and mystery compel us to include an ironclad warranty to put your mind at rest. This is that.
Come eat with us.
Charsky & Cluck
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 198 - Emergency gasoline stash for your moped.
You take a chance on a BBQ spot And it’s horrible. Find better BBQ... better.
Stack up to 256 wavetables on a single oscillator, import wavetables that look like cartoon characters, or draw your own custom manipulations and see how they sound.
We only drink when it's outside outside.
For your highness.
Your all time high.
Silence every "LOL." Mute search terms with █████████.
███ is beautiful, so you can easily use it in public. It's discreet, so you don't have to share. Available in vibrant colors, if you dare.
Commit to your commitments.
VPS for OMG
Sticky like everything else that's good.
At each restaurant you’ll get half of a burger and a full amount of shame.
Belong anywhere, even in an office on the weekend.
Celebrate Diwali with your tastebuds.
Pay-as-you-go plugins. Make-them-say-whoa results.
A DRINKING SOLUTION
We created ████ to address a serious issue: gluten-free pasta often tastes like it.
“We had two options: Call our ████████ Certified Psychedelic Coach, or go ask Alice... when she's ten feet tall. So, really, we had one option.” - Jefferson Airplane
Take an important roll.
Never not open
Polly Esther’s Chicken
Free trial. $5.99 month after that until it's paid off. Boom.
Stay informed. Follow your beliefs.
Hold on. Arguing over the GOAT.
Hold on. Becoming the instrument.
Giving █████ a new soul
Nobody borrows pens. They steal them.
Hope you don't freeze under pressure.
Full of one-shots overflowing with feeling.
Goo for Groups
Lorem ipsummary.
Vote early and vote often. (Potentially more rewarding than voting for politicians.)
Chopsticks & Cheetos
orange (maybe not, could be mistaken for the fruit)
(Please be patient. Your special award might take a month or two to arrive.)
Start collecting mints from the restaurants you visit. It'll be cool.
Your life's works.
BODY: ███████ is your real-time public profile, so we're giving you more ways to express yourself and making it easier for you to do you. ███████ will look better, and you'll look better on ███████. Hoo-rah.
All are hosted by my well-seasoned friends.
Snapshot Mug (11oz or 15oz): Cover this mug with the most dashing photo of your father, printed all over. It will be one time you don't mind him repeating himself. $11.99.
A hostess helping a man sit at a table by pulling out him seat for him, but she does it as he’s already sitting, causing him to fall on his ass. A waiter brings the man his check as he’s pulling himself off the floor.
Admit it. Sometimes chocolate becomes all you can chocolate about. That's why we only chocolate the finest ingredients with chocolatey chocolate to chocolate chocolate.
Hear LeBron's opinion of soccer.
Set for life.
Old-Bay Crab Po' Boy and two tallboys of Old English.
Awesomely assembled in the USA. Hooray.
A voice box with knobs and better code. Vocal chords.
Sharing ████ is nice but unnecessary.
Prince played 27 different instruments on his debut album For You. He did it 4 u
Pretty, intense.
Low-country, high life.
████ is earth-friendly water + friend-friendly sparkles, with immunity-boosting goodness like Vitamin-C and antioxidants.
Hold on. Finding quarters for the jukebox.
█████ includes 450 presets and 144 wavetables divided by category, with sounds ranging from ambient to apocalyptic. Never run short on inspiration.
Play for the future. Schedule ██████ with █████████.
Book a candle-lit table for you and boo.
How to sample your neighborhood: getting Gowanus
You'll find true love at a popular restaurant. AKA dessert.
█████, we loved your cease and desist
A kajillion kicks. So many snares. Too many hats. Explore ██████ ██████ and get your drums set.
You can’t eat every great sandwich in the world. But you can try.
9 innings. 9 million perspectives. Text REDS to 40404.
What’s the difference between a burrito and wrap? You crave burritos.
Rare Rhythm Boxes pays homage to early studio beasts
Break Fowl
Begin your hike at the Coastal Trail and weave through time and space like a tale of two cities: coastal wilderness clashing up against high-tech civilization.
We build the front end of ██████, which means we put a face on everything people read. We do this by using technologies so new they still sparkle.
Prepare for the best.
They're Good Indoor Friends
Spit game to your fans.
Save water, not ████
Coffee is our cologne.
Patience is overrated.
Feast for a Fortnight
Pirated plugins were cool when we were 11. Now we can’t deal with crashing DAWs and corrupted files.
[general] A banana peels itself and steps into a shower, turning on the faucet. Liquid chocolate showers down on the banana, covering it completely. **It’s payday. You’re covered.
Hear your favorite music from high school like you heard it in high school.
Peace Preparedness Kit
You know that moment when you lower your goggles and the mountain becomes a video game? It's like that, but with more thirst quenching.
Act casual. You will soon eat at a casual restaurant.
The best tickets in any event. (Get it? Wordplay ugh.)
█████: Hold it in your hand. Feel it in your gut.
Get updates on your favorite teams, players and personalities, without unnecessary roughness.
The geometric beauty of pizza will soon become obvious.
Stripping music down to its essential elements.
Hold on. Cleaning the green room.
Note that it's helmed by Michelin-starred Chef Jason Atherton and Executive Chef Robert Daniels, if that means anything to you. If not, it will after you’ve eaten there.
Whatever you're into, it's already on ███████!
Play takes work.
A woman tries to fit her computer into a narrow safe deposit box. It won’t fit, but she keeps trying different angles anyway.
Two detectives stand on either side of a 2-TOP DINING TABLE, examining it. It's been cordoned off from the other tables by yellow crime scene tape. An untouched menu is marked with a bright yellow evidence card.
Many hands, right work.
"Here's ████████ at you, @kid."
The dinosaurs had tar pits. We have the Internet.
F.O.O.D. - Federation of Organized Diners
“Don’t be an ass with your assets.”
Photay reimagines Laraaji his way
Sit where it's legit. Discover and book tables at any restaurant with a tap.
Did you use █████ to get to scale? Did you dogfood, or did you bail? You didn’t give yourself a try... You needed ███████ to get by.
██████ ██████ shortens the path between concept and classic.
Push the mutton.
Our chilled drinks are twice-iced.
Give each unison voice its own waveform, tune them or twist them together, or just try the different modes until everything but █████ fades away.
Share a recipe with a cartoon dog.
No partridges or pear trees.
Another day, another dongle.
Adopt a █████.
Save room for dessert: the raclette is the perfect size for s’mores.
Hold on. Judging your SoundCloud.
Drink up the universe. See stars when you pee.
Park and Procure
Burritos are originally from California. Ours are from the kitchen.
Life is painful. Make it more so.
You are ready for some football.
Some things are better together: - Sunshine & Saturdays - █████████ & ████████ - Hot subs & cold drinks
better screening and matching with guests (no meanies, we promise)
All the world's a stage. We're its ticket window.
To make her happy, get tappy.
The mother of invention.
Very few genres are hyphenated anymore, with the exceptions listed above. An superfluous hyphen can feel as antiquated as the one in _to-morrow_. When in doubt, leave it out.
Psychedelics making you blueberry? Call 1-833-2████████ for 24 7 interdimensional support.
Incredible Workhorse
The other The Wire
[ I’ll make it ]
Hey, bro. Can we borrow $1,000,000?
Modeled after the tape delays that inspired new sounds, genres, and life choices
A mask really brings out your eyes
The meanest plugins. The nicest price.
Let's be real: Paris isn't about falling in love. Not with people, anyway.
Fauncy Chicken
extweme-makeover
Find a table for a memorable meal. But don't make it your last.
Bad chemistry.
{The Simpsons Series Finale}
[general] Close on: a work computer's generic Desktop. A mouse cursor clicks HARD DRIVE and drags it over to TRASH. **It's payday. Delete your stress.
By now you’ve discovered that pirated plugins are subpar. We made ██████ ███████████ to make going legit a legitimate option.
████ bottle Use Case 401 - Molotov mocktail.
Collage Mug (11oz): Fit up to fifteen photos of Dad's passions on this porcelain vessel. Remember to include the pic of the chair he naps in. $12.99
Embrace Y C brethren or exchange Mother Goose.
It's delicious, refreshing, and nice on Mother Nature. (You should always be nice to moms.)
Our adventure administrators are still field-testing the perfect trip for you.
Happy Holidays. You’re the sweetest.
Socially adept
An admin wrote this ad.
A quarter off the whole shebang. Dang.
There's only one good way to save internet money.
Start at Four Barrel on Valencia and 15th, sip your way up to Ritual on Valencia and 21st, then jitter over to Philz.
(Just remember to save room for dessert.)
Our phasers aren't the only things we set to stun.
24 7 psychedelic support. Hide it from your mom. (Unless she’s a cool mom.)
With the right combination, you can win a championship, open a bank vault, or make the perfect lunch.
Rhythmic effects. (Because rhythm affects.)
New on ██████: ████████, the block-knocking kick drum generator. [Try it now]
GBD
“One system to rule them all.”
healthy fats, pro-you antioxidants, active enzymes, and flavorful, um, flavors.
Show your true (team) colors on ███████. Personalize your profile.
Artist collections. By actual artists.
Stop telling everyone about your juice cleanse
Questions? Schematics? Recipes? [Reach out.]
Leo Fender couldn’t play the guitar. Neither could half of our favorite guitarists.
██████ automatically syncs yours DAW projects to the cloud, so you can worry about losing yourself in the work instead of losing work.
Take the chants.
Showgoer Show Mi* (female)
Unexpected Delays
Eat great food and drink fine wine around a flickering fire. Save room for dessert s'mores. Bring a jacket, because it might get brrrrrrr.
Hurry Hurry Permits
Lipstick and Lip
Where stand-ups tell jokes while sitting down. [ Get ███████ ]
Le Beak
COPY: Expect more from dining. Do less to get it.
A hike to a view, and a coffee, or two.
Headline: Your HR in Q4? Probably a snore.
Take the fabric of reality to get dry-cleaned
Share cinematic ██████.
When using ███ in public, be prepared to spark up conversations. (Adventure is sometimes inevitable.)
Walk with the waves.
GETTING A GRAMMY IS SIMPLE.
We read the scientific papers and small-circulation print publications that make saner people snore.
Where have you bean?
Rough-trail-tested shoes, as comfortable as an old friend and as durable as that friendship. Maybe even more.
VISUAL: A family gathered around a table to celebrate an old Pug sitting at the end, gray with age and wearing a birthday hat. It's the only creature pictured who doesn't look excited. There's a birthday cake in the shape of a bone.
Aromatic Aspirin
Troll out the red carpet.
We outsmart sly types
Basil relaxes, renews, restores, regulates, and makes people think you’re so chill.
Pirated plugins were cool when we were young, but we’re adults now.
If we saw Mommy dissing Santa Claus, we wouldn't tell. Same goes for you.
The deafening roar of the crowd. Underneath it all, thousands of silent prayers. All for cricket.
We've found that raw talent and youthful vigor often make up for lack of experience, which we provide anyway.
a mechanical keyboard that’s quiet for once
████████ kills admin busy work by echoing personnel changes across hundreds of apps and services.
Gardening essentials for the bedroom botanist.
red snapper blues snapper
Hold on. Untangling earbuds.
The best thing on the menu won't be on it tomorrow.
Bottles weighted for adult Spin-the-Bottle.
Title your book or publication in a way that clearly communicates it's about ███████, not created by ███████. For example, "Learn How to 'X' on ███████" is appropriate, whereas "The ███████ Guide to 'X'" is not.
You just spent 15 minutes composing a text. And it’s a masterpiece.
Go the whole 99 yards with ███████.
Where there's a WHOA, there's a way.
Think big. █████ a little.
Do you shampoo with orange juice? That's a little weird, but we reward weirdness with ████ bars and █████████ gift cards.
Because cat birthing videos aren't for everyone. [ Send a Direct Message ]
DUI DIY
In quirky corners of the Bay that blend living, working, and art, we find warehouses with unreinforced masonry, code violations, and charm.
Expect a special surprise along the way, if surprises can even be expected.
Upgrade the heart of your studio.
Nature's bounty should be babied, like your baby.
Animals smoking animals.
To us, it's the first place we were enveloped in fog. It's where Jared proposed to Gustav. It's the road that takes us home to our children.
It’s payday. Feels springy.
Hear live shows, see live sports, feel alive.
It's delicious, refreshing, and easy on the earth. (Why make things hard?)
are {adverb} fast-acting, like a superhero with something to prove.
See farther. Go further. [ Download █████████ ]
A tightly woven family of brand bards, video virtuosos, and communications connoisseurs. We grow the voice of companies small and tall.
Frangrant Disregarden (okay, obviously not this)
It is at once beautiful, messy, frenetic, and invigorating. And it won't fit on a postcard.
Simon Goetz loves your mom and hates your dad. He also loves that your mom hates your dad. Simon says he'll see you at Christmas. [129]
Arepas are a-maize-ing. (Too corny?)
Fill your pockets.
Secrets go here. [ Send a Direct Message ]
Order the brussels sprouts because you trust us. Afterwards, head to a show at [[the Castro Theatre]] — they’re playing Ghostbusters this weekend. Just don’t cross streams.
A launch pad for products. Usually the right stuff.
Travel like you never left home.
All for show(s).
Voice and tone is responsible for making more great albums, ridiculous money, and surprise babies than your 8th-grade creative writing teacher would ever suspect.
Vote "NO" on anything involving office politics.
Transparent parenting.
We are all originals.
The pizza shop knows you hate anchovies We know you love sea shanties.
New doesn’t always mean better. Except here.
Stadium seating on the bus. [ Join in ]
Don't make a restaurant look for you. If your plans change, cancel your reservation.
Make sushi, then eat it. Make friends, then tweet it.
Does Mt. Rushmore get Presidents' Day off?
Drink twice before making big decisions.
Burritos and Bad Tattoos
Join the flock. Improve the way hundreds of millions of people interact. Like it's your job.
We sent this gift to remind you that no broker works in a vacuum. Instead, you’re empowered (or restricted) by the companies with which you partner. So it makes sense to choose a partner that helps you clean up.
Jamie weren't invited.
Have a social circle that circles the planet.
You're in deep water.
The new way to know where to wolf.
"Short story long."
12 days of Feastmas
Good band names are hard. Good rap names are harder.
Nothing but 'net
Know the places they go, avoid the places they don't.
Trust your gut in this blind wine-tasting class.
Magic Recs uses complex algorithms and simple magic to recommend accounts you might like. So you can follow smarter and fave harder.
Every sound you could possibly need, from Accordion burps to Zebra chirps. Better building blocks for building better beats.
Okay, we say. We made this one for everyone who isn’t you, Janet.
C'mon. Touch it.
Sweet Thing, A$AP Rocky opens minds tomorrow at MoMA. You recently listened to similar sounds on Rdio, you damn hipster. 2 friends are into it.
HR superpowers are underrated.
You probably don't need us to spell it out, but just in case you do:
"Drink till you feel it in your calves."
We write good.
Each Direct Message on ███████ can contain up to 10 thousand characters. Your social circle can only contain one, and it's you.
This ad is made for HR, IT, and People-Ops people: try ████████. We aren’t just saying that because we are ████████.
Our bottles are time capsules for water. Fill yours and bury it. Ten years from now you'll be different, but the water will taste the same.
All Your Bass
Get a table for breakfast while you're still in bed.
Get onboard(ing).
Even the sound of a printer jamming makes me want to weep.
[WorldCup] on ███████. Love every second.
Data propagation is our everything.
Join our ranks. Improve the way hundreds of millions of people interact. Then go to lunch.
A juice cleanse is like a good dress. Once you find one that fits, KAPOW.
C) Relationship status: "It's complicated." Congratulations. You're hardcore.
Simplify, then simplify again.
Some companies use █████ because it’s cute, (your site slaps)
███ FX Bundle is now on ██████. Get true grit, sonic glamor, evolving spaces, and analog-modeled audities.
Every possible perspective, from behind home plate to behind a plate of home cooking.
Cover Story’s Doo Wop Does It
We started back in grade school, doing other kids' homework.
█████ lets you invent creative sounds with a intuitive layout for sound design, custom drawn or imported waveforms, and real-time waveform animation.
Though the idea of someone helping you through a psychedelic experience may seem a little strange, people have been seeking guidance from experienced folks since humans began experimenting with fungi.
It's illegal to drive a car with a comic book open in the passenger's seat in Oklahoma.
Ottoman Empire
Cultural Courier
Avoid tension.
Introducing ███. Look to the future by looking at it.
When have a commercial during the Super Bowl, it will star the employees who bring in donuts tomorrow.
"Password" is a horrible password.
The why may be unanswerable. It may be a whispered question asked of the deafening universe, an impenetrable puzzle box that we spend decades attempting to open.
Run into Jennifer Lawrence without going to LA!
Tie one on in a tie. Get drunk in a dress.
As long as you pay off what you spent, you won’t lose a crypto cent.
PolySynthwave is for corrupted-disk cosmonauts
Live-stream life.
Share the worst things with your best friends. [ Send a Direct Message ]
are {adverb} fast-acting, like cartoon medicine.
Reach more diners by linking them to your posts, tweets, 'grams, and snaps.
So that’s either you +3 or you +1.
Justin Timberlake’s real name is Dustin Simbertake.
Onions make people cry. Not the other way around.
Don’t mention milkshakes or Grey Poupon.
Valentine's Day is in 9 Days. Don't wait 8 days to book a table, like last year.
So we let our 5-year-old friend Charlie write it for us:
I need to quit this job, it sucks. “Office party” is now a painful oxymoron. All the mandatory smiles. I fear birthdays now.
Whether bouncing around in trucks or nestled in a tux, ███ is always at home.
Go to your favorite restaurant, create a table within the app, and tell your server you'll be paying with █████. Pocket your phone. Order. Eat. Then wipe your mouth and walk out.
Try new things. _Guy driving a Zamboni, guy exploring caves, guy kissing a guy._
When you can’t trust your gut.
That wouldn’t have been possible without you. The bottle thing, not the sweat thing. Again: gross.
Lucky Tutu* (female)
Loosen your goose
We're those nerds you never invite to parties.
█████ ██ ████, YOU'LL WANT OUR JOB.
All powered up and ready to whoa.
Live moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and shoot video of the roses, you might miss it. [ Try it out ]
Next week, you aren't what you eat. (35) ____ tables
This holiday season, may your cocoa remain hot, your snowballs land cold, your pines live indoors, your candles stay lit, your house be gingerbread, your dreidels fall favorably, and your chimneys sweep themselves.
Enjoy waiting? Then wait for the dunny.
Hold on. Recommending good bars.
Catch your breath. Pray you don't catch your death.
Know your type.
Your search for kicks can stop right here
Share your home remedy for stress to win an away-from-home remedy for stress (like a trip to your favorite spa).
Don't worry, we'll only write you on special occasions, like when we're launching something special.
██████ ███ doesn’t limit your creativity with a track or bus limit. Use 34 tracks for kicks, just for kicks.
Claws and FX.
Be of sound mind.
Then tangle them, mangle them, and make them your own.
Safety in numbers.
SK8 OR TRY
Headline: No sweat.
En papillote - This is basically fruit en papillote, he said, before sprinkling his strawberry Pop-Tart with lime.
Committed to your safety like Mom
We source the sweetest strawberries (high in vitamin C and antioxidants) and the stickiest icky (high in THC and anti-establishments)
Strawberry-rhubarb pie for the cost of strawberries and rhubarb.
███████ is Good at Sports
[Designers, Engineers, Writers, Interns, Analysts, Exciters, Readers, Dreamers, Artists, Developers, Strategists, Ping-pongers, Managers, Communicators, Motivators, Schemers, Planners, Pontificators, Philosophers, Learners, Producers, Coordinators]
Feed the 'herd.
██████ ██████ has every sound you can possibly think of, and many you can’t (like brass_cheetah_laser.wav).
Facilities full of possibilities.
Big and small, ████ can be all. Remix your bottle with a twist of the wrist.
On an average day we lose up to ten cups of water, and that's before factoring in hot yoga or sauna-side Scrabble tournaments.
Hungry on the Hill
Scrub a dub dub Sanitize a nize nize
Good things ahead
CEOs like us. We like most of them.
██████ ███████████. Premium plugins at your pace. Cancel: whenever. Regrets: never.
Drove through a thunderstorm so loud, Blue sat on Cam's lap for an hour, shaking. The bigger the dog, the harder the wimper.
"Just be careful. If you stop in for a coffee, you may walk out with a pizza. Story of our lives."
We specialize in wire, but our focus within that world has always been vineyard and trellis wire. (We like wine grapes, okay?)
Okay, we say. We made this one for everyone else who isn’t you, Janet.
Drink in the view.
Dirt like Dilla.
Bathe in the crimson blood of your enemies.
Storytelling... down to a science.
Now give us a moment. We're picking out the best ██████.
(Tours, ewww, I know.)
There are plenty of fish in the sea, so keep swimming.
Color and code.
We work together to stand apart.
cup-and-string phone plan upgrade
Graffiti might have started in New York, but San Francisco is where it thrives. See the city of murals and markers through the eyes of Fnnch, one of its most notorious artists.
(Waiting in a drumline would be cooler.)
A Grammy-winning track was arranged here.
Hold on. Explaining rap to parents.
Life, camera, action.
Prime beef for the cost of pit beef.
THE MORE WE KNOW
We do what others don’t.
Headlines, subject lines, CTAs, and even texts to your mom are always stronger in the active voice.
Image: You should probably go home with him.
Set up employee computers in two clicks. Four clicks if you’re my mom.
███████ ADD-ONS EXTRA-CURRICULAR COURSEWORK
COMFORTABLY NUMB
It's the Journey, not the destination.
Sure. You're driving tho.
Follow smarter. Fave harder.
Eat a better brunch because science.
The DAW made for making it.
A magical history tour.
██████ ██████ shortens the path between concept and classic. 2M+ samples. Free trial.
Forgive a pinch of insufferable weekend-retreat creative-writing-guru gibberish for a moment: ██████’s Voice and Tone can be the creative bones of your writing. It provides lines for you to color within.
We had some obstacles. The product didn’t exist yet.
Fight the good fight. With bad aliens.
A woman tries to fit her computer into a narrow safe deposit box. Of course it won’t fit, but she keeps trying different angles anyway.
Take 10, again and again.
Y'all are welcome.
The right table is in hand.
Suzy had to change her password. IT had to change their plans.
End hunger tonight.
expensive taste ≠ expensive taste
Improve your opinion of brunch.
Our heads are in the cloud. It powers everything we do, connecting authors with readers, learners with teachers, and workers across continents. We work in Python, Scala, Redis, and finger paint.
Possible copy: "There is no wrong way to use ███████, but there is a boring way." "█████ about your meal, but only if your meal is remarkable in some way, like bugs or poison."
(Black is as classic as anything. Gold never gets old.)
Variety is the spice of life, but today we're leaning on jalapeños.
Get into the wind.
Napkins will be necessary.
We like you over there
Real-time support. (For when time doesn’t seem real.)
THE ITALIAN MEDALLION
A place for professional cooks and industry icons to eat eats and drink drinks.
Use the app that wrote the book on restaurant reservations.
are {adverb} fast-acting, like the WIFI you only hear about.
The Six Steps to Heaven
He practically invented vacuum insulation for bottles (humble brag) and will be spending the entire manufacturing window at the factory to oversee the process (he’s passionate).
Hold on. Panning pots.
Only Losers Like Lipslides
Production tips, community gems, and making ends.
Get a leg up on restaurant reservations.
(Re)fine(d) dining.
Muttony gluttony.
Stop by and meet people with similar tastes.
Less commitment than a collab with a snowman in the spring.
They'd kill for a normal life.
THIS CARD WAS DESIGNED TO BE DISPLAYED ON YOUR MANTEL, IF YOU EVEN HAVE ONE IN YOUR APARTMENT, BECAUSE THE HOLIDAYS ARE ALL ABOUT CARDS YOU'LL EVENTUALLY RECYCLE.
Be Present, Give Presents
Get cash in seconds, or as quickly as you can refresh a page.
Encrypt everything at work. From home.
Get a book deal.
Received good gifts? Don't be sad. One click and you could still win.
"Tell them what you really think."
TL;DR shouldn't be TL.
The Cleanest Dirt
Strut your stuff.
Design is in the heart. Adjacent to groove.
So much star power.
Seconds to learn, a lifetime to listen
Mind your business.
Latin Stacks: Live and Resampled has layers of players
Yeah. Ask him if we can get our tiramisu to go.
Find adventure, culture, nature, and romance. Forget to find a postcard.
Smoking is good for you.
OMG. It’s the first DAW on RTO.
██████████████ is the new app for reliable restaurant reviews of good food (no nectar, really, but some nectarines).
Our food is simple (like you). Our flavors are complex (like her).
Look who’s special. A member of our team will contact you shortly.
We wanted to toast our burritos over bonfires. Fire Marshal said no.
Free meat samplers for vegans.
Save (for) your life.
League is better with the legends.
With ghost-proof packaging.
Hold on. Re-stringing lutes.
██████ is engaged in the music industry, and realistic about the work it takes to make it big, but we’re impervious to cynicism, negativity, and snark.
You're welcome.
Beth takes her kids budget skydiving and her number of dependents change. (████████ changes everything else.)
Show the world.
In fact, she feels more at home than at home.
Sonoma Beer Tour: No Wining
Meet ██████. Borrow and lend cryptocurrency like you understand it.
Homemade food to help you recover from what almost unmade you.
Spread democracy, one █████ at a time.
[ @beachballco - 66\% of beach balls are sold in landlocked states. Where did you last bounce one around? ]
The Joy of Khao Soi
You'll meet a mysterious waiter at dinner. (42) ____ tables
Get maximum air(time).
Use ███████ off your own bat.
A possible fix: to show the specific use cases in the images, but never call any out in the copy. And God, no drive-ins, please.
Be the instrument.
Go behind the scenes of SF's culinary industry and live like a chef for a week. Meet locals passionate about the "experience of food" and see how their craft spans the spectrum between unchecked innovation and nostalgic reverence. You’ll want to return for seconds.
███████ Ring (Give a ring to....)
Know thy baby.
Drank coffee like a boss
Every nail-biting moment, in real time, so you'll know when to breathe.
Most Chef.
It's no different than dressing up for a date, or not mentioning Ryan when you're around Lily (she's obsessed).
A seltzery salve for society.
Run your business the way it runs in your head.
Stockings stuffed, head clear.
Follow Virat on ███████. See the world through his eyes.
Whorl (fingerprint pattern, among other things)
Know it all, without being a know-it-all. [ Get ███████ ]
I'll behave more like a friend than a business
Headline: Quick as a shot.
~~And once they reach a certain size, █████, you know you’re not the guys.~~
Get behind me, cider!
WHO TOLD YOU?
The Gaze Gazette
Dirt like Dre.
Soul █████ Keys is a secret weapon
These are the people who made me. Mom likes to remind me that she can also unmake me.
You just noticed that objects have personalities, and suddenly your phone looks mean. Email us.
SUBHEAD: Keep them quiet.
I Do’er Justine Married* (female)
Bad poetry readings stole finger snaps. It’s time we stole them back.
You'll over-salt a soup. (24) ____ tables
Like some before us, we sailed the world in search of a refreshing water source that’s softer on Mother Nature’s supply.
Some trails are thousands of miles. And yet, they look easy on a map.
The tumbler features a hidden bottle opener to help you make friends. It’s removable, so you can leave it at home if you don’t want company or bottled drinks.
Feed your head. Save your bread.
A Jetta full of skeptical teens
Don’t hug strangers
Prime beef plates. Pit beef prices.
███████. Straight and to the points. MarchMadness
Overlapping area: ███████ -- Goldilocks solutions (just right)
It's the people who live here, the lunch truck that sells homemade Snickers bars, and the secret staircases snaking up from Derek's neighborhood to a hill overlooking everything.
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 447 - Astronaut curse jar.
(We’re all about good experiences, not the other kind.)
SingleRing
Still infected. Slept my whole weekend away.
The Mona Lisa knows.
Counter agriculture.
ANTI-ANTISOCIAL
Never be alone again.
Pick the samples you want from thousands of packs. Never run out of inspiration (or 808s).
Mary had a little lamb, a little wine, a few yams.
Or maybe, just maybe, it's the DJ booth on the main floor. Yeah, that's why we remember it.
Join CC Sabathia on ████████ for a live and exclusive look into the baseball legend’s mind.
You can sit with us.
That kiddie pool in yard would look great in the living room.
Be everywhere at once.
Don't get too colloquial and use the immortal American contraction, ain't (aye not?), but go ahead and snap that snare behind the beat.
█████ helps you make sounds from another world. ██████ ███████████ helps you save money for this one.
Give up work, but not control.
You can fight city hall.
Download the ███████ █████ app and raise money for a good cause each time you bike. Feel great about feeling great.
Includes fine cheeses, of course.
A Foggy Caribbean Holiday
We can't contain ourselves.
Work software is boring. This ad is, too.
Direct Messages no longer have a 140-character limit. Speak your mind. All of it.
███████ uses a combination of math and magic to recommend accounts you'll adore and ██████ you'll love. So you can follow smarter and fave harder.
If you’re naked too long, you’ll grow pockets.
Here's how you eat for free fifty-free:
Take some noise.
Collections of place holders.
The Voice. Who is the best judge? You be the judge on ███████.
Bacuase wrok detiuls mttaer
Supply & McMahon
Enjoy experimenting with filters that distort, delays that get demonic, compressors that crunch, reverbs that rebound, and preamps that sparkle.
partly its ear-thawing warmth (especially on vocals). Many tried to imitate it, but nobody came close. Thanks to ███████, the inimitable Neve 1073 is no longer inimitable.
TRY ANGLES
███'s hands have worked for brands right and left, but his feet don't do a damn thing.
C) Do you pay the Internet bill first? Congratulations. You're hardcore.
Image: Don’t drop the ball this year. Try ████████.
We think it contains some of the most musical effects in the business, but we’re a little bit biased.
[general] A very un-Clippy paper clip flexes. **It's payday. Way to keep it together.
Visionary vapor.
Our proposal is this: verbal duel or a truce.
Fight █████ illiteracy. Use ██████████.
We’re the friend you trust to give you an honest opinion of something, including that song you just cobbled together with those horrible horn stabs.
Quill - Master your domain.
████ Tangy Mango gummies act faster than an over-caffeinated auntie when she’s asked for a hug. (Brace yourself is what we’re saying.)
Network on the network built for that.
Later, while you’re waiting for Olivia outside the bodega, find a kick. One that kicks you in the gut.
secret margaritas
You’ll finish the evening with a coconut-based Thai dessert and some pocky.
Tape Heads
Download one app. Become a better parent.
A wavy rainbow of ramen underlines the text
If you’re considering an office husband but you’re at a new job, don’t forget the prenup.
No way, knowhow.
No, you don’t. But we encourage it.
The good book.
Real-time cat photos.
Beautiful. You're all set.
Painstakingly designed for painless plants.
Strap on your guitar and feed bag for this locally-sourced, healthy BBQ picnic.
Shiso - He thought his tattoo was kanji for "warrior spirit." But it really meant, "tastes like shiso."
Give Dad 110\% by getting 25\% off! (If he's a math teacher, he'll explain.)
The world's box office.
If you're tracking the Iowa caucuses because you're on the fence about who you'll vote for in the general election, we recommend ████████ as a write-in.
Collecting power-ups is better with Power Punk.
You heard us right: EVERY EXPERIENCE IS FREE NINETY-FREE.
Boozy magic.* \^no actual magic included, just electrolytes
Your delicate language, so hard to resist.
No @ necessary. You follow?
It imbues each sip with a light citrus snap that's more refreshing than tomorrow, even if it wasn't born yesterday.
Get your vitamin C the fun way.
Dine out. Wine out.
We work with top tech companies, local non-profits, real estate investors, and entrepreneurs on a variety of projects, from warehouse conversions and loft lifts to commercial-building resurrections and moving office redesigns.
Change your career in 90 seconds.
West of the Moon
COPY: Have it together.
See the good in ███████.
No matter how new, ubiquitous, or closely tied into music your favorite slang may seem at the moment, it will date ██████'s copy faster than your mom learned to use "woke" in a sentence.
Unlike your date, human interaction is optional.
Your partner will leave you for a <cuisine> place, then reconcile after the dinner.
Copy our look and feel, as this may cause confusion. (Imitation is the most illegal form of flattery.)
We just found out that koala bears don't drink water. They suddenly seem a lot less cute.
Seize the day, but also tomorrow. We have too much planned to regret our drinking choices.
No naked faces. Mask required.
Remember that there’s no real need to delete a project on ██████, unless you’re sick of the sound of it. ██████ will always back up all of your projects for free, forever.
We’ll be there for you when “there” seems too abstract.
A shore thing.
███ fits into your life, and also your pocket.
Detail your details.
Creepin’ Jesus
B) Exercise to improve your profile pics? Congratulations. You're hardcore.
Surprisingly, more permanent than tattoos.
Be an astronaut.
SUBJECT A: To look better, apply ███████.
You add two letter to Dave’s title (VP). ████████ changes everything else.
The primary site, LinkedIn profile, or pizza blog you maintain.
We've been around the block. (We rebuilt most of it, too.)
We live at the intersection of technology and manufacturing.
“If art is how we decorate space, music is how we decorate time.” -Unknown internet philosopher
Dead Ringer boasts some of the best bartenders in the world, none of which will insist you call them mixologists.
"Even the Child's Pose can feel advanced without the right mindset."
The holidays bring people together. So does ███.
No, don't trust your gut.
Eat like a prince. Pay like a pauper.
oversized blunt-weapon game piece in Clue.
Create the Sistine Chapel of napkin doodles.
Oregon Donor
Pretty Good Dough
Warm, Wicked, and Wide-range
Mama’s Medicine
Life is a monster. Get some space.
Smooth while roughing it
Take a caffeine-fueled walking tour of the daily grind at Four Barrel Coffee, Ritual Roasters, and Philz.
One man's cool is another man's kewl.
We're sorry, but the new ███████ profile is not available on mobile devices just yet.
Save the date. Save your money. Save your date.
Get the goods.
Hotter than a summer on the sun.
Your favorite restaurant shouldn't be as hard to get into as Cockney rhyming slang.
It started at the sink. Chris Hotell VS. the Water Bottle Grime.
Blood is thicker than water. Ask any scientist.
RAPT - Restaurants Are People Too
We'll make you an offer you can't reuse.
Sit behind home plate. (Without leaving the cheap seats.) Text ATHL to 40404 and download the free ███████ app.
Which is too bad, because we reward good grovelers with free laptops and $10,000.
Schedule your video publishing and let ██████ handle the rest. Great for structured content roll-outs, late mornings, and vacations.
The Weekly Uniquely
Vegetarians may go hungry.
Loaves, fishes, and many other dishes.
Basil Instinct
Don't get bend out of shape over restaurant reservations. Discover and book tables with a few healthy taps.
Never never ever use exclamation marks. If a copywriter only uses exclamation marks three times throughout their career, they still used them too many times.
mountains shrouded in fog, majestic forests, parks inside parking lots, secret staircases, rooftop gardens
Sing-Sing Sauce "A prison of hotness."
New sounds. Guaranteed.
“Dad likes art he can relate to, but we printed a canvas featuring our portrait anyway.”
Vincent Van Dough
Find the best of right now.
"I got lost on a trail here once, but then I looked up and saw Sutro Tower."
Then stumble down the block for a $2 Tecate at the 500 Club, where it's not unusual to see a dog sitting on bar stool between regulars.
Can't go home sick.
Artists Ascending
██████████████ is the new restaurant review app that forgoes table manners to focus on what’s on the table.
A riot of color.
All the bells and whistles.
Sample Magic’s Breaks & Beats never dusts
all who embrace creation and gall--
Large and luminously orange, the Golden Gate Bridge deserves every bit of its reputation as a worldwide icon.
Instruments of change
█████████ lets you quickly make reservations at your favorite restaurants, without wasting any of the precious moments you have left.
It’s about time
OH NO! Our servers are all home sick with some nasty bug Wendy gave everybody. Come back later!
Stainless-Steel Water Bottle** The yard work is necessary, the dehydration is not. Quench Dad's thirst with this water bottle, adorned with your photo and built to last. _$18.99
Alter the Laws of Physics
Unfortunately, most tourists don't see San Francisco. They only see Fisherman's Wharf from a tour bus while eating ~~cold~~ clam chowder.
Udupi Palace - Get the South Indian Thali and have a discussion with Naveed about Michael Jackson.
I made x reservations with █████████ in 2016. Post savory stats with me in 2017!
The best way to eat ice cream during the winter is in a car going 70 mph, with the heat blasting. Be careful. The dog might steal a lick.
A woozy walking tour of Fort Point Brewery and more.
Valentine's Day is in 13 days! (Booking a romantic table is half the battle.)
The moon will hit your eye like a big pizza pie. (48) ____ tables
Savory in Sydney.
Aborigines call it "Karta," meaning "island of the dead." You'll call it breathtaking.
What's the meaning of PutATacoOnIt? DontAsk
Master of Assistants
Only 11 days until Valentine's Day. Plenty of time to convince them you're worth it.
“We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. We were so lucky to have made a solid game plan for just such a thing with Janet, our ████████ Certified Psychedelic Coach.” - Raoul Duke
A Google Street View SUV drove by while I picked my nose in front of my apartment building. I hope women don't use the Internet.
For your sides quest.
These aren’t tours, they’re adventures.
Don’t trust American comedians or Canadian rappers.
Some people never learn!
Hunger is horrible. Thirst is the worst. Hit the spot: drop by ███ ████████████, a lot. Our cocktails are cold, our food is not. Located at Webster and Clybourn.
In general, we think █████’s neat for Mom & Pop stores down the street.
They're too small. They can't see them with their old eyes.
Emoji are already kind of a big deal. We just made them bigger.
Perennially Grateful
████ isn't the same as love, but it's close.
You're finished.
Check out the SnapChat photo filters we made especially for this. Snap something cool and share it. (It'll be cool.)
Get lost in a place by finding your people.
Needs moar mermaids
Better parenting through technology.
Here's the dealio.
86 lardons
reusable Molotov cocktail (not really, guys, c'mon).
half the patrons in here could be a body double for Norm
When you touch your face, you feel the features of your ancestors. We feel you.
~~Our algorithm is so good, your friends don’t need good taste.~~
We're Hiring! (Gainful employment indeed)
Millions of sounds, cultivated and categorized. Search by genre, key, instrument, and much more. Inspiration for any mood. Even that one.
Trail Tested. Recraft Ready.
Try ██████████ █, pop mastermind Ian Kirkpatrick’s desert-island vocoder.
Skillet Farmer
Don't play God. You'll lose.
Semifreddo - It was supposed to be served semifreddo, but then he semi forgot and it melted.
You don't have to like spreadsheets. We do.
JAPANESE BOWLING
"Ever since I first encountered Joe, the 4-top at Bebe's, I thought: 'I'm by myself. This will never work.'" I was wrong. It's the first pine table that's felt like it accepts me for who I am and where I wanna sit."
Be clever, but never silly.
Time to set up Teams. (You'll manage.)
Design and cooking are very similar, but you can't eat a site.
Learn everything about the shortest distance between you and your interests.
In case it isn't obvious, let me say this: I love it here, and the positives far outweigh the negatives. Kisses, crew.
Create the kick in your head
We tested it by giving it to people, and made sure it was shaped for the hand and the holder.
The drum circle in SF was fun, but it doesn't come close to the drum machine circles in Oakland.
~~Timbre and time machines.~~
Future classic.
67\% of this statistic about music was fabricated.
Swagger you can swig.
A) Video card more important than your dance card? Congratulations. You're hardcore.
Your singing voice needs beer goggles.
A medium-weight jacket (it's chilly when Karl the Fog visits)
Hole Milk
████’s mission has something to do with consistency and the keys to the cosmos, but we can’t quite remember.
non-cookie-cutter cookie cutter.
Keep away from children and landscape painters.
Don't be a stranger.
██████-blue tank (either real or made from those anodized shoes boxes), with the tank treads replaced by ██████ shoe soles. Tank barrel blasts shoelaces.
Made in his image and yours.
The Maximized Maximizer
Make time for your timeline.
Where your dreams become memes.
{Drawing of a drum stick} {drawing of a chicken drum stick}
Sometimes the best present is simply being present.
Get lost in the lyricism of a text message.
We both help people handle tasks with finesse.
Spice is the variety of life, or the life of variety, or something.
You'll find true love at a popular restaurant. AKA dessert. <most popular>
Live the (really) good life.
Exercise daily. █████ hourly. Triumph minutely.
Although comfort food comes in many forms, we have a special clogged place in our heart reserved for the southern stuff
████ trusts you.
"Sorry" won't cut it.
And automate the busy work you’ve amassed.
Lemon balm is a botanical buoy for your body, warding off everything from viruses to vexes. (It has a 94\% success rate against bad vibes.)
Don't just come to San Francisco. Come to life here.
Watch their eyes light up. Then light up.
Raise the youth.
[thanksgiving] A turkey wearing an apron garnishes a human head with a sprig of parsley. It’s payday. Happy Thanksgetting. **It’s payday. Now we’re cooking.
Keep away from children and mansplainers.
Wait for your date, not a table.
Have another one, later. With the cooks.
What should matter is the food. And the food here matters.
Laraaji gets celestial without leaving home
██████ ███████████: Our plugins have free trials. The payment plans have a pause button. We just want you to be happy and make music.
(You'll need a ████████ account to enter. Sorry, Tony.)
Fill up on gnocchi theory and actual gnocchi.
The ███ 2 on a poker table, people in the background are out of focus, but clearly enjoying themselves.
Introducing ███. A frame that changes your frame of mind.
Connect with the corner-shop owners, the armchair historians, the new-age anarchists, the morning runners, and the midnight runners-of-things.
The beautiful wooden planter box is designed to impress even the most critical mother-in-law.
█████’s wavetables aren’t static. They’re a sandbox you can make your own.
Hunger will lead to a delicious discovery. AKA a cheeseburger.
Goal: be the Michael Jordan of cleaning
Watch a baby fall asleep on a roller coaster.
██████████ uses a delicate combination of science and sorcery to find the ██████, trends, and accounts you’ll like, even if your interests change.
SIGN UP FOR MEH.
A musical machine for human expression.
4 Filters for Getting Freq-y
9am ‘til donuts are sold out.
At █████████, we believe that good food can enhance these moments. (If not, then any kind of wine can.)
Mitch Hedburg times a billion.
90-second onboarding. We shouldn't need ads.
OK, we flagged it.
Remorse with rewards. Righting wrongs never felt so right.
Higher learning.
Things have changed. These days, books are bound only by your imagination.
Time is elastic, but your waistband isn’t.
Keep away from children and food-fight instigators.
Valentine's Day is just 2 weeks away. Book now, cuddle later.
Run payroll while you're on your morning run. It'll all workout.
With Dreadful Ease
If the song sounds good in the wagon, it’ll sound good anywhere.
Gold Mettle
████████ isn’t like that friend who ratted you out to your mom for skipping Biology.
Your mom’s boyfriend drinks it.
Snapperjack Service (a play on "crackerjack" and probably too much of a reach)
Brand: new. ████████.com
Dirt for every band.
"Make a good ad" they said, but we're admins. (Sorry.)
Master mastering.
███████ the right people for the job, then find something else to do with your time.
Try or don’t. Either way, this billboard will still be here.
The █████████ design team’s most-used food emojis, from first to worst: {pizza}, {taco}, {ramen}, {donuts}, {sushi}, {eggplant}.
Don't visit San Francisco. Live here.
██████ ███████████ is the real deal. No weirdness. Just premium plugins and weird sounds.
Square Photo Canvas: Take a lesson from Dad: it’s hip to be square. 12x12. As low as $44.99.
Encounter culture.
Pause anytime. No catch. (We just want you to be happy.)
His experience helped, sure, but mostly it was Teddy Roosevelt.
But usually in other situations, like tail-gate parties, outdoor operas, casino parking lot bake-offs, forbidden weddings, or just some strangers’ family picnic, you want a tumbler.
Like using kelp or seaweed when we're showing people taking ███ on aquatic adventures.
Merry Cold Weather! Enjoy this non-denominational greeting card. It applies to all holidays falling between November and February, without taking a religious or secular stance. Display it on your mantle or whatever. Mazel tov.
Bitcrusher. Distortion. Reverb. Delay. Flanger. Surpriser.
Visitors unwelcome.
Unhealthy tweeters
like a grapefruit that speaks fluent peach.
Want free books for a year? Come to our comp tomorrow at Mall of the Emirates, 4pm. If you don't win, the free donuts will numb the pain.
B2B all you can B2B.
The road will be paved but not flat.
Introducing ███. It isn't the size of your wall. It's how you use it.
If your need for dancing outweighs your need for personal space, high-step to this spot and shake it. That way, when somebody asks you where you spent your evening, you can say, "I was letting loose in the Makeout Room."
████ loves nature. We’d help a tree cross the street:
Save-the-world fizzy water
Awaken your wall.
Your biggest asset is your ass. Just kidding, it's water.
And raises if you’re crazy.
Good things ahead (Keep your distance from others) One Way.
When: 22 Nov, 7-10 PM. Where: Broadsheet Restaurant. Who: You.
██████ ██████ has more sounds than New York City. But not more smells.
Keep away from children and magical creatures.
Q: What does a hot restaurant and the Boston Marathon have in common?
Our certified guides can help you prepare for and process psychedelic experiences so that everything is illuminated.
Psychedelics got you down? Call 1-833-2████████ for 24 7 interdimensional support.
12 Days of Chrysanthe-mas
Baaaad attitude.
Surf's Uploaded [LOCAL]
Turn off any network-monitoring :satellite: or anti-virus :syringe: apps that may be blocking ██████. Big Brother can wait to hear your music like everyone else.
The story of the world.
Never wake a Sheep walker.
Your ████████ Heart (I know, I know)
Mintitation
This Earth Day we remind you that your ████ bottle is 100\% recyclable. The planet is not.
Headline: You watch the ball drop every year.
Blue & Green Stripes* - These stripes are flattering on any Dad. Displays two photos. _$1.95
We have smart rules for everything. Even this ad.
When life gives you lemons, send them to us.
Kink in Your Plans
Seltzery cider with electrolytes inside ‘er.
Finally. The spongy answer to the question, "What makes you happy?"
A launch pad for products. Next up: something shiny.
It comes in handy.
Know the do-it-yourself solution for winning free massages and delicious snacks? "Like" us on ████████. (It's easier than fixing a wobbly table.)
- Every father has his day.
Get full access to the largest sound library in the world. 1 month free trial, then $7.99 month. No traps. (Just trap drums.)
The moving museum.
Congratulorious fabulations!
After the close of the entry period (see above, skimmer) we'll randomly draw 20 entrant names from a huge hat or something.
A splash of color on a blank wall is a stone thrown into still water—the ripples reaching unknown shores.
“Dad likes art featuring subjects that grab him, even if it’s for help with homework or fixing their car’s transmission.”
Whether they've lived here 2 years or 25, people in the Mission have strong opinions on where to get the best burrito, when to catch the liveliest live music, and how to dress down when they turn up.
It's a place where tourists snap the same picture of the same bridge, their bellies full of the same supermarket sourdough.
Change the look, the logo, and the domain to suit your own sauce. Boss!
The Greatest Outdoors
A place where people can develop skills and nurture new opportunities.
Remember to blink.
Convince data dashboard team that "data dashboard" is a horrible, misleading name
Double-dipped.
Celebrate our newest creation with our newest creation.
24 7 peer support for psychedelic experiences. Call or text when you’re in an existential prism.
Automate payroll. Without the manual.
Why does typing emails make us sweat so much? This is one of the great office mysteries.
███ ████████ draws symbols, pictures, and stories. Then he draws a paycheck.
Wind down your adventure on the Sycamore’s back patio with a strong “dessert” beer, and join in a game of trivia if you suddenly feel like you have all the answers.
Made from all-natural ingredients and subtly scented with lavender, this is one candle you'll want to burn at both ends. (Sorry, it's not designed for that.)
Big help with the little one.
Grow from 1 to 1,000 employees. Or stop at 568 or whatever.
A hammock swings slowly between two palm trees in front of an ocean, the sun setting. Sea gulls circle lazily above. We cut to the hammock from a different angle, and we can see it’s filled with stacks of cash in the shape of a human.
Welcome to the team.
You don’t need to get to know us for us to get to know you
We’re here to help people make those moments (and maybe some good music, too.)
Discover over 450 German restaurants and biergartens on tap. Book a table sturdy enough for your stein.
Be in the in-crowd. Follow some cultivators of coolness on ███████.
Hold on. Arguing over band names.
You're the baste.
How to mix and master the tracks of your tears.
Can you teach me how to Dougie? Those who can, Dougie. Those who can't, teach.
The appliance for art.
Invent a family-tension diffuser
"Work Automation Platform" would be a bad game but it's a good business.
Start off your evening at Tacorgasmico for some tantalizing Mexican cuisine, then head over to Beau for a drink or three.
Hold on. Setting phasers to phase.
You don’t have to know your tables to reserve one.
our feet just float right.
You’re more attractive from afar
Know you'll have a place at the place. Discover and book a table at {restaurant name}, or at dozens of other incredible {Italian} restaurants.
12 Ways to Gift-ness
Punch clocks, not people.
A 3-course meal served with smooth conversation.
Payrollius automatus
Direct Messages no longer have a 140-character limit. Fly, little bird. Be free.
Satellite Subscribe
“Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.”
This bottle contains the power of more than 3 whole pounds of fresh-plucked nature.
Text responsibly.
Return to land with your newfound sea legs.
A safety net won't keep you warm.
So close to Kuala Lumpur, you can taste it.
The Thirty Dozen
Rainbow crosswalks, naked neighborhood fixtures, heartbreaking history, midnight movie sing-a-longs
I taught my dog to growl every time she hears Drake.
Meet ██████'s Mom
Read reviews, see photos from diners, and hook up with the dish of your dreams. Download the app. [Use that mouth.]
TITLECARD: This land was made for ████████.
Goddesses have gears.
Be aware of where the camera is pointing. Some rooms allow you to move the camera. (Which is the very definition of luxury.)
[Image: 3 lines of cocaine, arranged neatly on a mirror.] Skip the lines.
Not all relationships get better with time. But this one does.
Big City, Small Town
██████ can be used at home, on a private jet, in the back seat of a limo, in line at the DMV, or anywhere you need to make music.
Daddy's Little: Sadly, Dad can't just play with his kids all day. Give him something to hold when he misses your hugs.
Simon Goetz lives in a shoe. When you live in a shoe for long enough, everything starts to smell like feet. Even your hands.
Eat dinner before 9 PM.
Rhymes with bitter!
Horticultured
Optical allusions.
A clean break.
Prime primed, beer steined.
Psychedelic session practice with no pressure.
Morning Stand-Up Furniture
Identify and fix humbugs
It has quickly become one of our favourite places to eat our blues away.
Be John Malkovich. Or anybody else.
You'll eat <cuisine> so good, you'll almost start a food blog.
Eyelids not recommended.
Prearranged transportation will sweep you away to the rest of the tour, which will cover every tipsy facet of Sonoma beer history.
A restaurant wants to wait on you, not wait for you.
Bitcrusher. Distortion. Reverb. Delay. Flanger. Thriller.
Our words were not empty, like yours: for show.
Fugu on a fish-and-chips budget.
Poster: Make Dad a custom motivational poster, great for those times when he doesn’t feel like doing the dishes. As low as $6.99.
You’ll get an unforgettable four-course meal, exemplary service, and the urge to take photos of your food.
Before you take off, leave your email. [ ]
How to enjoy ████: 1. Open can 2. Place to lips 3. Tilt bottom to sky 4. Gulp goodness 5. Repeat until happy
We might suss out an engineering problem over a punishing game of ping pong, or devise a new design strategy using potato chips.
████ knows there's nothing wetter.
The need for public art is fundamental. Its funding remains anything but.
Save the bone for you-know-who.
Go home with a mason jar full of the strong stuff, bootlegged by you.
Make room, make room.
Save like crazy.
Find a table from anywhere. Even here.
Donut Heist
We use every part of the animal. You use every part of the napkin.
Submit your home remedy, quirky quick fix, or spitballed solution here.
Tour the birthplace of mountain biking on a mountain bike.
███████ uses nomenclature that's native to our product. Learn the lingo to better understand how ███████ works.
(That’s almost like keys to Wonka’s factory.) Chocolate included, because we're not animals.
Hard seltzer with electrolytes, because you’re an adult.
Explore Sonoma vineyards in a vintage van.
who sweat our tri-stripes.
Make them look. Personalize your profile to attract more eyes.
██████ ██████. Get exclusive samples from _____ and ____. It’s almost like a collab.
Counter Culture Kit
Cell phone owners who see the battery bar as half empty don't get called as much as the people who see the battery bar as half full.
The key to the city.
A brand apart. A brand, a part.
Deb wants kids, but I don't know how I can bring children into a world this cold.
Attitudes about herbal consumption have evolved. It's time our herbal consumption did, too.
Crudo - The crudo he made sat in the back of his fridge until he remembered it was there. By then it was a science experiment.
There are always exceptions, of course. Headlines can demand some flexible (and sometimes topical) wordplay, and social copy is so ephemeral that the use of ephemeral language is lit.
Saturday Night Feather
We treat secrets like holiday fudge: we don't share.
Nothing is carved into stone. That's the old publishing model.
Tell Santa you're mad as heck and you're not going to take this anymore.
We don’t hire people who mirror our culture. We hire people who add to it.
See the most mural'ed city in America the way Fnnch does: through a haze of aerosol and fog. Hang out with the street artists and marker maestros who are constantly reinventing the visual language of the San Francisco.
Follow a religion, without believing it.
Please enjoy imaginatively.
It's a cocktail party, but it should be a political party.
3 hours and 12 minutes of struggle contained in a █████.
Hi-hats off to you.
Her food tasted like my mom’s, and her jokes were as bad as my dad's.
Well, no matter what. The restaurant's a victim, too. They've lost money, made other patrons wait.... (shudders) It really chills you to your core.
Design Christmas lights that automatically biodegrade on December 26th
24 7 psychedelic support. For when 5 dimensions is too many.
It’s polite to stare.
Sometimes you have a space that needs some finishing touches, like complementary furniture, art, and other signs of human life. We can do that.
We don't use cartoons to explain things.
Hold on. Buttering drum rolls.
Rosemary improves circulation, helps headaches, acts as an anti-inflamatory, and genuinely seems to care.
You've been a vegetarian three times. You'll try a fourth.
Clear the air.
Swap your better half.
Washroom Wonder Kit
Cultivate a green house.
Whoa, this is weird.
Whether you’re new to psychedelics or you’ve already unlocked your inner cosmos, ████████ can help ensure your trips have better outcomes.
There's no time like the present for live video.
███████’s circuit-accurate recreation of the V76 sounds great on everything, whether it be rock, rap, R&B, doom metal, some soundcloud-born subgenre, or silence.
Oui, merci.
Meet your maker.
See SF’s wildlife from the safety of a 1988 Land Cruiser.
Baby changing table - lobster meal with bib
This silver box by Grampian was so full of space and celestial sounds that some might wonder if it didn’t also contain the stuff inside stars. Used and abused by everyone from Lee Scratch Perry to your Uncle Lee
Space-modulated delays. For days.
Image: Maybe it’ll make Monday a little less painful.
Suzy got a promotion. HR got to update the paperwork.
The Golden Grill
Another reason to avoid slang, in case you need one: it's often originally associated with a particular culture, and appropriating it for the purpose of corporate copy will almost always sound false. Don't do it, bb.
Marketing support that’s actually supportive.
The dinnertime DJ was expertly mixing Southern rap with field recordings of traditional Kodo drums while we ate large bowls of the best ramen we've had outside Osaka.
What's your desk address? Need it for HR.
Food for your MPC.
No more excuses.
your 9-to-5 + your 5-to-9
Tape some nickels to the E and G strings of that decaying Steinway in Booky’s basement so that they thsszzz.
Increase your powers with fragrant flowers.
Post Title** @World Hello
[general] Hands open a laptop and a ████████-yellow balloon rises out. The hands try to push the balloon back into the laptop, but it’s like trying to pack something into an overstuffed suitcase. **It’s payday. Why wait to celebrate?
Restaurants Against Reservation Neglect
Automatically update everything at once: Proxy, Salesforce, G Suite, Slack, Office, and like 500 more apps we're forgetting rn.
DRINK A LEMON GROVE
DM in the AM, DM in the PM!
Pale War Pamphlets and posters, reminiscent of the McCarthy era in graphics and tone. "Beware the human. She feeds her children sugar-coated lies." and "Humans stink. If You Smell Something, Say Something."
████ + dishwasher \= BFF
Drinking is superior to thinking. Wait.
Share your Snack
A boy walks past his older brother leaving their bedroom, a grin on his face. The boy opens the door to find his piggy bank labeled “BITCOIN” broken on the floor.
You'll order the chicken. Again. (32) ____ tables
Hang out with Omar, a chef-turned-comicbook-hero, who will give you his now-legendary taco tour, and you'll discover the difference between a fresh tortilla and a tortilla that's fresh out of the fridge.
Vector Vector
Some cultures use hollowed out gourds as canteens. Well, that's one way to squash thirst.
Who whips cream to industrial crunkcore? (We know you do)
You can’t force the fun, but you can set the traveler up for whimsy by using conversational language, peppered with humor and wordplay.
Use protection.
The Bad Bagel
Hold on. Gathering feedback.
Encourage exploration through innovation, inspiration, and indica.
Reinvent the wall.
Almost better than a day off.
Video on ███████ is brand new, but people are already showing the world from fresh angles. What's your best take?
Your coldest friend. Your coldest companion.
We should all be bringing our own cups. It’s not hard.
Taste every ingredient in your cooking. (Don’t taste every ingredient while you’re cooking.)
You’re a gift.
Sonoma’s Biodynamic Tractor-Pull Vineyard Adventure
5x7 Soft Paper Cover** Fill this sturdy soft-covered album with pics of you and your sibling doing chores. It's the only way Dad will believe it. _starting at $11.99
Werthwhile Breaks uncovers unconventional percussion
Square Leather Key Chain : Unlock Dad’s heard with this supple leather key chain, adorned with your favorite image. As low as $19.99.
It’s Payday. Cue the fireworks.
Gifts, and one to grow on.
We’ve been praised by Forbes, Rolling Stone, Mashable, your close friend, and her CEO.
Be in good company.
Heat seekers.
Home cooking is good, but not this good.
Car found a great diner for us to stop at for lunch. They have a pumpkin pie that tastes just like Gramma's. Checking the kitchen for relatives.
████████ is serious software for serious work because silly software for serious work has already been done.
All my Tinder, Bumble, and Happn matches. I feel guilty because I haven't written most of them since we were matched, and having dinner with all of them at once would eliminate most of the items on my to-do list.
Dead Ringer understands this, and turns the algebra of appetite into culinary calculus.
Personal introductions to anywhere, made by the people who live there.
Making hangovers respectable.
Lemon balm is a botanical buoy for your body, warding off everything from viruses to vexing vibes. (Your exes aren’t around, so it’s effective.)
Go for that auditorium-with-moving-walls effect. You know, a sonic Cuckoo’s Nest.
It is with great jubilation that we invite you to party4good, ███████'s official Ad Week cocktail bash, benefiting Charity: Water. There will be visuals and vices!
Make your sentences one hundred
Looky looky who got touchy-feely.
We focus on the big picture, down to the pixel.
Be a cellphone quarterback.
Direct Messages no longer have 140-character limits. Even if you still have yours.
Tablecloths and Salad Forks
A trapeze artist swings through the air, high above a crowd. She reaches forward and grasps for her partner's hands, but she only catches air. IMAGE FREEZES.
Get exclusive sounds made by the world’s most talented producers (other than you, of course).
The private side of ███████ [ Send a Direct Message ]
"The best book is the one you have with you." Didn't somebody say that? If not, we did.
You’re having an out-of-body experience. Put us on speakerphone.
Run completely on star power.
No walk in the national park.
We only ping you when it's imperative. Notifications are clear and concise for at-a-glance reading. No unnecessary ellipses….
Body: We're giving a ███████ laptop away every day. Your kids simply need to forget everything you taught them about self-respect.
Discover the best public art around the city, from political murals put up with permission to illegal scratch tags with inventive vowel shapes. Meet a roster of colorful artists and convince them you're not a cop.
Perfect the art of art.
Designers and forest nymphs like us because we’re free.
███ IS UP FOR ANYTHING
We'd like to see IT.
Safety first, every second.
You should mark this milestone by making some music.
Hold on. Tuning tympani.
Respect the hustle – Making music is hard. We never imply ease or simplicity when explaining features and products. We acknowledge and empathize with the time and effort our audience puts in.
"Beware the snowboarder. He wears goggles to hide his adrenalin-addled eyes."
Summer in Portland is risky business, and everybody's Tom Cruise.
No. We’ve got your back.
If you like bitters, it’s better.
Is it magic? No, it's technology.
Puts parents on the same page.
The nostalgic futurists.
Save it to your contacts. We don’t mean your eyes.
Every dollar helps fight loneliness, existential dread, and talking dragons named Judith.
Keep away from children and people with "namaste" tattoos.
A series of jumbled restaurant moments. Waiters tripping over a diner's leg, a cook looking down to see his souffle has fallen, a chef cutting the tip of his finger with a knife.
Subhead: That's 50 prints for each eye!
Stocking full of coal? Trade that naughty in for something nice.
Headline: ████████ won’t cure your New Year’s hangover, but it does eliminate the busywork brought on my office changes.
Can buy me love.
Premium Insulation, rugged durability, and a bottle opener all packed into a beautiful 16oz cup that would make MacGyver say cheers.
Impossible to outgrow █████? But you did.
The prized yuzu's flavor is tart and fragrant, with a hint of honey, like a grapefruit that dreamed of being a peach.
When you come to New York, you could stay in Times Square, eat "tourist bagels", and do whatever is highlighted in the guidebooks.
The man takes a cable from a WiFi router and plugs it into the modified piggy bank. It begins to hum and throw out sparks.
Act casual. You will soon eat at a casual restaurant.
You’re seeing red.
Keep some 350-lb football players in your back pocket.
5 Pianos & Keyboards: The keys to the kingdom
Meet up with Robert, a historian and LGBT activist, and watch the Giants game at a gay sports bar with his friends.
Seams legit.
Wear a mask like you give a damn
Mother’s Lemon Helper
B & W - Touch of Evil, Stark, Grayson, Gray Matters, Gray Area, Chess
Bona fide flavor rodeo.
Everybody knows you love your cat, Whiskers
Posthaste Permits
███████ is for everyone. Even your parents.
In which we lovingly examine the spellbinding sounds in your favorite tracks.
Oscar at the Oscars (EVENTS)
See what you'll see.
Before pioneer arctic explorer Sir Benneton Childers pushed off for his infamous expedition of 1844, in which forty-seven men were stranded by sea ice for 16 months before they turned to cannibalism for survival, he told his wife, Cherie, "Be sure to leave your email so I can keep you abreast of any breakthroughs."
They'll be (very) hungry.
Don’t worry if you’ve never been bouldering: you’ll get basic lessons and tips for the best ways to fall, spot, and finish. Burritos and aqua frescas to follow.
WE PAT OURSELVES ON THE BACK IN 5 4.
Where photos floor.
May spawn evil twin.
Mountains Are Monsters
Don't count white-paint lane dividers while you're driving. Highway hypnosis is swift and brutal.
Rub elbows with professional elbow-rubbers.
24 7 psychedelic support. Always there for you, even when your plug isn’t.
Keep away from children and people with assymetrical haircuts.
Basil relaxes, renews, restores, regulates, and makes you immune to alliteration.
It's in your nature. Well, it will be.
When your spirit animal is a sloth.
Say a lot by a saying a little.
Valentine's Day is coming! Only 4 days left! Exclamation point!
Or you can stay with Leo, the owner of Leo's Perfect Pizza Pies in Bensonhurst, who knows the best place for cannoli. (It's not in Little Italy.)
"Freeze turkey! It keeps it from spoiling."
█████ ██ ████, YOU'LL HOPE IT PROPOSES.
You are where you eat. Be special.
Don't have reservations about your reservations.
Earn your stripes.
But you’d hire a law firm to call your mom.
Merching Orders
Be David Blain.
Make the match.
Back & Forth & Back Again
or we’d have to find other work.
Bring the Away team home
Perfect portable vapor for an imperfect world.
Business-casual low-fives,
Explorations into the minutiae that magnifies our music.
Frosting doesn’t freeze very well, considering.
Hold on. Dialing in decibels and calibrating circuits.
Naturally nice on nature
Hunt and gather domain names quickly. Use a custom URL with your favorite web services, such as Tumblr, Blogger, Wordpress, and ██████████. Keep your personal info private. Impress your friends, if you have any.
Enjoy frustration? Then sit close to the kitchen.
Play here. Life is a game and it's your turn.
A bunch. Tell me everything about everything.
Hold on. Summoning dark forces.
D) Think of exercise as Photoshop IRL? Congratulations. You're hardcore.
Franky Zepata imagined it too.
LOCAVORACIOUSNESS
The Kind Cleanse
Raymond was there when the wall came down. [Animated GIF of the Berlin Wall coming down. ███████ later, Raymond hops across the threshold.]
Art from the world wide web. Color from the whole wide world.
Hey. Have you see Bob and Mimi?
A traditional Belgian dubbel that challenges tradition.
A Tree Grows In Richmond
Use the binoculars in your kayak, re-up with some snacks, and warm up with a thermos full of Blue Bottle coffee (your kayak has convenient cup holders) while you document everything with a GoPro.
[Valentine's Day February] A pink envelope with "BE FINE" written in script opens up and hearts and rose petals spill out along with a note reading: **It's payday. You'll be fine.
Use modern technology to triangulate the location of your desk. Enter the results here.
He’ll feed you morsels of info and food along the way.
The mouth of radness.
Any sound you want. Many sounds you won’t.
Grow from 1 to 1000 people in your living room.
electric orange juice
Make an educated guest.
We spit that shell game,
Plenty of 808. Even some heartbreak.
Endings that beget beginnings
What's the difference between public and private? Your friendship. [ Send a Direct Message ]
Explore the world with your feet up.
Indoor gardening necessities for thumbs of all colors.
Circular Table of Life
The opposite of an HR violation.
[Scientist in a lab coat.] Forever Yung.
Grow some inner zen indoors and say aloe to tranquility.
Online banking < ██████
We noticed that you’re a longtime ██████ enthusiast. That’s not nothing.
Get those private eyes
Glazed & Infused
Which of these ingredients, if added to the others, would be considered the most "innovative"? A) Butter B) Onions C) Garlic D) Microchips
It's that magical feeling when you're offered a seat by the fire.
Discuss the seasoning of carpaccio and cast-iron, and pontificate on the politics of sourdough at their supper table.
Sample Magic’s Ultimate FX has magic samples
Shrink-A-Drink
Power plays are hard work. ███████ power naps. Hard.
3. Snapshot Mug (15oz): a medium-size coffee cup wrapped in your images, large enough that Dad won't need his glasses to see that smirk. _starting at $11.99_.
Trust us, it'll be worth it. Even if you have to walk uphill, stomach grumbling.
This is what he did. [Waiting in line for a tourist attraction. Sitting on a bus By himself in a hotel.]
It’s payday. You’re a good egg.
Order it for dinner some time and make a toast to late starts.
This is a duplicate message. This is a duplicate message.
Know a city by knowing the friendliest people in it.
Loops, one-shots, stems. Drums, keys, craziness. Download your desires.
They Know
Instant insight.
No, you’re not imagining things. The App Directory has moved. Find it here.
Abby: Ryan Gosling made Raymond a birthday cake.
Work-data automation. Not enough time to explain.
For something so small, emoji got pretty big.
Introducing ██████ █████. Don't be a tourist. Be you.
Removable bottle opener on base for help opening bottles and making friends.
Visit beautiful Antartica.
You change your password when somebody tweets from your account in Japanese. ████████ changes everything else.
Please dress your face
So easy, you'll make it yours in minutes. Click, click, zoom, zip, done.
This is the most important meal of the year.
Why are you all so attractive?
ineffective ear muffs.
Making music is hard. We never imply ease or simplicity when explaining features and products.
We’re architects, engineers, designers, fabricators, and artists. Some of us are surfers, too.
100 bottles of beer
On September 25th, Sabathia host his first ████████, where he will go face to face with fans, sharing his perspective, offering advice, and answering questions. All proceeds will go to charity. (All foul balls go to people in the stands.)
We’re nearby when everything is too far out.
We do work data automation but we don't talk about it.
Seasoned ticket holders.
Spell out the moniker your mama gave you.
Oh, and don't forget to "Like" us on ████████. (It's almost a hug.)
Bear Hook Permits
Find anything, without having to sift through everything.
Lemon balm is a botanical buoy for your body, warding off everything from viruses to vampires. (With a 100\% success rate against vampires.)
You could come to San Francisco and do what the tourists do, or you can do what San Franciscans do.
Find your voice with ██████████ █. (And many, many others.)
Job benefits include paid vacation and immortality.
██████ ██████ is so quick and simple, it’s like reaching for a familiar instrument.
Our American-made, American steel fences have a GAW zinc coating that makes them long-lasting and appropriate for any size project: from a small business to the Octagon.
████████ manages payroll, benefits, blah and blah. Others do this too but not as good as us. Or all in one place.
The new ████. Kind of like the old ████, but completely different.
██████ ██████: every sound you can imagine, and many you shouldn’t (like cheetah_laser.wav).
“He uses the leaf blower to sweep the kitchen. That’s my dad.”
We'd like to meet with HR.
Way to confront your fears!
Get high and eat burgers.
COPY: Special. Isn't it?
We're sort of big on food, so we're more than a little excited to be part of Charleston's Food & Wine Festival. Stop by and say hi.
Where laughter erupts.
MarchMadness on ███████. Straight and to the points.
PolyTrapwave is for corrupted-disk cosmonauts
Dine like a food critic, without writing a word.
These sounds will be welcome anywhere, from the chill spot to the church potluck to the chart tops.
Coffee is next.
Title: Your kid's pitiful? Good.
We'd let you in with a secret knock if we had the technology.
Put a filter on it, cutoff LFO’d syrup slow until it’s a lonely, stuttering cicada.
Eat the writing on the wall.
Check, please.
So next time you look to the sky, you’ll know our billboard doesn’t lie. We're confident and we're prepared. It's competition—don't be scared. : )
Your poster becomes a coaster.
We clean like it’s our thing
Nothing's not cricket.
Follow every note.
Totally could get you laid.
Snap Judgments
Avoid drum circles. Drum machine circles, too.
12x12 Hardcover: Large and luxurious, even if Dad is not. As low as $44.99.
You raise Max’s corporate card limit so he doesn’t max it out. (████████ changes everything else.)
Includes seven generous tastings. In other words, you’ll be full by the final stop.
Most people could use a hero. Most heroes could use a bath.
Wear in your welcome.
The good kind of smoking.
█████, we loved your cease and desist Your delicate language, so hard to resist. We decided to send our reply in verse And cite that famous amendment first.
███████ now uses a combination of math and magic to recommend accounts you'll adore and ██████ you'll love.
Drinking of you.
Add emoji vs emojis to go style (Singular and plural are both "emoji.")
252 million served!
{Studio photo of Brier's family, but every member of her family is now covered in angora bunnies.}
The gym will be better tomorrow.
Audio on ███████. ██████ for your ears.
More ██████ than the leading brand!
The most important thing to remember is to keep it simple. Just say what you need to say, with a little bit of pepper.
Dry 808 claps. Arias in C minor. 747s landing in the rain. With over 1M sounds and powerful search and discovery tools, you’ll find the right one-shot, loop, or preset for any project.
Extra Thumb
There’s no need to tell us your name. You may give us your real name, a made-up name, or no name at all.
We hire smart people. They didn't write this.
Reflexes are better with fast drums.
If Thievery is wrong, we don't want to be right.
Don't leave it to chants.
The table is just the start...
Good parent thing.
Parents just don't understand.
Includes welcome drink, snack, 2 drinks at neighborhood bars, a sandwich or soup, and a donut or something equally unhealthy.
Serious software because humor is hard to code.
@nswers (available)
You can’t turn in any direction in California without seeing an avocado, and everyone knows that guacamole is an avocado in its perfect state.
Did you know that this term came from cricket? I didn't. It bowled me over. (Also a cricket term.)
The future's present.
Call Tessa (it’s been years)
We created ███ to be superior in both form and function. It couldn’t be beautiful if it didn’t work beautifully.
See all the important info about your infant. Stop worrying so much.
What's Tinder?
The series will launch with sample packs made in collaboration with Machinedrum, Laraaji, Susie Ibarra, and more, and contain one-shots and loops featuring everything from electric zithers and dusty cellos to steel tools and forgotten drum machines.
Our heads are in the cloud. It powers everything we do, connecting authors with readers, learners with teachers, and workers across continents. We work in Python and Scala, Redis and Red Bull. No need to thank us. It's our duty.
Chutzpaw Permits
Printer jam doesn't taste very good.
Touched for the very first time.
A) Bench-press while measuring benchmarks? Congratulations. You're hardcore.
Practice makes poetry.
are {adverb} fast-acting, like an aspirin commercial on fast forward.
Sharks or Jets?
Our lips are gift-wrapped.
Technically, she made your favorite song right here.
Righteous Chicken
The Mind’s We
Movies never get insomnia right, but it’s not their fault. They aren’t long enough. Nights with insomnia are never-ending.
It’s a Tumbler!
Of course, one bite of the Aylesbury Duck Tortellini (porcini, pear, duck sugo) or the Berkshire Suckling Pig (mustardela, apple, date and sherry puree, mustard greens) and you won't care who else is at the table, as long as they stay out of your way.
Computational instruments for creative music.
Missed you elote.
██████ ███████████ is the friend who never gets mad if you forget their birthday. Cancel anytime, no weirdness.
Even if you cancel, you keep everything you download. Forever and ever, amen.
The pecking order.
Because your money isn’t doing shit right now.
This ad is for your admins. Have them call us.
Congrats to the artists who earned Grammy nominations. We enjoy your success in stereo.
Hullabaloo
Bad Gifts Good
(Hey. Chin up. If you're not a winner, you're in good company.)
What do you do if there's a drummer on your porch? You pay him for the pizza.
A bar-mitzvah'ed boy sitting on a chair, which is being raised by a number of hands. All we see is the boy and the arms holding the chair up.
Spring makes us feel solar-powered.
The spaces between the sounds of Jayda G
Voice-modeled effects with an appetite for audio.
Know your boundaries. Play by the rules.
If you spoke to your children the same way you speak to a cop who just pulled you over, or vice versa, life would be harder.
We added superfoods for vitamins, antioxidants, and phytochemicals. We also liked the colors.
The good life is on special.
Headline: They grow up so fast.
We're quite comfortable with working with tight budgets on tighter deadlines to make things comfortable.
Receive bad presents from good people.
Because monotony is under-hated.
Hope we draw your name from our large-but-elegant hat
Upload ETH to your ██████ account. Download cash
Something well-done shouldn't be rare.
emergency urn.
Nectar of the Goods
When your favorite rapper’s soliloquies bob and weave over stuttering hats and throbbing 808s, voice and tone is probably the last thing on your mind.
Feed your frequencies.
Expect legendary delays. Buckets, space, and everything in between.
Snip & Sip
Sign up for your 15 seconds of fame. [ Get ███████ ]
This recreation of the legendary BBD (bucket brigade device) delay not only takes you back-ack-ack to the sounds of the 70s that made it so famous, it also has the same lo-fi sweetness that make it a studio- and stage- staple today.
If It Bumps
The future of fencing should last you until then.
Why are you all so attractive? We do it for you. We adhere to a strict regimen high-intensity interval training, oatmeal baths, and DVR'd daytime TV. Our diet consists primarily of coffee, wheatgrass shots, tacos and lasagna.
A friend will ask you if you're free for a gluten-free dinner.
Somebody who uses ████████ cares about you.
Be careful. Witchy designers can put a hex number on you.
Keep away from children and anyone suspect.
Express yourself. Or just your hunger.
Side quests are better with forgotten ballads.
We were in the book until people stopped reading. Now we're here:
There are millions of samples on ██████ for your million-dollar ideas.
Treat her like a maiden. Eat like a dragon.
███ ████████ starts with a line and ends with their essence.
Go big, but spend wisely
You aren't where you eat.
The moon will hit your eye like a big pizza pie.
Pause or cancel at any time. No weirdness. Just plenty of weird sounds.
Don't just drop in.
backyard music + backyard drinks \= yes, please
Without this free tool, what would our photos capture? Another family in front of a brick wall? Another engagement photo in front of Sherwin-Williams exterior Gray 5?
Whether it's hand-bottled mead or handmade chocolates, the craft and care these artisans take will inspire you.
Good eaters, bad bleaters.
Let Wikipedia’s “random article” button fill an afternoon.
Ignore the sign.
Most San Francisco locals view brunch as the most important meal of the day. See just how seriously they take it, but without standing in line for two hours.
Find a restaurant that's good for groups. Your in-laws are coming.
May this bottle hydrate your dreams.
Explore 9 signal configurations for everything from subtle saturation to audio apocalypse.
Life with a different frame.
Keep your eyes on the surprise.
Merry ¯\_(ツ)_ ¯
BELLY: UP
Can innovation and tradition coexist? Explain. A) Yes B) No C) This is a trick question
We call it "workplace automation".
Liver gains.
For 32 days, the whole world came together. It could only happen in one place.
Lobster for the cost of shrimp.
Direct your next █████.
The methods and madness of making good music.
Streets Is Watching
Timbre and time machines.
Protect your head.
If music fueled cars, a mid-size sedan would get 45 miles to the mixtape.
Traverse tunnels, alleys, and abandoned buildings with artists. Learn how to see the spaces between spaces, and the difference between a good wall and a safe wall.
When Jonathan was old enough to cultivate a neck beard, he landed a job as an interaction designer in the Mission District. He cut his teeth by coding weird websites for candy.
Telly, vision. [ Join in ] (UK ONLY)
██████ ███████████: premium plugins with full product support and a reasonable payment plan. No bugs, just bugging out.
Supper and a Show
* We * like * bullet * points.
Nearly Nirvana
You eat food every day. Don't eat everyday food.
Swipe your tickets in just a few taps with the ████████ app. (This message will not detonate.)
Harder Fastener
Secret Donut Society
When you're done at Zeitgeist (or when they're done with you), weave down Valencia and seek out the hidden speakeasy in the belly of Dalva, guaranteed to be the first thing anyone mentions anytime the bar enters the conversation.
A family gathered around a table to celebrate an old Pug sitting at the end, gray with age and wearing a birthday hat. It's the only creature pictured who doesn't look excited.
Properly haze John
(Some people like meat and potatoes, some kale.)
Try volleyball over cubicle walls. SPIKE.
Then one night it happened. The perfect ”fusillo”.
Roughing it has never been rougher.
Daring dining. Conservative pricing.
Easel does it.
When RoRo listens to your track over the weekend, ignore everything he says. He’s only heated because of the Raiders. Later, realize he was right about the hi-hat.
Do dirty things to tracks.
███████ slays the darkness with glowing screens.
Don’t Be Sour
We’ve changed our logo and luster to represent the ██████ we’ve become
Known for its lively service and delicate dumplings, this neighborhood favorite is a necessary stop. Everything is worth trying, but the xiao lung bao and the sugar egg puff are both dishes worthy of sonnets.
Isn't it time you tested yourself?
Chef pulling a smoking halibut from the oven. It’s now just a charred lump that’s vaguely fish-shaped.
CLOSEUP of a finger tapping a phone screen. Sinister music plays behind it. Violins with a vendetta.
Handcrafted communications services for retail and lifestyle brands. Internal-broadcasting extroverts.
We stand with standing desks.
Motown Strings gets emotional
As Simple as a 4-on-the-floor Kick
Introducing the first DAW on RTO. No excuses.
Instantly add or remove employees to all your base.
We understand that it’s difficult to come up with project ideas, so we’ve gifted you a few.
You’ll finish this neighborhood extravaganza with a choose-your-own Mission treat: an ice coffee from Blue Bottle or a cone from Humphry Slocombe ice cream. Either way, you’ll choose wisely.
Off-the-menu. On point.
Keep away from children and musical theater.
Pulled myself from the Getting Started video (I'm no longer needed)
Smoke and mirrors, minus the mirrors.
Work shouldn’t work you over
Title: High school bytes.
██████ ██████. Don’t decide now. Decide after you’ve tried it.
It has a minimum breaking point of 200,000 PSI, which means that the only thing you'll be breaking is records. (If you grow the world's biggest anything on our trellis wire, please call us.)
Actually, it's many. ██████ is rolling out a pilot program of unforgettable trips in SF, curated and hosted by the locals who know the city best.
The repetition of the phrase “for forward” propels you right into “music”. Feels good phonetically.
build a face-eating robot
It's ███████'s birthday! Here's to you, because your ██████ are the frosting on our cake. (Have a piece.)
Try ███████. We're the only ones not watching you. [ Get ███████ ]
Crying is healthy, even in baseball.
Everything but your desk
You must enter your current password to save changes. Don't roll your eyes, it's for security purposes and stuff.
I bought some musical chairs but they keep disappearing.
Chops for a chopped price.
Have the regular
Every action results in an unequal and opposite action-packed computer, a pile of cash, and the ability to temporarily ignore physics.
Get that promotion.
Milk & Lookies
You could call it "fizzy, free-range fruit water" or "the pinnacle of beverage ingenuity" but both are a mouthful. Friends call it ████.
Make your business bloom perennially.
Join the Pacific Ocean's 11. You know what you want from a trip to Hawaii's 9th Island: Las Vegas. No matter what your reasons for going, everybody craves the same thing: the town on a string.
We tell everybody our Green Milk is scrumptious, wholesome, life-affirming, and full of vitamins and nutrients, but most people just hear "Green Milk" and start drinking. We're not complaining.
Yes, you can make reservations for fish and chips. [ Book a table ]
Synthesthesia.
Cilantro thinks you taste like soap.
Foster your inner nature.
Hold on. Recording room noise.
comPACKable: ████ is no space invader. Designed to lock into a portable position, this bottle is best friends with your backpack. Even if it’s one of those tiny ones that are no longer in style.
Every bird gets the worm.
BOLD - More boisterous with copy. We have swagger. I’m here, I use ███. What’s the problem?
Up for whatever.
Forget the tea party, Alice could have probably used some bacon, eggs, and a tall glass of fresh-squeezed oranges.
We also want somebody who can do that noodle-through-the-nose thing without the noodle breaking.
The path to guided enlightenment is shorter than you might expect:
Drink with them at their bar. Throw darts with them and their best friends.
All our friends are work friends.
Braised by wolves.
A More Exciting Exciter
You’re special. Dine like it.
If I could play any instrument better than anyone in the world, I would play the computer.
Stop pretending your phone was designed for phone calls.
Make new friends, try on new colors, and leave with new perspectives.
Everyone loves our flavors. Even sharks.
A new frame of mind.
It’s spectacular on vocals, and unbelievable on everything else.
there’s a little something for everyone
Surprisingly Open
Try this at home.
The mechanics of strings cheese still perplex us.
Life's mint jelly.
Put some pepper in your patches with any combination of the ten built-in effects.
Meet the love of your life.
What's happening now. (Though not a CTA like the option above, still just as strong and somehow more compelling. Both a description and a question, depending on how it's read. Only works with a period. A question mark makes it annoying.)
Vocal favorite.
The baby monitor's big brother.
It’s half Big Night, half Rambo
Find rhythms in everything.
It seems counterintuitive that we'd be so thirsty after a long night of drinking.
Small & Response
Don’t write about other ███████████ programs.
But “brand” is squishy.
On our end, it’s complex math, algorithm adjustments and licensing deals. On your end, it’s a search bar.
Have an impressive background.
It's the friend you trust to give you an honest opinion of something, including that song you just cobbled together with those horrible horn stabs.
If you █████ it, he will come.
Morsels in Melbourne.
"I'm a photojournalist. My dog and my ███ 3 go everywhere with me. Both draw plenty of fascinating people."
"I write code for both ends. A both-ender, if you will."
A good restaurant shouldn't be as hard to get into as a porn movie plot.
Gimme Supply
Get detailed recommendations beforehand, from inner-journey "packing lists" to tips for establishing a nurturing "set and setting."
Body: Creating a photo book is easy, even if they feature activities that aren't. Detail the tough training and dizzying victories in a snap.
Dogs can only see the color awesome.
SET IT AND DON'T FORGET IT
Found out that I like mountains. Unless I have to climb them.
Coffee & Cigarettes
Coffee & Not Coffee
Live as others do.
Biggie or Tupac? Trick question. They're one and the same. How old do you think we are?
Suddenly, the 50-yard-line is the most boring place to be.
He still can't grow a mustache.
Pass to the left.
Strength in numbers. 140
Bottle liquids, not emotions.
All copy, from the language of the initial booking flow to the short sentences that make up itinerary blurbs, should feel like it was written by Walt Whitman.
You are where you eat.
Sweaty characters. 140
The Alta exhibits artwork from Creative Growth, a visual arts center in Oakland. You’ll want to exhibit your food, too.
The smart garden for your dumb plants.
@Dylan: [posts pic of two bunnies] Come get 'em.
█████’s filters are a great deal of what gives it flavor. With flangers, phasers, filters that can all key-track to notes, dual setups for mixing and morphing between filters, and a dirty sounding LPF, the possibilities are unfiltered.
Steam punks put the "log" in "technology."
{The world watches as Bart breathes his last breaths.} See the whole story.
Make incredible kicks with ████████, the kick drum generator that uses both samples and synthesis to get that boom. Free trail. Then $5.99 month until it's paid. Thick kicks, no catch.
No photos spoiled, no videos sullied. The whole lot stays large and lovely.
Hang out with Omar, a chef-turned-comicbook-hero, who will give you his now-legendary taco tour, and discover the difference between a fresh tortilla and a tortilla that's fresh out of the fridge.
To get a sample of things to come, dig through the ██████ of NYC (a collaboration with Red Bull), the Gamelan Ensemble, and the ██████ of Rwanda.
Over & Over Sharing
Fix your meals.
Share Bieber's █████ with your bro. The whole world won't know. [ Send a Direct Message ]
Everyone knows that spicy deli meats are the most effective cure for what ails you, as long as that cure is hunger. Treat yourself to a soppressata-and-fresh-mozzarella sandwich at this friendly Italian deli, and don't forget to chew.
███████ is for people dedicated to news.
Learn to make liqueurs in this head-lightening class.
Internet art deserves a frame.
You are what you eat. Be special.
Some lines are bad for you.
United by what makes us different.
Talk to your bae. Her boyfriend won't know. [ Send a Direct Message ]
Don’t give restaurants the finger. Give them the tap.
storage container for heirloom confetti.
Where eagles dare.
████ bottles are shark-proof. Be happy you weren't there for the testing.
Those headphones look great on you!
We understand our demographics. In Candyland we sell ████ bottles prepackaged with sugar pegacorns, rainbows, and elf honey.
Feel everything more with ███████, except the umpire's bad calls.
OMG. Shouldn’t you guys be working?
We're office cool, not cool cool.
We kept saying deeply insightful things like, "Mmmmmm" and "Wow."
Make arrangements to see Nanette's San Francisco, with her same focus on food. Meet an incredible community of food photographers, stylists, and enthusiasts, and check out the things they eat, 'gram, and tweet.
Save the best for last call.
We can't go back to the drawing board, because we never left.
"Like" posts by people you don't like.
"All-in-one HR software" is a lie.
are {adverb} fast-acting, like Juliet when she found Romeo.
███████ brings warmth to orphaned headlines.
Enjoy boredom? Then get married.
Don't hold it in.
This is what a Grammy nominee looks like.
Download your dollars to ██████ and watch your money grow with our new instant interest ticker. It's a real-time progress bar for your pesos.
You could come to New York and do what tourists do, or you can do what New Yorkers do.
Suzy lost her corporate card. HR lost their minds.
Your heart, like this bottle, is shatter-proof.
It encourages mindfulness and a sense of security, plus it's pretty enough for the prettiest pretty princess.
"Book a flight on ████████ ████████ for peanuts."
Labyrinths, Caves, and Baths
Army of Won (INTERESTS)
Congrats, {username}. You’ve paid off █████ on the ██████ ███████████ plan. No take-backs.
- Does your father savor sports? Fill his book with photos of grass stains, pick-up games, and moments caught while playing catch.
We work well together, because we play well together. (When you love what you do, they’re almost the same.) We might suss out an engineering problem over a punishing game of ping-pong, or devise a new design strategy using potato chips.
The best things in San Francisco are people.
The World in a Window
2. Snapshot Mug (11oz): Throw some inspiration into Dad's joe with multiple shots of your mug on this one. _starting at $15.99
It's delicious, expensive, and elicits long think-pieces in national publications of note. Locals will have their opinions, but you can find out if it's your jam.
2M+ sounds means every sample, loop, or one-shot you’ll ever need, and many you won’t. ██████ ██████. The largest sample library in the world. $7.99 month.
Hold on. Flipping the tape.
Show the world your true (team) colors.
5 Digital Synths: The sound of futures past
Ricardo always wanted to see San Francisco, so last year, he went there on his own. This is who he met. [Other tourists Tour guide Hotel workers]
Variety Hot Sauce* The spicy of life.
███████ Five is Alive
Book behind you.
You'll swim right after eating and be fine.
We could talk about how Blue Star's rings are made over 18 hours from a classic brioche recipe from the south of France with hormone-free milk and yada yada yada. The important thing is that they taste like God rewrote the donut recipe and they found it.
The nearest scrap of paper is always the best bookmark.
Maybe it's time to talk to your fingers about Cancelling.
Onboard new hires in 90 seconds. That’s 0.104\% of your day.
The other kind of parent company.
By nerds, for nerds.
Met some friends from ███████ at truck stop. We spoke in 140-character spurts for the entirety of our lunch.
BLOCK followers who target you with abusive ██████. You won't see their ██████, and they won't be able to follow you or see yours. Think of it as a mutual UNFOLLOW and MUTE that you force.
25\% off every Dad's Day item! (If we sold pies, that would be a stomachache for free.)
Make naughty nicer
How to wash your ████ bottle: 1. Open. 2. Toss in dishwasher.
Hustles & Flows
"But innovation doesn't stay within the kitchen. Dead Ringer boasts some of the best bartenders in the world, none of which will insist you call them mixologists."
Call Mum if we do (and call Mum if we don't)
Our last ad campaign didn’t go so well, so we’re trying something new to go with our new site and brand. This is called a pivot.
D) Break bread with your devoted followers? Congratulations. You're hardcore.
We’re people who’ve had psychedelic experiences, from mild to intense. If anyone can imagine what you’re going through, it’s us.
Always listening,
The world's most legit drum kit
Share Kanye's █████ with your bros without feeding Kanye's ego.
10,000 works of art in one frame.
The fruit of our journey: unexpected adventure and, um, fruit. It was right in front of us all along. Sometimes in a bowl.
Helter-shelter.
Ha‘i Roller* (male)
Find a restaurant that's good for groups. Your in-laws are coming.
Enjoy the best seat in the stadium, without actually being there.
The result: fast-acting gummies tangy enough to make you wonder if Mother Nature has been watching cartoons.
███████: Like the water cooler, but cooler.
“It’s time for a change. Or 263 of them.”
Put the pedal to the mettle.
Endorsed by your favorite athlete not embroiled in scandal.
Think of this as the warm-up.
Pirated plugins were cool when we were young, but we’re adults now. And with ██████ ███████████, there are no excuses.
They have immortality down to a science.
Get the ███████ Advanced bundle on ██████ ███████████. Worry about paying your dues, not your bills.
Love, by the numbers.
Fix the worst thing about your restaurant.
Brought to you by Restaurants Against Rude Eaters and the Partnership for a Cancel-Early America.
Run your restaurant by thousands of people coming to Boston for the marathon.
Even bigger than your ego!
Eat well. Drink anything but.
Clearly the best add-on for hot water since coffee and tea, this is the stuff that dreams are made of (just don't fall asleep in the tub, please).
Steak for the cost of steak fries.
Your recipe for success could be a successful recipe. Win a week away and snacks from ████! Click LIKE.
To the artists who make earning Grammy nominations sound easy: we know better.
ERROR: You must agree to our terms of service before the whiz-bang can happen.
We told the car not to play dubstep anymore. It makes Blue bark in 4 4 time.
Introducing ███. For art that moves, and art that moves you.
Gordon & Wolfgang & Anthony & Jamie weren't invited. (They hardly even cook anymore.)
But not a double click, grandpa.
but who’s actually pro-oxidants these days?
The greatest storytelling in the world(s).
████ is powered by fruit, sparkles, and daydreams.
It's just a bridge.
Brainstorming is still work, especially in this drought.
███████’s V Collection 7 is a library of 24 iconic instruments. Put some history in your future.
“Forward music” doesn’t mean anything, but it sounds like it could mean everything prescient, creative and cool
Short musical performances. Always an encore. Download the free ████ app.
8x8 Dust Jacket Photo Cover** Protect your pics from rabid dust bunnies until Dad starts hunting again. _starting at $24.99
Make futebol more beautiful.
We're the first to use "workplace provisioning" on an ad. (Also the last.)
Baby zoomer.
███████ builds decks for the downtrodden.
Goodness, gracious.
See the sites.
Once you realize how easy it is to prepare simple Italian from scratch, your suppers will never be the same again. Includes a meal and generous helpings of conversation.
90-second onboarding would have been enough.
████████ does everything but make admin work cool.
████ Sweet Strawberry gummies are remarkably fast-acting, like an athlete during a training montage.
The most important thing about punk wasn’t what they played, it’s what they didn’t.
Create reports, put out fires,
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 39 - Sea-monkey isolation tank.
Hold on. Controlling the cacophony.
Luscious synth pads forever with ███████. [Watch video]
Don't let them run on empty.
Like gold fronts for your ███████.
Don’t See Red
Sunny chords that drift into shadow. Turn the mood up or down with some striking analog texture.
Are you the one?
This is the workhorse reverb you’ve been wanting, if by workhorse you mean unicorn.
Agitate with vigor. If you can't muster enough vigor, drink a margarita first.
Hi-hats that sound like cicadas. Cicadas that sound like hi-hats. 2 million other sounds, too. $7.99 month.
More bone-suckin' than at your mama's house.
Normalize responsible rooftop drinking.
We'd bet the chocolate pudding in our sack lunch that you'll enjoy this show, but we already ate it.
Primi - With only "mixed olives" listed, the primi menu was the only thing shorter than her date.
The brand is your best work friend.
WARM, WELCOME
If this proves confusing, reach out. I’ll walk you through it.
~~████ is sourced sustainably, so every lemony sip helps preserve the planet. (Even if the sun isn't a space lemon.)~~
Money is great, but you can't take it with you.
The revolution is after brunch.
Text REDS to 40404 for a look inside baseball that isn't too inside-baseball.
14-day free trial, so you can make that mixtape you’ve been talking about.
Sat Follow (satellite follow)
Guy runs out of a bank, bags of money in his fists. The bank's alarms are screaming. He looks at an empty parking spot. We hear a car speeding away. IMAGE FREEZES.
You messed up everything. Ultra-sorry? Prove it.
They're smart, adventurous, witty without being annoying, confident without being pompous, selfless without being wimpy, interested, and engaged. They're inspired and reverent at times, but an irreverent optimist when push comes to shove.
Make a sandwich by hand.
Music can be medicine, especially when you’re tripping.
which makes it ideal for pretty much anything you'd like to grow, from heirloom tomatoes to deathhead orchids.
This took a lot of work. If we could bottle the sweat put into ████ bottles, it would be gross. (But easy to clean out.)
We know that sounds grandiose, but you'll get it when you get it.
Plenty of percs
Skip the line of tourists at Fisherman’s Wharf and join the granddaughter of a fisherman for a soul-warming sourdough bread bowl of traditional fish-and-clam chowder, then wash it down with some local wine and beer. (Booze and bowls included.)
faceless friend
The little things add up. If you must cancel your reservation, do it as early as possible.
Like plastic water bottles, our gratitude never goes away.
Discover that time is elastic, but your waistband isn’t.
Fine food for ladies and wolves.
Audeobox returns from the seas of sound some desert-island trap samples in tow. Airy melodies, sand-trap snares, heat-stroke hi-hats, fire-building basses, and other loops and one-shots essential to your survival.
Need a crunchy snare? We have 116,151 of them. Plus millions of other sounds for your beats.
The ███ family comes in a tasteful color spectrum, from flashy to more functional. (Black is as classic as anything. Gold never gets old.)
███████: Never be alone again.
Make noise about the NBA with players, coaches and fans.
TYPOGRAPHY TO THE LETTER
Hold on. Kick drums kicking in.
Make contact with your contacts. See who’s on ███████.
Business from the business end.
Have an effect.
To you, it's the Golden Gate Bridge.
███████ books are bound for greatness.
If you lived here, you'd know that. You'd see it as 6 clogged lanes of traffic between you and the people you love, with no off ramps.
Explore the new ████. The only feature we didn't add is hedgehogs. (We already had hedgehogs.)
████████ is software that helps HR and IT people. Others, too. But mostly them.
Payroll, benefits, apps and bananas.
We're sort of big on food, so we're more than a little excited to be part of Charleston's Food & Wine Festival. See you there.
Introducing V Collection 7 by ███████. 24 of the most iconic instruments ever played. Polyphony that feels like polyamory.
That means we can manufacture the doohickey you design _and_ help you ensure it’s doohicking correctly. Call on us for logistical guidance, strong opinions, or an extra hand.
The Burger Crawl
Fishmonger's Crab Feast
Run for public office
Read people's minds. [ Join in ]
Before you pass out from hunger, you’ll stop by Burma Superstar for the best Burmese in the city.
We just think some companies need services that scale.
Some ambitions cannot be contained.
I’m using the passive voice right now because I don’t want you to feel guilty. I’m bringing that up because I really do.
"Let's drink to the face plants."
Love in a loop,
Nanonanny.
Don't get caught with a bad look.
Image-conscious.
Chicks. Chains. Charity.
The fountain of youth is by the water cooler.
Fits cup holders in most cars and spaceships
A shimmering rainbow of ramen underlines the text
A hostess helps an older woman sit at a table by pulling out her seat for her, but she does it as she’s already sitting, causing her to fall on her ass. A waiter brings the woman her check as she’s pulling herself off the floor.
Come taste Bessie.
We take busy work seriously. Seriously.
From the first pair of Levi’s to the “Uber for dogs,” San Francisco has long been home to dreamers, visionaries, and outcasts whose obsessions help shape both the city and the world.
An apple’s wet dream.
@Simon: Jared will want one.
Find deals on everything worth doing, and some stuff that isn't.
1st season: █████ █████ is harder than it looks.
Large party? No problem. █████ splits the tab as many ways as you want, so you don't have an after-dinner headache. Stupid math.
It’s payday. Bee happy.
~~Instruments for sonic symbiosis.~~
Baltimore, you’re special.
Together we're individuals.
Watch your six Watch your 6
Hold on. Selling synths for a song.
Previous generations had to dig through dusty record bins for the perfect kick. You don’t.
The antisocial social club.
Make Hanukkah more efficient
End the tour with a beer, because it's beer.
Hat tricks are better with hi-hats.
Admin work isn't poetry, but it pays.
Has anyone made flavored wallpaper yet? Want to get Wonka'd.
Life it up.
Congrats to the artists who earned Grammy nominations. Your hard work is easy to play.
You'll meet some mysterious diners for <cuisine>. They'll pay.
5x7 Softcover: Available with a custom or die-cut cover. Colorful, like Dad. As low as $8.99.
[winter] Scissors snip a finishing touch on some paper, then the paper unfolds to reveal a snowflake. **It's payday. How unique.
You'll eat <cuisine> food 3 nights in a row, mostly because you can.
Save it somewhere that’s hard to miss when things seem amiss.
Link up with us if you have any questions, want to discuss wholesale distribution, or to say hello.
And it’s not just good on vocals. Feed ██████████ █ any sound source: it eats everything.
“viewership science” (again future)
Yes, we’re open.
Honor is immortal. You are not.
Where people spread rumors with a single tap. [ Get ███████ ]
Your next meal will remind you of Joe. (38) ____ tables
This bus placement cost us $1500. We spent that money to build “awareness” and “buzz” for ████████. Hopefully it’s working.
Merry Pine-Tree-Brought-Inside-and-Made-to-Look-Like-It's-Burning. Happy Magic-Candelabra-for-the-length-of-a-Beatles-workweek. Happy pretend-you-wanted-socks season.
Connect with compelling people, explore your interests, and experience everything — from your world to the World Cup — instantly and from all angles.
Enjoy the atmosphere. Don't burn up in it.
Better under pressure than the Knicks.
Donut Donut
Delicious meals for a steal.
We explore outdoors to find an inner something, that inexpressible feeling in our chest, the one that reminds us that we are alive.
Official ███████ account. ██████ include shop talk, retail retellings, purchase pontification and commerce commiseration.
Put together in a special order.
Your daughter’s favorite song was mixed here.
including the most mouth-watering mangos we can mush.
Look and feel. As in, “Look at art and feel emotions.” Probably not as strong as I think if I still feel like I need to explain it.
Get Punched
Never drink yellow snowmelt.
Grammy-nominated studio
Deck the halls, kitchens, bedrooms…
Eat your way through the city, without leaving the table.
Secret recipes. Sacred ingredients.
Mimi's Mirage
"Do your parents know you backside misty in public?"
Know your place
█████ Responsibly.
Prism Break
Voice is what you say. Tone is how you say it.
Shoot first, add hashtags later. MarchMadness
Tech Tip** Don't attempt to take your robot on the subway. Navigating turnstiles is almost impossible.
Free trial for the timid
It’s what’s been called élan, the “it factor”, charisma, and swag. And it’s as important to ██████’s copy as it is to Young Thug’s oeuvre.
Save the number on your phone. More effective than orange juice.
There is no right answer, unless you are Chef. In which case whatever you say is correct.
Learn here. You can never know too much.
They're tickets, not drugs.
Nightlife saver.
All the world news. All the world.
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 78 - Stand-in watering can for that moment when you realized you haven't watered the ficus since Christmas.
███ or GTFO.
Follow Virat on ███████. Have a chat.
[A raccoon with a bridal veil, sitting at the head of a table next to a porcupine in a tux.] Find a table for any occasion. Even this one.
Mushroom hunting with a fun guy.
We're pro-WHOA.
Every Flavor of Fuzz
Honor thy reservation.
Cultivate your curiosity.
So much better than socks.
Happy trails to view.
From the soup of the day to the meal of a lifetime.
You won't see any warm salads on the menu. That's a blessing.
Food tastes better when it’s off someone else’s plate. Always dine with people who order well.
Every book is a picture book if the words evoke imagery. Elephant!
Sure, Powell's is cool, but its younger, more scrappy cousin is cooler.
Dogs can’t drive.
Emblazoning Saddles
"Make a good ad" they said. We made good software instead.
████████ isn’t impossible to outgrow, but it’s close.
Diverse natural wine selection “balling on a budget” or just straight balling.
Have zero reservations about your reservations.
Adam and Eve, then Steve.
Canvases** Transfer a photo that Dad loves to a luxurious canvas, larger than life (just like him). Ready to be hung or framed. _starting at $34.99
a company-rallying catchphrase like “Build the future until our time has passed.”
We need more nerds who can think on their seat.
Trees looked different. Kids sometimes climbed them for fun.
San Francisco Safari
A little coaching and a lot of alcohol will fix everything, except maybe your inexplicable love for Rod Stewart.
He has the open, convivial demeanor of a friend you haven’t seen in years.
██████ overwhelming.
███████ photos. Beyond words. [Learn more]
The only ███████████ spaceship in the galaxy. It's a synth, too.
We love paperwork.
Monu(mental)
The right table. The right restaurant. Right now.
"You wouldn't believe how comfortable my booth at Oak Street Pub is. Have you ever eaten octopus hush puppies while being hugged? I have, and it's like that."
A group gathered around a dinner table, laughing and having a great time. Their silverware and plates and table settings are floating in space above their laps, because the table they're gathered around is gone, with a gaping space where it should be.
(Re)fine dining.
Hold on. Finding keys.
Classic Mid-70s flanger stomp box. Now in the box.
Your work is ours.
From long lines and overly fancy eateries to second-thought food and overpriced drinks, brunch has a bad reputation these days.
Send moving messages. Download the free ████ app.
The Big Pour-Over
(Although “classic” results can be achieved, if you’re looking for ho-hum, look elsewhere.)
A man at the airport spilled red wine on my laptop and fried everything, but I didn't even flinch. It's all backed up with ██████.
It’s busy-work automation. Make no mistakes.
Watch them light up.
Reveal and rearrange chords with Chord Track, route signals like spider webs with the modulation matrix
Keep away from children and that one guy from the coffee shop.
███████ sends social lubricants through social networks.
Live and Dye in Dolores Park
The last lyric in mixing and mastering.
MOJO appears as if it's nestled inside a warehouse in Brooklyn, like some nom-nom nesting doll of coolness. Most Brooklyn warehouses don't smell of caramelizing onions and roasting pork and garlic, though.
Notes on the sounds that make up our favorite music.
Finally. You can trust your coworkers with your social life.
Be secure with your security
BRAND POLICY (Is this needed? My notes say "no." But I don't trust them.)
Invent a gift that keeps on giving: ad infinitum
The Beatles or the Rolling Stones? How old do you think we are?
When your zen master is on sabbatical.
But not empathy (yet).
The couple quietly reads in Dolores park as if it’s been a Sunday tradition for years
Production tips, community gems, and making ends meet ends.
All your baby's firsts, in seconds. Download the free ████ app.
If you're going to reimagine a tool, make sure you can imagine using it.
The machine shop music of Ian Chang
THE GREAT AMERICAN XEROX
Kicks, claps, puppies, balloons. Loops, one-shots, synths of doom.
Each sip is packed with Vitamin C and antioxidants, if healthy is your thing. ████ wants you to be happy.
Be still, life.
When walk-ins won't cut it.
It costs more money to have ████████ than to not have ████████.
~~Timbre, tone, and technology.~~
Temple of Boom
“A tumbler? I can’t believe it.”
Guided preparation and integration for psychedelics and other prismatic experiences.
@replyowl (available)
while you're still in your pajamas. [35]
Ball hard. Easily. MarchMadness
Wreath Relief
Time to Make Timeless Music
If you don't need to keep your █████████ column configurations or settings, you can log in with your ███████ username now. Enjoy that new-car smell.
Low Volumes
What is a ████████ Moment? It's a moment of connection. It's the spark you feel when you realize you're no longer alone.
In ██████'s mind, everything is an opportunity for adventure, and adventures mean getting great photos and making them into cool stuff you can give to your friends. He's a essentially a shutterbug, with nothing but a fisheye.
Self-respect will do a lot for you, but it won't connect you to the Internet.
It’s Clam Chowder Night
New Track Who Dis
OOO Furniture Group
It is better to give better gifts.
The real San Francisco is unlike any other place, and it’s hidden in plain sight.
Hi, {username}. Be the mode selector.
Lamb, knife, jam.
Passionate about beekeeping? Speak with somebody who is paid to be stung
You write down bistro addresses on bar napkins from competing bistros.
Critique the work, not the worker.
We say "broker of record" with a straight face.
PvP matches are better with insults that rhyme.
A political party. [ Join in ]
See your stock plummet.
Impressive numbers! Brag about your stats.
We chose words over pictures because our photographer was sick.
Exit Through the Honey Shop
Ate some effing amazing cookies
Includes a picnic of delicious local food and drinks. Does not include a distrust of the establishment, but you can bring your own.
███████ is now available for Apple Watch. █████, ███████, reply and favorite in a flash. Quickly see recent ██████ and top trends. Share your location, a song, or your thoughts with a flick on the wrist. It's ███████, but littler.
And that's not the half of it.
Now with feelings.
A man digs a hole in his back yard. His kids watch from the window, perplexed. He tosses his computer in the hole and begins to fill it.
Gather ‘round the raclette for an amazing meal.
Guac Walk
If they’re not as tangy as a cartoon mango made with real mangos, we go back to the test kitchen.
Congratulations! We’re mailing you an award.
It’s Payday. A miracle.
Pro-grade plugins. 3rd-grade prices.
Photo Paper Cards** Does Dad need an incentive to write the relatives? Give him a set custom photo cards featuring his greatest achievement (you). Comes in a set of 20, with envelopes. _starting at $0.29 per card
Our vacation policy is rigid: take time when you need time.
Terrine - His skin is beginning to look like terrine so much that his dog now licks him with hope in her eyes.
Space explorer.
Then eat well. Very, very well.
Builds character. Counts characters.
We can't use brown, white, or black, as those are already code words for harder substances. (Heroin, cocaine, and coffee.)
We offer tensile ratings for any feasible agricultural requirement, from cherry tomatoes to terminatoes.
Wondagurl found out about ██████ from a friend. Now she’s releasing a sample pack. Friends are good. So is ██████.
Don't deal with dining, dine with deals.
With proper care, your ████ bottle will outlast an endless summer, a long and illustrious career, a storybook marriage, and a brick lollipop. Your bottle will most likely NOT outlast true love, the universe, and other ████ bottles.
Free-range fruit water. (Most lemons stay put.)
cement that block fame.
B Plus Permits
Life broadcasts.
Make special arrangements.
Adrian, a bedroom producer from Massachusetts, is the proud new owner of an 808. ⠀
█████ into the abyss!
You’ve built your whole brand around levity and calm,
█████’s wavetables aren’t static. They’re a sandbox you can make your own. Stack up to 256 wavetables on a single oscillator, import wavetables that look like cartoon characters, or draw your own custom manipulations and see how they sound.
It’s a Like button. Don’t overthink it.
After countless hours and eleventy-something recipe revisions, we finally did it.
Blue howled for a few minutes. The car identified his canine siren song as "Rude Boy" by Rihanna.
Would you like to go surfing with me? Sure. You're driving tho.
Good musicians take notes.
Pump in any sound source, twist a knob, and get lost in filtered, rusted memories.
You’re trying to make sense of this kaleidoscopic multiverse. Give us a turn.
~~Or move your temps to W-2. Provide insurance? Now you do.~~
Build character(s)!
I once knew a man from Nantucket.
BODY: Dropping that dignity is easy, even if getting it back is not. Watch our how-to video for details, then formulate your plan.
Last seen in Downtown LA, eating takeout.
Nobody wanted to tell you this, but your tracks are boring. Add some ████████. New on ██████ ███████████.
Somehow, through inquiry and elimination, we’ve arrived at the most wanted gummy in gummy history, and you’re holding the proof. Perfect for investigating life’s great mysteries.
How old do you think we are?
Big drink of water.
SUBJECT B: It's still ███████. Don't stare.
The Slice-of-Paradise Bike Trip
What happens in Direct Messages stays in Direct Messages. [ Send a Direct Message ]
We’re all industry insiders rn.
Make them save a spot for you.
COUNTER, CULTURE
For serious all-situations propogation. If you know, you know.
Thyme Life Cooking (not this, either)
This is my second third drink.
Strength comes from without.
"Water can't be washed and dirt can't get dirty. Is that your beer?" -████
Then I wrote off into the sunset.
We're powering an entire industry. And making our moms proud.
There aren't any ██████ about this product yet. Be a trendsetter and do something about it. {link to compose field}
Work’s like a dream.
████ is made with food-grade 304 stainless steel and Non-leaching BPA-free PP5 plastic. These materials ensure that contents stay as pure as snow melt, whether from the water fountain or the Fountain of Youth.
Collage Commuter Mug (13oz): This stainless steel and enamel mug is built tough, just like Dad. Soften it up with some photos of Dad's tender moments. His work buddies will love that. $17.99
New-fangled Old-Fashioneds
A classroom full of distracted 4th graders
The final lap is better with smooth synths.
"I'm ████████ here! I'm ████████ here!"
Expect the best, prepare for the hearse.
World Bass Moombahton earns its title
Spice Cadet
Hmmm. That’s weird. Any supported DAW's project files that are saved into the ██████ folder will be synced with your ██████ account.
Mission Accomplished
[Sign me up, sign me in. Let me begin.]
Recommended for: humans who drink liquids.
The dog knows.
You'll swim after eating and be fine. (37) ____ tables
Peanut butter and jelly. Fried chicken and waffles. ████████ and ████. (Some combos are classics for a reason.)
CRUST MONKS
Sometimes office things just click.
████████ uses both samples and synthesis to achieve bass drum sounds that get you in the gut.
Being flexible is a flex.
We don't have to hold hands in public. Make boogery.██████████.com into something more personal, like snotlover.com.
WARNING: All cocktails contain additional vim and vigor.
Leave your troubles at the door, next to the forgotten umbrellas.
The details of this are a surprise, but wear dark clothing and comfortable sneaks.
Get to know its hidden patio and salty staff over a few bottles, a few fine cheeses, and a few fantastic sandwiches.
Make a spectacle of your shelf.
If you really must read in the bathtub, do so with reckless abandon. Life is short, and pleasures are few. Moisten a chapter or two.
You can’t be a well-respected foodie Without a little exposure
Cut to the same people sitting at a conventional restaurant chain (think Bubba Gump Shrimp) getting handed a soggy bread-bowl.
Don’t just come here, come to life here.
Car helped us find the site where the world's first decoder ring was used. We almost got lost, because all the signs told us to turn FMPQ.
Humor me for a moment.
Eye candy. Mouth food.
We're proud citizens of the nation of ROYGBIV. These colors don't run, they jump.
It’s perfect for animating static sounds and creating, well, movement.
Basilcally a cup of therapy.
We pick and place the patio furniture, the plants, the desks, and even the drinks and donuts.
Torched tacos and bonfired burritos.
One million one-shots. Lots of loops.
Take side quests without question
What's the best part about almost hitting a bear with your car? You can put off the pit stop for a few more hours.
How to sample curiosity with Locked Groove
"Love may not last forever, but ████ will." [Cynical, I know.]
Make time to make timeless music.
We are the whirl.
Now on ██████ ███████████: ████████, the rhythmic effects processor.
A: Do your gifts suck? Good things come to those who hate. ███████ and █████ are giving away notebooks and cash to the Worst Gifts Ever.
For instance, Waiting for To-Go is a reference to “Waiting for Godot”, meaning that the restaurant is waiting for a reservation that never comes, because they probably decided to get something take-out. the problem is that the wordplay in the title has already confused two creatives, so maybe it’s not as good as I thought.
We design, engineer, prototype, source, fabricate, and manufacture parts, and sometimes we repair broken hearts.
Lavender is easily the best plant that's also a color. Imbued with the age-old aroma of a hug from Mom, few will dispute its ability to comfort us to our very core.
Keep control of your costs. At all costs.
Your ████ compacts to half its size when it's empty. We designed it that way so we could give you some space.
Keep away from children and people with creative facial hair.
Timing is everything. Especially to a restaurant. Respect theirs. If you can’t honor your reservation, do the honorable thing: cancel as soon as you know.
█████████ calls in sick
Hold on. Learning new scales.
Love, Haight, Beer, and Sausage
Use code to cash in on those emotions.
Sound playground.
███████ feeds ideas to famished projects.
It really chills you to your core.
Amuseum. Just spitballing, guys.
Live forever. (It's your job.)
Six brokers golfing winning
“We got Dad a card, because he is one.”
Find out your cousin is a racist.
Bean here since 1995.
Minus Permits
10 days until Valentine's Day. Don't worry, true love will probably last that long.
Hold on. Untangling loops.
Look no further. Look further.
Start your liver's odyssey at Smuggler's Cove, a bar with a pirate theme as the hook. Order something with rum.
Improve conversion rates for all religions
Pure happiness is a dog running on the beach.
Our approach is uncluttered, playful, and can-do times two.
████████ is software for payroll, onboarding, tax filing, passwords, and permissions management. It’s for other things, too, but they don’t fit here.
That's the ticket.
Chops at a chopped price.
Title: They need bigger pillows.
Sometimes, no matter what time it is, it's too early. Our remedy is not only the perfect pick-me-up, it's the perfect put-me-down-gently.
The world ends with Lou.
Hold on. Looking for outlets.
To Serve: Squeeze pouch. Your baby will take over from there.
Mementomatic
Today's specials won't be here tomorrow.
We insist that things are not as they seem,
Hold on. Getting our kicks.
Pray it doesn't go viral.
Catch everything your center fielder couldn't. [ Join in ]
The furniture and decor is equally impressive, with old library tables, ladders, lamps, and roaring fireplaces invoking a place that only exists in memory.
Mediterranean Mmmmmmm
And this little alley changed everything.
Head trips at home.
Soul Clap brings vocals, drums, leads, and fx that subvert time and stretch space.
█████: Your favorite player is a bit of a player.
We make ads the way your great grandmama made pies. (From scratch.)
Your brand is known for being chill. So this just seems like overkill. But since you think we’ve been unfair, we’d really like to clear the air:
How it's classy, so it can fit right in with wine glasses at an art opening.
Smoky. Salty. Sour. Gooooooood.
Flock the bird with other birds or other creatures
All the jobs we have at ██████ are very interesting, and the company itself is a many-headed hydra of creativity, so there’s plenty to talk about.
FIND FRIENDS AND (MAYBE) FAME
While on a road trip, it's best to stop frequently to stretch the legs. If your buttocks fall asleep, it's been too long since the last stop.
The Prince of Tides
Enjoy modest fame!
Yes, we say. But you’re not always drinking out of a bottle. Sometimes you prefer something that better suits the particular occasion. Anything from a crystal brandy snifter for an Illuminati meeting to a ladle for a chili cook-off.
Talk to strangers. [ Join in ]
At ████████, we’re all about unifying all your apps so that your workflow has more, well, flow.
Black belt in live music.
Uncork SF
The boy opens the door to find his piggy bank shattered on the floor. We can still make out “BITCOIN” on the broken pink shards of ceramic.
72391 tortilla chips served since Sunday.
You've been a vegetarian three times. You'll try a fourth.
Semi-permanently removes senses.
Craigslist ads from beings that long for interspecies romance. "Hi! I'm a middle-aged Votan woman seeking a decent human man. I enjoy line dancing, watercolors of terraformed landscapes, and walking my cats."
The Salted Lens
IT will be thrilled.
██████ █████’s Beatmakers’ Toolkit shows us the way
For the next week, every <cuisine> menu will read like a sonnet.
Direct Messages can now be up to 10,000 characters long. Now you can tell your nearest and dearest everything.
And the best caption goes to....
Your current settings will allow potentially sensitive media to display without warning. This may include violent, sexually explicit, or otherwise graphic material.
Valentine's Day is only 5 days away. Don't panic, just book.
Cremeux - Don't serve the milkshakes with a straw unless the straw is wide enough to pull a 3-day-old cremeux through.
The classic flanger learned a few things.
One of the greatest things about books is their lack of advertisements.
We’d never play you off.
Body: The best laptops reward the worst behavior. It won't get you a date, but it could get you data (and maybe $10k).
Sure, it's iconic, but it gets too much credit. If you ask locals what they love about San Francisco, it won't even make their list.
Think of it like this: it’s easier to write for a character you know than somebody you don’t. Imagine writing a Monday-morning project status email from the perspective of the fictional donkey Eeyore.
███████ raises your voice above the crowd.
Sick for an eternity.
The Means to an Endzone
If adventure isn't your idea of a holiday, escape to another tab. Look up.
Need reasons? Because Christmas carols are crowdsourced, and Frosty the Snowman was a collaborative effort.)
When you go into the darkness, pack light.
Go easy on them. They’re like unicorns: if you see them too often, it’s weird.
Manage ███████ with your team, but choose your own theme.
You'll soon be over undercooked meat. (37)
Ask me about my Corgi.
This ████████ ad will run from February to April, but you can run a business on ████████ for as long as you're running a business.
You work. Your money should, too.
In 2008 we changed the way you travel. Now we're doing it again.
Thanks. Nominate another person? Fantastic. We’ll be in touch.
Feels pretty good to own such a powerful sound box, doesn’t it?
Want an opportunity to upgrade that lousy gift and upset your upset? Follow these steps to be eligible for a better life.
Bad day at the office.
Momentous moments from a moment ago.
Your tracks are boring. You should add some ████████. New on ██████ ███████████.
You’ll be treated to three (free) meals, a very happy hour, and a special performance by Chrome Sparks.
More samples than early ‘90s rap.
Either way, you’ll get an incredibly cool cup.
Or taps if your on mobile.
Turning Lebanese
Fresh pappardelle for the cost of canned ravioli.
Does wasabi make great superglue? You'll never win those ████ bars or that █████████ gift card if you don't find out.
Not Bagels
Practice for your practice.
Hey, dude. Madonna plays Thursday at Coney Island High. You love Madonna. 4 friends love Madonna. Everybody loves Madonna.
████ is able to do many things. Unfortunately, ████ is unable to raise your children, write a dissertation, rewire a fridge, and vote.
Always tip at least 70\%
A flick might finish it.
█████ takes care of the check.
"It's not the shoes. It's the booze."
3 days left until Valentine's Day! Plenty of time to fall in love. (Better book a table, just in case.)
Santa's elves made this for themselves.
JoJo, Bjork is tickling eardrums Saturday at 27th Precinct. You like Bjork, remember? 3 friends remember.
Add drunken angel sounds, like some warbling bells and a distorted slide whistle with a fast gate.
Don't get that tattoo!
All better.
The sheep that counts you.
Connect your console to ███████ for a fighting chance.
The chef put so much thought into the way this food looks, that we didn't.
If music is the universal language, why is space silent?
You'll skip dessert, but you won’t skip regret.
Eat delicious, local food while you enjoy warm blankets and warmer conversation.
You pay him for the pizza!
Unfortunately, most tourists don't see San Francisco. They only see Fisherman's Wharf from a tour bus while eating cold clam chowder.
Sleep sound with unlimited automatic backups and version control.
My instant-weekend-in-a-bag kit.
You can do a lot with emoji, but you can't yell.
We trust that everyone we’re speaking to has a baseline understanding of music production (and basslines) and our vocabulary reflects that.
Drink responsibility.
Express the deep agony of defeat. With a GIF.
He shows a little girl the piece of paper, and she clutches her mom’s hand as she shakes her head.
Cardboard is boring, so we ship each gift in a festive holiday gift box, with seasonal patterned tape
V Collection 7 by ███████ has 24 iconic instruments. Because sometimes you need to play an Arp 2600, a DX-7, and a Buchla before breakfast.
Know it all, without being one. [ Get ███████ ]
███ ████████' right hand specialises in identity, icon and packaging design. His left hand handles illustration and art direction. Both hands work together to sharpen pencils and deliver heartfelt handshakes.
Cosmic and co-signed
Where shy people share.
Light bites included (not just mushrooms).
Cleaning brings us joy
Baker’s Cousin
Many small businesses love █████. Not odd.
Brings out warm colors - Beach Day, Electric Blanket, Vitamin T,
█████ amongst yourselves.
Hold on. Rests are still resting.
The ghost of Christmas pass.
So we scrapped the conventional gluten-free-pasta business model and returned to tradition: we hired an Italian artisanal pasta maker to get the recipe right. (She did.)
High-brow pasta. Low price.
Bring a small item to give to someone who makes an impression on you.
The best part: you won't have to do dishes when you're done.
You don't need a chill-pill prescription.
What you won’t get: - Airfare - A touristy experience
Naughty Turns Nice
"All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my mention."
Give me the info I need, then let me do my thing.
Hold on. Waiting for inspiration.
You wouldn’t blindfold your friends while they’re driving. But when you send texts to people who are behind the wheel, you’re taking their eyes off the road.
Fun, somehow.
They have pads. You have an iPad.
We’re reaching out to let you know that we have updated [██████’s Privacy Policy]{link}. Give it a spin.
What if we shared a creative commons licensed book via DM with our followers? Something about birds? Something that's notoriously long.
Yell at your QB like he can hear you
Live like there’s no tomorrow, drink like there is.
Fruit-filtered fizzy water
Improve the UX for fruitcake
Your mailman looked thirsty. Next time offer him a sip from your ████ bottle.
Explore uncharted waters.
You Vs. Anything.
It’s payday. Get a buzz.
Rosemary's Maybe
Jackson Pollock was probably horrible at Italian restaurants. Sauce everywhere.
Your favorite restaurants are now even easier to get into than puppy wrestling.
Colors are great. Except for the blues.
Dogs are next.
God's work is done by Him, then Jim.
Each Direct Message can be 10,000 characters long. Don't tell Mom.
HR's best resource.
In 1981 the "portable" Osborne 1 sold for $1,795. It weighed 25 pounds. It's only thirty years later and we're giving away the future (for free). How would a free (and featherlight) █████-powered laptop change your life?
You’re feeling way too out there. We’re right here.
We love Kanye like Kanye loves Kanye, so we're teaming up with @lincolncenter and the Yeethoven team.
"Drink a keg, get a six-pack."
Table to Farm
Give him a mug bestowed with his family in brilliant colors, and he’ll have a refillable reminder of why he’s out of bed. All mugs are high-quality and dishwasher-safe. Designed to last even longer than Dad’s stories.
██████ ██████. 2M+ samples. Free trial for the timid.
Drink today to forget today.
Plus a free trial. Plus no commitments. Plus more plusses.
Both are active musicians, and they will play a little bit as you dig into your savory brunch and sip your sparkling drinks. Sound good?
Turn your kitchen into a living room. (Probably too obtuse, because "living room" is only an effective play on words if people know what we mean by "living")
Live like there’s a tomorrow.
Transformational office tools: the fax machine, the internet, ████████.
1,000,000,000 people use █████████. Help us make it 1,000,000,001.
It was out of reach for a reason.
Subject line: Celebrate Social with ███████ and party4good.
Sit legit.
QR Codebreaker QR Snackbreaker
Filet mignon for the cost of filet of sole.
Also, it should be noted that every musician was compensated for contributing to the library. (Because a simple “thank you” doesn’t pay the bills.)
Take ███ to the beach where you swore there were banana groves. Take pictures.
Happy 8th Appiversary to us!
Change the world with a conversation.
Leave with some edible souvenirs.
Boost immunity with impunity.
elephant suppository.
Lamb chops for the cost of chop suey.
Picky bleater.
Don’t use gendered nouns to refer to professions, like policeman or fireman. Use the non-gendered alternative, like officer and firefighter. (But don’t talk about the law or fires, either. It can ruin the mood.)
It’s a search bar. Don’t overthink it.
life will never be the same
Special. Isn't it?
Four if you’re my dad.
Keep in mind that humorous statements are often funnier with a straight-faced period.
Headline:** Your one mug shot he'll brag about.
When you're done there (or when they're done with you), weave down Valencia and seek out the hidden speakeasy in the belly of Dalva, guaranteed to be the first thing anyone mentions anytime the bar enters the conversation.
Most importantly, you’ll learn about the infamous “Houseboat Wars” before returning to your house in San Francisco via boat.
San Francisco has so many great Chinese restaurants that most people have a different place they prefer for every favorite dish. San Tung is the place locals like for wings, and you will, too. Go for the wings, stay for the other things.
Let's imagine Picasso painted his greatest works with his finger, while standing in line at the grocery store.
The only likable music promoter.
Peaks from the Peaks
Free computers every day. Ten-grand grand prize. First, chop your self-respect to a fraction of its size.
Create here. We have the tools it takes to triumph.
Transformation through transportation.
Never gets old.
This is your restaurant reservation when you don’t show up or cancel at the last minute.
Be a critical drinker.
The Home-Away-from-Home Stretch
Mug full of hug.
Eternity isn't an exact science.
Valentine's Day is in 13 days! (Booking a romantic table easier than an argument.)
The cruise will be at twilight, so try not to get too starry-eyed.
A bottomless sound library with plenty of bottom.
Booze with electrolytes. The prophesies were true.
Traipse through a wonderland of Redwoods.
Farming simulators are better with sunny electronica.
Behold the Gallery of Grovelers!
Keep away from children and guys named Todd.
Now priced to move (the crowd).
Trade insults with rival fans.
Where friendships bloom.
Hard for us. Easy for you.
serviceable hearing aid.
The piano player continues to play as we pull back to reveal she’s sitting in a tiny apartment, her grand piano taking up the whole room.
Visit the Castro’s best bars with Kyle, a self-proclaimed barfly and a regular at several neighborhood spots. Start at the Beau Lounge and end the evening with a safe and swift ████ home.
Others need payroll, benefits, computers, and apps.
██████ Creator Initiative is a constellation of programs that create new opportunities for the independent sound creator community.
Go from 10 to 1000 employees overnight.
Every trip has some mystery baked in, but you can count on doing things you never thought possible and enjoying yourself beyond logic.
When you overindulge on table bread.
What instrument would annoy [your username]? Everybody learn that one.
See food.
Why don't parents understand emoji?
Get your House in order with these iconic and unexpected sounds from genre-definining artists.
Are trees ignoring you? Call or text 1-833-2████████ to get real-time support for your psychedelic experiences.
Crack the book.
Hold on. We’re putting on hats.
██████ ██████. 2M+ samples. Free trial, so you can compose before you commit.
Curate from the couch.
See more than the ref. Feel more than the players. Win, even when your team loses.
This is your restaurant reservation. This is your restaurant reservation when you don’t show up or cancel at the last minute. Any questions?
Keep away from children and singer-songwriters.
Kaleidonut
Bubble-upcycled
██████ that spark a flow
Never buy another kick.
Vote early. Vote often.
Shoot and share video on ███████. Develop your characters.
All of creation.
Simply put, we apply extremely high pressure to the outside of our bottles so nothing good escapes. You're welcome.
Take trips seriously. Take trips. Seriously.
Not as rough or foggy as the Sunset, and with better views, you’ll discover that it offers some of the best food in the city, one of the most vibrant art scenes, amazing nature, and plenty of shops full of curios and comestibles.
We don't know if they're close to reaching that percentage, but we know they're close to reaching nirvana. Try their brisket empanadas, grilled octopus, or smoked bone marrow. You can skip the meditation class.
"If you're going to climb a mountain, be sure someone notices."
Watch history unfold on ███████.
Sure, those aren't verified words, but this moment is quite real.
Look before you book.
Classic sampler bitcrushing emulation. The high road to lo-fi.
Grab a bottom or touch a top.
██████ ███████████. Top-shelf production tools, now within reach.
When a bar is referred to as the new Cheers, it's only a matter of time before we're there, propped up on elbows and too many rounds of craft beer.
In general, we think █████’s great…for teams of five or twenty-eight.
████████ is all about getting your workflow to a flow state. (So you can surf the internet or whatever.)
Onions are supposed to make people cry. Not the other way around.
Evolved HR (with all the benefits) HR with Added Benefits
They’ve-Got-It Fridays
Bottle swapping is still taboo.
Sip till you tip, then soak up the bottles with a box lunch.
Do 8 hours of work in 90 seconds.
"We like to relax, and ███████ █████ made all of the hard decisions so we could take it easy. Really, really easy."
Sealed with a kiss. (And Clean Seam Technology.)
TITLECARD: Hold on for ████████.
Save the date.
Finish the song in your mama’s driveway, annoying her neighbors and draining her car’s battery until the sweat makes it hard to see.
“Last night a fry cook saved my life.”
Our people are singular. Our people are people people.
Finding adoptive parents for Angora bunnies
Only 1 day left until Valentine's Day! Book a table now, but act like you did it weeks ago.
You feel kinship with every human and creature on the planet, but you don’t have anyone to call. Call us.
"It's the booze." -Mars, probably
Pursuing a career in the arts? We have some great artists who will talk you out of it
We fix meals.
Share your world with the whole world. Try video on ███████.
████████ just teamed up with ████ to bring you the first way to automate corporate card issuance. This is way more exciting than it sounds.
it will date ██████'s copy faster than your mom learned to use "woke" in a sentence.
Goes to show: you.
█████ me out to the ballgame. Text REDS to 40404.
There’s only one good way to save internet money.
Upgrade your studio with a ███████████ plugin or three.
"Follow @themoney."
Life is now live.
He shows us photos of animals that once existed. Something huge and frightening called an elephant.
Neither bright nor muted, it can hold your gaze without demanding it.
You be the judge.
Brainy botanicals for busy people.
Bow Tie Father's Day* - Give him a tie that he doesn't have to wear. Displays one photo of your family. _$2.05
An oasis with alcohol.
Interviewed CD, liked CD
Your will be done. Our grill be fun.
Custom clouds.
Dish about your favorite dish. Best recipe wins a trip to NYC and free ████ bars for a year. Click LIKE.
Electronic music is the new folk music because the computer is the new folk instrument: everybody has one.
Travel light but pack tight.
Get a stranger to buy you coffee.
are {adverb} fast-acting, like a creep when you’re newly single.
The shortcut to SF's heart is through your stomach.
Keep them coming until I'm easy going.
Your feelings, now in HD!
You’ll look great with wind in your hair.
San Francisco is a perpetually evolving megalopolis of concrete and sunshine and trees. It’s a city in which the past collides with the future, and often with strange and wonderful results.
Fine-tune its settings to suit your situation, without causing one.
Kick-start your kicks.
The biggest help with tracking the little stuff about your little one.
Break yourself at home.
Extra-Gifted Gift Wrap Package
A superfluous hyphen can feel as antiquated as the one in to-morrow. When in doubt, leave it out.
Where grown-ass men wear bibs.
Bubbles without troubles.
Hold on. Anticipating the drop.
Go on some of Nicki's favorite hikes and daylong adventures in the city. Meet and explore with her friends, and start to see the city like they do: as a giant playground for adults.
This is the box. (Think outside.)
so you won't miss a moment.
The most insightful football pundit is a fry cook in Peoria.
Start with the Vegan Mezza, even if you're not vegan (we love meat and dairy), because that's what everybody who's in-the-know knows.
In which we lovingly examine the spellbinding sounds in your favorite genres.
What the teens are ████████ about!
Lamb chops for the cost of chop salad.
You're a mom. Get used to repeating yourself. Download the free ████ app.
A community center with a real sense of community.
Stumble down the block for a $2 Tecate at the 500 Club, where it's not unusual to see a dog sitting on bar stool between regulars.
█████ ███████████ creates new spaces from old ones.
With ███████ under the hood, anything is possible. Well, anything is probable. Follow our developer guidelines to ensure your code is up to code.
Dollars to Donuts
Croustade - Wash your sheets before they resemble your grandma's rhubarb pie croustade.
You eat food? Cool. Us, too.
HO-HO-HOrticulture
She will lay down a harmony, layering her voice so that it sounds like 9 Melas, all hoarse with heartbreak.
███ ████████ is a designer. After you've designed for a while, everything's just colors and shapes, man.
@Brier: Abby's bunny had bunnies! {rabbit emoji}
Know the real deal from the banana peel.
███ adapts to pretty much any social situation, and totally understands when you're feeling antisocial.
Warning: DO NOT use your ████ bottle as a lightning rod. It angers Thor. (We never sent him a complimentary bottle.)
Gaze into the darkness and laugh
Don’t just drop in. Don’t be a kook.
stupid, stupid glasses.
When walk-ins won’t cut it.
Comestibles from every kingdom. Conquer the world with your liver.
Sights unseen.
Imagine you decided to have your first psychedelic experience safely at home, yet soon you realize you're in over your head. You're alone and terrified. You'd call somebody, but you're not sure anyone you know would understand.
The longest mile is the one between the finishline and the restaurant.
[Image: a ping-pong table in a basement. It looks like your cousin’s rec room. The ping-pong table is set with fine silverware and bone china, just like a restaurant table.]
███████ is an elite team of anti-elitists.
Anyone in construction knows that obtaining timely permits for a project can be a hassle. (And that's the kind way of putting it.)
Pinky Out Donut
We're HR and IT people. We hide our tattoos.
Find out why ███████ is the Michael Jordan of social networks. (Without the weird mustache.)
The WOW never wears off.
You can't always get what you haunt.
Bell Bottom Chicken
Notice when your goldfish has a cold.
Satan's sketch artist.
Horns riffs, baselines, drum licks, and all that jazz.
Give your printer its walking papers.
████████ automates work. Ads seem superflous.
Master more masterfully.
"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my selfie."
Don’t think about your ex, because you need to make eleven more tracks that are just as good or better.
Sometimes a bad day is the end of the world.
The 10 o'clock news x 10,000,000. [ Join in ]
Your next meal will remind you of Joe.
Nature, Re-gifted
Like the water cooler, but cooler.
It's cold outside. Bundle up with the ███ FX bundle.
the envy of friends and family
Thy neighbor will covet thy wive's bottle.
"Hey, girl. It takes 1,800 gallons of water to produce one pair of jeans, but those jeans were worth every drop." -████
(Like backstroking through a blueberry.)
Any sound you need. Many you don’t.
[ Do it later ]
Yum times a million.
NFL on ███████. A direct snap.
It’s confidently nerdy but still accessible
~~Set in stone.~~ (No.)
Think it over, then stop over and think.
Fillmore Like a Sandwich
C.O.D.D. - Coalition of Deliberate Diners
Get inspiration and ingredients for any genre, and even some that haven’t been invented yet.
Keep up with people you left behind.
Life happens. But that's why rescheduling was invented.
Bench your old profile
Come hungry, and leave elegantly stuffed with sweet and savory treats.
Sea lemons aren’t a thing. We checked.
We both hate busy work, repetition, and stress.
███████ is the network of now.
Badmouth your boss. Keep your job. [ Send a Direct Message ]
Pirated software was cool when we were 11, but we’re grown now. Don’t put up with glitchy plugins. Try ██████ ███████████.
We want an office made of old Danger Sidekicks. Tons of tiny flip-out shelves.
Why do trips you take to unfamiliar cities seem so sterile, lonely, and unfulfilling? Turns out, the best way to experience New York isn't to see Times Square, it's to spend some time with a New Yorker and let him show you his city.
Carve out the correct amount of crud, dull the dirt, or smooth your sound with any combination of the four analog-modeled filters.
“I traveled alone, so I was forced to talk to strangers, and I made new friends.”
Nature's a mother.
which you’ll be hard-pressed to not use on vocals, guitars, drums, synths, and anything that will sit still.
A ████████ without your parents.
A memory. An idea. A little bit of courage.
Bad presents got you down? Trade up, buttercup.
We're pixel-level picky, and proud of it.
Hear what they play. Hear what they don’t.
Too many cooks. (The broth is fine.)
The life of a room. Hmmm. I tried a few options with “life.” They either feel too lofty or they sound like they’re insulting the user (like this one).
Machinedrum took a hammer to his equipment
Devise a lottery system to select guests for Santa's North Pole property (Dec 24th only)
(You'd never wear the same thing to the Grammys as you would to your Grandpy's.)
Run, Park, Pacific
It’s always okay. Whether you’re having a good trip or a bad one, if you feel the desire to speak with a person who gets it, please reach out.
Don't bottle your emotions, even if you're using one of our bottles.
Eenie, MIDI, miney, moe.
We'll pay shipping and give you a full refund, no questions asked. Because nobody likes questions, do they?
Yes, we’re open. We’re surprised, too.
8 Miles of Smiles
Joy takes sweat.
Fancy for the cost of plain.
Deluxury Library
Looking for a handout? You'll need both.
Will climb Russian Hill for gourmet.
ALT VISUAL: A police interrogation room. Harsh lighting. Fixed steel loops for handcuffs. All with an incredible Thanksgiving-style spread.
Be the good in a good trip.
Welcome to ██████. Explore at your own bpm.
See beyond your scope.
A sandbox for sonic dirt.
A lil’ bit safer, but it doesn’t bounce like it should
Meet up with a Gladys, a music critic for the Village Voice. She'll take you to a record store in somebody’s basement that’s only open one day a week.
Earn interest, instantly
Help spread democracy. Explore ███████ Polls.
B) See your roommates online more than off? Congratulations. You're hardcore.
All of the components to have the best hotel morning ever.
Always unwrap a gift horse mouth-first.
Shades of future past.
Wanda Lust
Finally, soup you can throw into a bag without making a mess. Doesn't hurt that it's nothing but raw-juice nutrishalicious stuff, either. Oh, and bowls and spoons are optional, because freedom.
We only drink when it's weather outside.
This is a boring ad for boring software that saves your from boring work.
Bake peach pies while tossing back prosecco.
Patatas bravas - George wants french fries on the menu, but I ordered patatas bravas instead. I mean, it's my wedding, too.
temporary Internet fame
Lush, jungle paradise. An escape from 300 days of rain.
You aren't a dirty, couch-locked loser. You're an artist. An explorer. A cultural fucking icon. And cultural icons don't hit bongs. They're above that. They've got shit to do.
We know it might sound like a flex, but we can handle the complex.
Crypto your bills.
Get matched with locals you'll like (from foodies to footballers)
It can ground you. It can calm you. It can provide a pathway for self-exploration.
Eats. Seats. No regreets.
███████ brands the wicked.
Eat breakfast-times-lunch with a local in Huntington Park.
Team Goal: Inspire Fools
If life were normal, they'd just die.
Sample Magic’s Live Hi-Hats Vol. 3 proves the third time’s a chhh
Learn to moonwalk
Somebody needs to make a Bluetooth tooth. You could brush your teeth and accidentally call Mom. She'd be so happy.
Display Dad’s angels from all angles.
Few things in life are sweeter than chocolate stolen from a coworker’s desk.
Chin Music
A waiter draping a white tablecloth over a table. Once the sheet settles, we see some weird shapes beneath and realize the table was set beforehand
Posters** Give Dad a custom motivational poster, great for those times when he doesn't feel like doing the dishes.
███ FX Bundle is now on ██████. Get true grit, sonic glamor, evolving spaces, and analog-modeled audities. [Show me]
Better because the blockchain.
To leave a mark on a wall is to tell the world you exist. We’ve been doing this for 40,000 years.
Exquisitely tipsy.
The pig, the rye, and the pie.
Want to save the planet with fruit water that fizzes? Cool. Drink the contents of this can. Thank you in advance.
(And many in the universe.)
B: A few of her grandchildren use private group messages to stage a social network intervention. They finally pull grandma into the conversation and express their concerns. She promises she'll be more reserved.
You make it your mission to focus your unblinking, f-stopped eyes on the things that grab you. You work strange hours in stranger places. You risk it all to see it all.
"Run down and run up a tab."
We even have the sound of silence.
Water is the original energy drink.
Our team works.
Apple pie for the cost of an apple.
We don't do cubes. We work in an open floor plan. It makes reading facial expressions much easier.
Perfect for going way off script.
I have a project due today. Will you do it? There's fast work and there's good work. Pick one.
██████████ uses complex algorithms and simple magic to serve you the best of ███████.
HEADLINE: Let's be clear.
T-Pain Points
Coping with Coping
Hit the High Quotes
Generic snapshot of face. Small text reads something like: "Simon Goetz. 5'7". Red hair. Unbelievable air. Last seen wearing ██████████ snowboarding gear."
Agreed. {BIG KISS EMOJI}
Kinda corny, but worth it.
Be the cause. Just because.
Taste it all. Bill so small.
How to Win a Grammy
Surround the bird with other birds or creatures
CEOs use us but they would never hang with us.
A clean bell of health.
Meet and explore with her friends, and start to see the city like they do: as a giant playground for adults.
Chef Puccio will reveal her secret recipe to you. We don't know why, and you probably shouldn't question it.
What's the best thing to do in SF? Make an educated guest.
███████ always allows you to be yourself in the photos you share. Wear your Armani suit or your birthday suit, we don't care. We never censor or remove any photos that contain nudity.
Having good taste doesn't hurt. We know that such things are subjective, but our efforts objectively result in signed leases.
"My trip to SF made me feel like I could do anything."
I hope nobody finds my music from high school. But I really hope nobody finds my music from now.
At ████████, we run on ████████, okay.
(Cook some ████ and give ████ a break.)
Down with florescent lights.
Curiouser and Curiouser
Multiband distortion. Multiverse mangling.
The urinal cakes in our restrooms shouldn't be ███████ Blue. They should be ████████ Blue.
Mother Nature’s ticket to chillville.
Made with real bubbles.
Her old station wagon has the best sound system outside of a pro studio, because you’ve never been inside a pro studio.
Dream machines.
And others need to pay their teams working abroad.
██████ █████'s Vintage Mixtape Expansion is basically Side B
FORCED-PERSPECTIVE PHOTO: Blue raising his leg with a mountain behind him, so that it looks like he's peeing on the mountain. TEXT: Blue misses the plains.
Experience 1: Welcome Feeding
POV: You’re sandwiched between two sandwiches What do you do?
Get hoops, hops and epic stops. [ Join in ] Game time. In real time. [ Join in ]
We’re Open if you are
Domestic dispute.
Hyperbasilence
████████ is like a turducken:
██████ you shouldn't miss.
With the ability to swap-and-drop the effects and modulate nearly any parameters with LFOs, you’ll be able to keep a hummingbird’s attention.
A restaurant wants to wait on you, not wait for you. If your plans change, don’t forget to cancel your reservation.
Open a restaurant and design its entire menu around that one cheese, mostly so you'll have an excuse to fly it in three times a week.
as many SF microclimates as SF microbreweries
Don't write a long, serpentine sentence with peaks and valleys, a dramatic arc with the common man's hopes and dreams, and everything in between. Write a short one.
Hold your head high.
Welcomed to the neighborhood.
You'll get into outdoor seating.
It’s not a dating app Unless you’re weird about food. (It’s for restaurant reviews, you creep.)
The search engine for spectacles.
We have a friend who is using crayons as a cigarette substitute. She says that burnt orange has a nice aroma.
████████ automates work data propagation... and we lost you.
Chef Michael Voltaggio looks throughout his kitchen for something, but we don’t know what. He checks the walk-in, which is empty. He knocks on the bathroom door.
Be right there with them while you're stuck at home. All for cricket.
The Richmond Dim Summary
When your spirit animal has the sniffles.
Make work work.
All your plant base.
We believe in being hands-on.
Water is the third most common molecule in the Milky Way. The first two are chocolate and caramel.
Record it on your phone and process it later with a snappy delay, shorter than Sunday.
To be in the know, be in our circle.
Listen to rappers, not parents.
Work Data Irrigation
Busy work is the fog, ████████ is the sun
A trapese artist swings through the air, high above a crowd. She reaches forward and grasps for her partner's hands, but she only catches air. IMAGE FREEZES.
You aren't what you eat. Thank goodness. We'd be Cheetos rn
Give guidance without being there.
But usually in other situations, like tail-gate parties, outdoor operas, forbidden weddings, or just some strangers’ family picnic, you want a tumbler.
The sticky chops, syrupy loops, and bizarro fx will thicken even the thickest tracks.
We make work software that we also use to make work software.
You’ll realize that there are few things in life more important than pie, if you haven’t already.
Send and electronically endorse every document and form your company uses, from optomistic offer letters to sad, sad severence packages.
Appreciate lemonade.
You’ll cruise the twists and turns in a luxurious VW bus (probably an oxymoron), complete with a stocked beer cooler.
Send a private message to a group of people on ███████. Get a second, third, and fourth opinion.
Live within your dreams.
Loaner. Rebel.
- BFFs - Sunsets - 100 million songs and podcasts (give or take)
We’re on a mission you can drink.
Dance (optional)
Just add thoughts!
These things sometimes happen. We recommend you take the time to think about something amazing, like butterflies or space or butterflies in space.
Keep away from children and animals that smile.
████ is delicious and uplifting, like a sparkly lemon dream. That's because we use real sparkles, real lemons, and real dreams.
The global peanut gallery. [ Join in ]
Tonight, you'll discover the best of San Francisco's rum, gin, and whiskey bars, then you'll quickly forget them.
Only 1500 Photo Aprons are available. When they're gone, they're gone. (Just like Dad's best burgers.)
We’ll respond to you within one business day. That’s quick. It takes more time to:
Fighting games are better with walls of sound.
We help HR and IT and CEOs and other acronyms.
The pizza bagel is less than the sum of its parts.
{Awoo Awoo} is a doom-pop klezmer collective that performs exclusively with circuit-bent car alarms. They find inspiration in the tension between example bios and real ones.
You can stand awkwardly by the entrance if you still want to.
All you need to do is show up and don’t throw up.
Being ungrateful is a piece of (fruit) cake.
Don't talk about your feelings, click about them.
No. Sometimes it’s just nice to connect with another human being, even if your trip is going just beautifully
"Like" ████ ████ on ████████ to qualify. Up to 7 entries per person, per week. Winning remedies do not have to do anything but amuse us, and sometimes that's hard enough. Contest runs May 8 to June 25, 2012.
████████ is a bridge between willing and able.
ABCDESK
Motorcycles in a library.
The city is your oyster. Save some pearls.
Huh? {heart emoji} You guys are the best, but I still want a real bunny.
Frosted Stein: Dad doesn't need to be thirsty to enjoy a frosted beverage, especially if it’s his favorite. $19.99.
It makes you wonder what you can do with these things
FIND FRIENDS AND (MAYBE) FAME FIND FRIENDS AND FANS.
Where everybody knows your face.
Spend a week in SF like you’ve been here your whole life.
Thirst and audacity both die hard.
Monsters are easier to draw on Mondays.
Cash to spend on cable-car shot glasses and Coit-Tower pencil sharpeners souvenirs
Their Own Thing
The world is ~~incr~~edible.
Locals only.
Major-domo Book Dojo
Your new secret weapon: Ben
We don't even know if Bob and Mimi are the perps or the victims.
Where the secret sauce is sauce.
A strange superpower but still.
Tell a robot to shut up.
An open floor plan favors open minds: we sit together so we can work together.
█████ Nothings
The most special FX
Buy a beer for anyone on ███████, right now.
Custom kicks (and even basses) for $5.99 month
Workhorse synth. Spacehorse sound.
You’ll have a business lunch at a romantic restaurant and fall in love with your job.
Colorways for days. (And nights.)
Like heroin, the more you use the exclamation mark, the more it loses its effect.
Who cares that cowbells weren’t invented for cows? (We know you do)
What sounds good?
This rough-and-tumble dive is such a far cry from the atmosphere of the neighborhood's surrounding juice bars that it almost seems it's kept open in opposition, and to remind you that beer is a sort of juice.
wrapped two birthday presents by using a newspaper and magnets
Big Yellow Permits
Take Back ███████
Learn how to drastically improve your experience on ███████ in about a minute.
Have a heart-to-heart with your ficus.
Have more options than chicken, fish, and vegetable. [ Book a table ]
Tailgate on ███████.
Counter Cure-all Kit
Bring your aux cable (Mama knows oxtail soup, not aux cables) and mix the track in the front seat of the wagon, windows rolled up and A C off in the middle of ass-sweat August, because acoustics.
If you have any questions or comments, or you just want to chew the fat, don't hesitate to reach out.
Is that Camp Crystal Lake?
4-on-the-floor beats aren’t boring when the floor is moving. Try ████████ by ██████. Rhythmic effects. New on ██████ ███████████.
It’s a food app But you can’t eat it. You can download it tho We hope that’s enough.
There’s no way to sugarcoat it: life change is hard work. But change is easier when you have someone to walk alongside you and support you.
Good ideas based on your idea of a good time.
Fresh gnocchi for the cost of canned ravioli.
A dinner that’s a net positive.
Prince or Michael?
We’re working on coffee.
Feeling Mint
It’s sparkling water that’s sourced from fruit. 100\%. Really.
A good mescal margarita is unexpectedly strong and smoky. After a long shift or a trying day, drink one with a friend, or anyone you'd like to make one.
Hold on. Reading the meter.
Cooking samples with Braxton
Grab the burrito to end all burritos at Taqueria Cancun, but be sure to grab it with both hands. If these burritos have any faults, it's that they're too big. Get it to go.
We're going to Monterey this weekend. I can't wait to taste my first dolphin burger.
Nature’s unnaturally effective digestive.
Get yours early, before the code runs out.
Next time, enjoy more than the sweet tea.
We work hard. We don't play.
How to lace great bass with ███████ [Watch video]
Ping pong is our poison.
Hold on. Nursing rhymes.
Ewe are different.
Search 2M+ sounds in moments. Loops, one-shots, stems. Drums, keys, craziness.
A digital coke party: everyone talks, nobody listens.
When stuff gets real, rely on unreal equipment.
Feels good, man.
Our storied heroes are the ones with the stories.
Happy Black Friday. Buy yourself some time.
Look to the Future (Bass) with soulful packs by legendary artists like KRANE, Medasin, and Electric Mantis.
Psst, [Firstname]!
16 tappable sequenced delay lines. Delay for days.
If MacGuyver were a cook, what would replace his trusty Swiss Army Knife?
travel to Mars by laser train
For some people, groveling comes naturally.
Meuniere - Their special is Catfish Meunière, but it tastes like a well-seasoned shoe.
B: You're not stuck with that lousy gift. Show it off, win computers and cash from ███████ and █████. Then send us the thank-you card.
Flavors too bright? Wear sunglasses.
Dive down the rabbit hole for an Alice-themed brunch.
Tape a penny to a cymbal for some DIY sizzle. (Finally found a use for pennies.)
Look a gift horse in the mouth.
If you don't love your ███ with every iota of your being, send it back to us.
Our favorite designers are image cooks. Our favorite cooks are food designers.
Start with freshly baked potatoes, flour, eggs, and parmesan, and turn them into little edible pillows of heaven. (The “G” in “gnocchi” is silent, but the “mmmm” is not.)
your friends. Avoid your frenemies.
The sung sound synthesizer.
When your turkey is dry, you add cranberry sauce. When your work is dry, you add ████████.
The spaceship synth that's priced like a bus ride.
She skated. FIFO, I guess.
Sometimes we reenact key scenes from Flashdance in which we're Jennifer Beals and our ████ bottle is the bucket.
Iowa caucuses are today, and the rules can be complex. When work is complex, we recommend ████████. When the Iowa caucuses are complex, we recommend Wikipedia.
We don't believe them.
He dials in the combo, opens the safe and puts his phone in, shutting the door with a thunk. He replaces the painting on the wall, carefully leveling it. As soon as he does this, his phone begins to ring, muffled.
Image: Switch your business operations to ████████. It’s illuminating.
Quiet, classy, and customizeable, ███ knows how to adapt. Fine-tune its settings to suit your situation, without causing one.
Amped by amps.
Tonight, you'll discover the best of San Francisco's rum, gin, and whiskey bars, then you'll quickly forget them. Start your liver's odyssey at Smuggler's Cove, a bar with a pirate theme as the hook. Order something with rum.
Join the only meeting that matters.
Today's specials are just that.
██████ is a boy (but essentially asexual)
Our heads are in the cloud. It powers everything we do, connecting authors with readers, learners with teachers, and workers across continents. We work in Python, Scala, Redis, and bathrobes.
Our heads are in the cloud.
Get into anything. (I like this because it means "get access to" and "take an interest in" at the same time. May not be as explicit as you want re: the purpose of the product.)
Switch-hitting synth. Champion sound.
Somehow MEAT FISH WINE accomplishes both.
Your music needs ████████. Add rhythmic effects and make any audio interesting, even your old voicemail. New on ██████ ███████████.
Psychedelic preparation, integration, and illumination.
Do the dishes. Like, really do the dishes.
Get cozy with sea otters, blue herons, and seals.
Running a restaurant isn't easy, but █████████ will make you forget it's hard.
Don't fumble. Catch the NFL on ███████.
“Face Bass isn’t a genre. Yet.” -██████ Research
Control, center.
Let me ride.
(Drums. Horns. Animals. And everything else.)
Expand your sound.
██████ ██████. Free trial. Cancel anytime. Keep the sounds, whether you like us or not.
goalmouth. Join in.
You'll lunch with fun people at a fun restaurant. (It'll be fun.)
Teens, wash your ████ bottle after every round of Spin the Bottle. Also, kiss with your mouths closed, you hormone-powered germ factories.
Remade in the shades.
Jill lives in the desert, but she needs a break from sand. She's heard about Flowerville, and looks at the trips available there.
████████ makes onboarding as short as this sentence.
Introducing Specials: lamb chops for the cost of chop suey. (And other delicious deals.)
are {adverb} fast-acting, like a locust with a “Carpe Diem” tattoo.
So yeah, the San Francisco you heard about is done. Exploited. Expired. Don't even bother trying to see it.
Multitap delay-elay-lay-lay-lay-ay-ayayayayayay-ay-ay.
Brax Stax feels like home
Cut to a barrage of high-energy shots of locals around the city; a man long-boarding to work in a suit, a chef fervently preparing a meal in the kitchen, a roller skater whirling in circles in Golden gate park.
Master shamelessly in public.
We add a hint of organic blueberries, so that every sip delivers the perfect balance of bubbles and blue.
It’s basically the Library of Congress for sounds.
Becky is such a bitch. Send a Direct Message about her to your friends.
Happy trails,
Another reason to avoid slang, in case you need one: it's often originally associated with a particular culture, and appropriating it for the purpose of corporate copy will always be wack. Don't do it, bb.
If you can see their jewelry, you’re too close
MEZZA FIEND
Houseplant MD
Subject line: ██████████ payment info uh-oh.
Master like you mean it.
Momentous moments.
You'll do something that Fnnch organized to capture the essence of what it feels like to be a street artist in the city (without the getting-arrested part). The details of this are a surprise, but wear dark clothing and comfortable sneaks.
She left me and I lost my job in the same week. My drinking has turned my life into a country song. Not a good one, either.
Our favourite dish right now is the Hot, Sweet, Sour and Numbing Pork, which is quite accurately named. But next time we're going to try the Three Shot Chicken. Hopefully that won't be as accurately named.
Pro plugins. ███████████. Nobody needs to know.
COPY: Don't worry. They always get it together.
Neither bright nor muted, it's more of a luminous, animated oil painting than a glowing monitor. Put it in the dining room or on the desk, next to Dada or data.
Ghost Hinge
Hold on. Forging time signatures.
More saturated - Secret Sauce, Satura
Cherry-pick the samples you want from thousands of packs. Never run out of inspiration (or 808s).
Show your food. (By uploading a photo, not by chewing with your mouth open.)
Your work spouse.
Rum cake for the cost of sober cake.
Don't worry, your credit card has not been charged. Chin up.
Eat dinner with Francine, an F-train operator from the Lower East Side. She'll get you into a speakeasy-style salsa club. (It’s all in the hips.)
G. Rover Cripes
Somebody cares! (A somebody who also uses ████████.)
We built a business on busy work.
Kick generation for the kick generation.
The Grape Escape
hardcore (the genre, not the attitude)
Commuter Mug (13oz): This spill-proof stainless steel and enamel mug accommodates coffee, a favorite photo, clumsiness, and rough journeys in Dad's truck. $14.99
Softness. Sooooooftness.
For anything fancier than Macca's.
Channel Chagall.
Hugged my parents
The new ████ is so shiny, we recommend welding goggles.
DontAsk
The event's sponsors are Krispy Kreme, Explorer, and GoNabIt. The free donuts come from one of them. We forget which.
Games are long. ██████ are short. Text REDS to 40404.
Lobster tail for the cost of pork butt.
CARD 3 — We see the many become the few.
The only wrong way to use ███████ is to not use it.
Simply put, ████ bottles aren’t only designed to be earth-friendly, they’re also designed to be friendly.
The word “cryptocurrency” was out of the question.
People had swimming pools in their neighborhood.
We didn’t know what ██████ was. We didn’t know why anyone should care.
Nothing is carved into stone. That’s the old publishing model.
Get the ███████ Advanced bundle on ██████ ███████████. Mixing and mastering for professionals, but priced like we’re amateurs.
Walk in like you own the place.
Meetings of the minds. No-end insight.
We share a sense of purpose, even when we won't share candy.
Go long. Really long.
Wondagurl started making beats when she was 10, but her new sound pack may not be appropriate for children.
Bora, The Beatles are giving aural at The Crystal Ballroom this Saturday. 6+ friends are into it. Sounds like Eazy-E.
Hear the drama behind the drama
You’re weaving the threads of your consciousness into new patterns. We can offer tips.
Sure, it's not quite the same as a triangle from New York, but New York doesn't have this weather.
On ████████ Terms
@reply your congressman. [ Join in ]
Control the clouds.
You'll be outlived by a virus.
They're basically the first person you'd call if you found a stash of fireworks, a side entrance to the opera, or an extra ticket to Mars.
Or you could stay with Leo, the owner of Leo's Perfect Pizza Pies in Bensonhurst, who knows the best place for canolli. (It's not in Little Italy.)
Duty, Honor, Technology.
See news break, and watch stories unfold.
Remember guitars.
At minimum, you’ll have an opportunity to taste 6 different wines, and you’ll leave with the confidence to talk about them. Or at least a healthy buzz.
A 3-hour lunch
Oh, and we don’t call employees on their days off.
Congrats to the artists who made earning a Grammy nomination look easy. We know better.
Research and destroy.
Coast to coast.
Take a trip, lose your baggage.
A Million Mouths Presetsssssss
A Thousand Julys
Now you can use Direct Messages to speak privately with a group of up to 20 people on ███████, from coworkers to partners in crime. Share ██████, show emoji and be yourself.
Princess Donut
███ doesn't call attention to itself, but people who know it tend to get along. When using ███ in public, be prepared to spark up conversations. (Adventure is sometimes inevitable.)
We’ve all struggled with stagnant tracks. No more. Add some ████████ to your music.
██████ pinpoints paramount shows happening nearby, then writes up the rundown on each. Recommendations are hand-curated by our hotshot staff of late-night musicologists and nerds who tweet about woofers.
Distilled to its essence, our philosophy is one word: with-ness.
Send noodz
Take a poster. It's made of paper. Remember paper?
Mix and match ████ components to create custom color combos. You decide, we abide. (For more details, see {customized bottle rewards.})
I like cheese that smells like feet, but I don't like feet that smell like cheese. Nothing makes sense anymore.
[ Power it up. ]
Welcome to ███████, where news breaks, friendships bloom, and stories surface in real time.
Thank you for volunteering to help us learn about how couples travel. Turns out, we already have suitcases full of insights from previous guests. So... you're off the hook. I won't need to pick your brain after all.
Blue was taken.
Chinatown's dive bars offer a different flavor of regret.
"Sensory overlords."
That rawness. Now ███████████.
Wall together now.
Our unpaid intern swears that 2 of your friends aren't afraid of the bouncer.
Know what's best.
Title: Mooch for loot.
Some historians dispute this, but no one disputes that the tunnels are creepy.
Track the fine points of parenting. Focus on the fun points.
Better stats. Better bats. Better @'s.
The coolest tech-logo tattoo!
Pro-fan. Anti fanny pack.
Take an unforgettable stroll through the most captivating neighborhood in San Francisco.
Is ██████ your secret?
.@TeamUSA is out. Who will you support now? Play our Wheel of Fandom: Tap on the ████. The team you land on is your new [WorldCup] team.
Be bowled over
are {adverb} fast-acting, like worker bees being watched by Management.
Read a book, save a brain.
Want iconic-SF secondhand style? Suit yourself.
Multi-platinum producer JR Rotem uses ██████. He makes tracks for Rihanna and Nicki Minaj. Be like JR in at least one way.
Ditch the guidebook. You've got Fernando.
Book above you.
"Drink faster."
More opinions than in the dugout.
You’ve taken photos of your meals for years Without realizing You’ve been training for this moment.
To get way too philosophical, the use of the Oxford comma is more reflective than the omission of one, and reflection is an important component of ███ and the lives of its target audience.
All set for presets
We like food, you like food, and we want you to like us.
Electronics with cords be trippin'.
███████ Logo Everybody’s talking about the bird
Stop saying you do music on the side.
This job is so bad that it’s made me hate the way Cloe pronounces “email” like it’s two distinct words. “Eeee. Mail.” Ugh.
Bring ibuprofen for aching knees and hangovers.
Surf and turf for the cost of turf and turf.
Aron Magner proves nostalgia is the keys
Catch even more than Peña. Text REDS to 40404 and follow the action on ███████.
The sexy librarian is a stereotype that checks out.
My, Grandma, what big {eyes emoji} you have.
The mezcal margarita is a little strong and smoky, but wholly refreshing. It’s the perfect drink to have after a long shift. Drink one with a friend, or anyone you'd like to get friendly with.
Connect with your cricket heroes, then tell them how they messed up. All for cricket.
Complex emotions represented by simple hashtags. These
There's fast work and there's good work. Pick one.
You’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Eucalyptus grows excitedly almost anywhere, a quiet force of nature with the delicate aroma of a day away.
The Magic of OZ
Hard work is contagious.
Great dialogue. Talk the talk. (Jess' choice.)
ONE-STOP SHOP
Past generations had to leave their studios in search of the perfect sample. Not you. Free trial. $7.99 month.
Sip craft coffees in the Castro, including a $40 cup that’s harvested from cat poop.
Blue agave, See red, Black out.
Somehow, through gooey-eyed experimentation, we’ve achieved the most enjoyable gummy in gummy history.
24 7 peer support for psychedelic experiences. Call or text when things get too weird.
████████ is enterprise software for HR and IT and People-Ops people. Sometimes other people use it, but it’s not really for them.
Week in, week out. Dine out, dine out.
Happy Hour** will make you happy for more than an hour.
Rewind for ██████ █████: Vintage Mixtape Expansion
Changes daily. Like you'd notice.
Unlike your date, human interaction isn't necessary.
are {adverb} fast-acting, like a mom when you say ouch.
A: Grandma's chatting up too many celebrities on ███████. Asking actors why they took roles in shitty movies, replying to rappers with her interpretations of certain lyrics.
Exist ents.
Guild (A flock of birds, including different species, which share the same habitat)
Celebrate your birthday right now
Where ladies are ladies and gentlemen are beasts with shirt buttons.
Traverse any terrain like a walk in the park.
FULL FLAVORS HALF NOTES
Make yard work yard play.
A stu-stu-studio tour.
Arrrrrrr, You're Drunk
Prize on the eyes.
Bake sourdough bread, then settle your head with some guided eating meditation.
Darken their dreams.
Get more sounds, and let us organize the ones you have.
It’s payday! If only you could go back for seconds.
All the blacktop visionaries,
Put the future on your wall.
SUBJECT C: ███████ gave you a makeover.
Music is a starship to other worlds, and it’s going too fast. We’ll listen.
We aren’t afraid to stumble, because every stumble can teach us something about our processes, strategies, and even ourselves.
Discover the first fizzy water that’s entirely upcycled from fruit. 100\%. Really.
Beggars can't be losers. Grovel a bit, win some bleeding-edge bytes. Or $10,000. Or both.
The flight attendant knows you’re scared of heights We know you listen to Wings
Bring brunch to new Heights.
We pickle noggins nightly.
Picnic when it matters: for brunch.
We know no tool can make great music for you, so we never call things “essential” or “must-have.” And we never pitch promises of fame or hit records.
System of record player.
Body: Want a handout? You'll need both. Beg, plead, and grovel. Win a ███████ laptop, $10,000, and nobody's respect.
It's nothing short of a drinkable epiphany. Give us this day our daily juice.
Art Attack
Click here to unmake this malady.
The Blotto Ball
Blue agave cures the blues. Blue agave causes the blues.
Your cheque is in the mail
Photos on ███████. Now you've seen everything. [Learn more]
Who needs reasons this season?
Perfect for breaking the fourth wall.
We use 62, but do your own thing.
Designed to help you keep time while you're losing track of it. This simple mindfulness aid is made to last somewhere nebulously between 5 and 10 minutes.
Now translate that meandering melody you have stuck in your skull into an 8-bar hook with barbs.
Don't get took.
Enter the address of your friendliest inbox.
Take a trip with a new take on travel.
███████ means "understood." Not an accident.
We work in Python and Scala, Redis, and bathrobes.
Hurry up. I like you in wet clothes.
Meet your host for an evening of ground-beef debauchery.
Discover the radio stations hidden between the radio stations.
Fits ice cubes, but not rapper Ice Cube
The 4-track recorder revolutionized home recording. We're the 4-track for work reporting (but with more fidelity).
Save the universe... on your DVR.
For seriously serious work.
Independent doesn’t have to mean alone.
Smudge and saturate your sounds with ████████, the multiband distortion with a wide sonic range, playable parameters, and 9 signal configurations for everything from subtle saturation to audio apocalypse.
Then we realized that they make everything in-house that could possibly made in-house. Everything.
Celebrititties.
If you date an astronaut, be sure to give her space.
Looking for a snare? Here are 98,266 options.
J’AI FAIM
(Strawberries, obvs.)
Where business isn't business as usual.
Save room for dessert, because mmmmmmmm.
Gate Keeper
I’m using the passive voice right now because I don’t want you to feel guilty. But I’m bringing that up because I really do.
"Hot pursuit."
Paging Doctor Jekyll.
Ride a chain letter.
You helped make this (without setting foot in a factory).
Find any sound in the world. And even some in the universe.
You watered this dream.
There’s an art to arps. Learn how to create them in ███████. [Watch video]
Yes, you can make reservations for pizza. [ Book a table ]
Drunken horn licks, buttery bass riffs, crunchy synth chords, snappy snares, filtered cymbals, gummy guitars, heavily swung drum loops, lo-fi field recordings, and other sounds designed for making laid-back beats.
Embrace the Madness. Game time. In real time. [ Join in ]
A: Magician posts a video of himself performing a new trick. His assistant feeds him deli meats, cheeses, breads, condiments, and toothpicks. Then he pulls a fully-made club sandwich from his mouth.
Now the only thing certain in life is taxes.
Yuzu - He tossed in some yuzu when she wasn't looking, because she's allergic.
Don't listen to Brooks.
“Change is good. Finally.”
Tell the stove to chill. You'll be back in 2 weeks.
ExoShelleton (Oy, I know.)
The sound of space(s).
Headline: ████████ is that new guy from HR that you notice at the New Year’s party. He’s funny, he dances, he recites French poetry, he remembers your dog’s name, and he makes sure everyone has a glass of champagne before midnight.
Dine out, not out of your comfort zone.
After 5 days, you might feel like you’ve lived in the Mission for 5 years.
Long-press any █████ to share it privately in a Direct Message. You won't lose your job.
Abandon the backup plan.
Me-time is for you, too.
███████████ work taglines
Don't abandon perfectly good ██████.
TITLECARD: Believe in ████████.
Book a table for any occasion. Even the ones you must rise to.
Grovel hard. Win hardware or cold, hard cash. Lose self-respect.
██████ ██████ is the cutting edge of countertop cultivation. It's self-watering, self-feeding, soilless, and simple to set up, making it perfect for space-conscious city dwellers, absent-minded gardeners, and armchair agrarians.
If we could travel back in time, we'd replace historic drinking vessels with ████ bottles and upset the thirst-time continuum.
Save it somewhere handy, get creative. Do it before reality gets creative.
Clam up at this dinner party and still have a blast.
Hold on. Lubricating valves.
Wall Drug has wooden nickels! Grabbing an armload. They make great souvenirs, and we might get stranded and need kindling.
The new ████. Hand-curated visuals for your visual cortex. ███████
Hold on. Measuring measures.
PARIS, TO A TEA
With VPS, you can make sounds like you’ve never heard before.
Reddit is the best cat gifs in the world. ██████ has the best cat sounds in the world. Put them together for max karma.
We wanted to send you a hug, but we were afraid it'd get lost in the mail.
Pretty enough for prom
Who would pirate plugins when you can get the real deal affordably through ██████ ███████████? Not us, but we’re ██████.
[Image of a horribly uninviting table in the corner of a restaurant, within inches of the Men’s Room door.] Next time, get the right table.
Video on ███████. Join the instant global film festival.
WRECK SHOP
Know how to play it safer.
A quick guide to psychedelic guides.
Your long lunch won't be nearly long enough.
Study Shakespeare.
Who kicks back to a Relax My Cat playlist? (We know you do)
███ is beautiful to behold, but invisible when you want it to be.
Do something as superfluous as Feb 29.
The tables are left empty. The restaurants lose money. Other diners wait in the parking lot, exposed to the cruelty of nature.
Winner Wonderland Add-On
When a cat has a wet dream, it’s a nightmare.
Show ████ that your secret ingredient is creativity. Win a gift certificate to a spa, snacks, and a warm, fuzzy feeling.
Neither the time, nor the place.
A Calm Tree
Optics with emotion.
Enjoy West Marin's sun-soaked people and culture with a full belly and a light head.
Make cinnamon sweaters
"█████ sincere; tweet brief; tweet seated." -Us
You've never been to Las Vegas, but your time has come. You try the volcanoes, the pyramids, the acrobatics, the fountain shows, the nightlife, and your limits. When you return home to Hawaii, you wonder where all the colors went.
"When in doubt, add butter."
Never not my problem.
Breakaway from presets with ███████, the playful but powerful soft synth that’s a pleasure to use.
Fresh Produce
[holidays] A present addressed to "You" unwraps and reveals a blinding glow. **Happy Holi-pays.
Take a photo of a photo
Dirty, juicy, and plump synth lines and analog stabs.
We believe that there is no sudden awakening, no enlightenment that hits you like an afternoon thunderstorm. It is the doing, not the having done.
██████ is unaware he's a fish. Even the schools of fish around him don't bring it home for ██████. He's too preoccupied with the exciting stuff he finds to be introspective, too engrossed in putting photos on mugs to be existential.
Lock up your office in SF. From Dubai.
Next, stop by this record shop for an equally friendly (and expensive) experience in a more intimate space. Both Amoeba and Explorist also stock cassettes, because let's face it: sometimes TLC's CrazySexyCool only sounds right on a TDK.
The San Francisco you may have heard about isn’t real — that postcarded place where riding the cable car to fisherman’s wharf and eating sourdough bread bowls means you’ve seen it all.
Need a pitcher, not a belly-itcher? Add ███████ to your lineup. Text REDS to 40404.
Plastic bottles are a horror that lasts forever. Destroy the darkness with ████.
Musical instruments for astronauts.
Use your hands
"Running makes us thirsty."
Everything but the sunburn.
██████ ██████ offers artists millions of easily downloaded sounds, from Dry claps to Buzzy 808s to 747s landing to that rare Zildjian 20-inch thin China crash, and everything in between.
Hold on. Tripling triplets.
Too many sounds.
Native is nice.
Headline: LATE CANCELLATION CANCELS RESTAURANT (an accompanying photo shows the restaurant with the doors boarded up)
Take it on a quick trip to the market or a voyage across Mars’ vast Oceanus Borealis in your dreams.
They have a wine menu with over 700 wines. (Eenie, meanie, miney, moe.)
Relax, it's still legal in most countries.
24 7 peer support for psychedelic experiences. Call or text when things go wobbly.
rock (not rock ’n’ roll, and certainly not rock and or roll)
Yes. Brainstorming is still work, especially in this drought.
Level-headed and on-the-level
Beyond Sight
Hot crab and cold beer.
Get with the programming.
Whizbang Permits
A Tender Look at the Tenderloin
See you in SF!
Table for won.
Appeal to your bass.
Organize your spice rack by feelings
Play favorites with your favorites.
Work miracles.
You'll have business lunch at a <romantic> restaurant, and fall in love with your work.
Have a nice trip.
███ is now the analog for weed.
Wrap things up at Tacolicious with some tacos (if you still have room), then somehow stand up.
Enter with your dignity, leave with our laptop. And possibly $10,000 in cash.
German chocolate cake for the cost of Australian chocolate cake.
The most dang for your dollar.
You'll eat too much <Korean barbecue>, but you won't regret it.
Short and Sour
Eat a meal fit for kings of pop-up regimes.
Give their tree some company.
Free posters. Free Boosie.
READ GOOD.
The smaller cellphones get, the further we stretch the metaphor of a "bricked" phone.
If you can't take the heat, put down the bottle.
Orwellian Nightmare
San Francisco is a trip.
An exclamation mark delivers the joke with a telling grin, and a period delivers it with a straight face.
Next, take your sandwiches and wine to this park so you can take in the sunshine while you take in your food. Heads up: this park's expansive green lawns and shady nooks make it the perfect place to take a post-sandwich nap.
“My girlfriend took our ███ to Paris, Cairo, Mexico City, and Detroit. She left me at home.”
Be vocal.
Ghost Notes
They're all happening this week and have limited availability, so don't dawdle. Sign up pronto.
You can't always get what you want. But you can sit where you want.
CPU ART IRL.
Don't get too colloquial and use the immortal American contraction, ain't (aye not?), but go ahead and snap that snare behind the beat a bit.
TEXT: Much can happen in a generation.
Retort & ███████
This approach carries the greatest risk of unintentional silliness.
Unwrap less crap.
Here we go.
Have whole world in your hands.
Future-proof your sound.
Title: No date, mo' data.
Donuts for President
Cookie Monsters
Put stuff inside me.
Where companies go public.
Whole days have been lost to Ocean Beach and its wonders. If you don't come back with some sand in your shoes, don't come back.
Forget it in the old Honda for 3 months if you want. ████ is fully dishwasher-safe and practically apocalypse-proof, so it’ll always be salvageable.
Somebody who uses ████████ cares.
You'll share your meal with a fellow diner. Kindness will survive another day.
Buy a coffee, feel guilty. Go out to eat, feel guilty. Splurge on the expensive toilet paper, feel guilty.
Photay reimagines Laraaji for real
With a squid-proof bottlecap.
and update your look.
There’s no such thing as an identical twin.
Tell us your secret talent, even if that will make it less secret.
Sound that travels.
Collections of ██████ about things you can buy. (Not love.)
"The short and long of it."
Step 6 - Die happy.
██████████████ is the new restaurant review app that lets you find out if your eyes are bigger than your stomach.
██████ isn’t weighed down by the archaic, 200-year-old financial systems of traditional banks.
Uh-huh Nuh-uh
You wanted it before you knew it existed.
Grilled octopus for the cost of grilled quadropus.
The ███ 3, poking out of a briefcase on the beach. The sun sets on the silhouettes of surfers in the background, like a beer commercial for a new generation.
Save the ██████. Use ██████████.
███ ████████ designs designery designs, but he isn't snobby about it. Sometimes he wears ties, but he'd never bring it up.
Depending on how you read them, they are either an explanation of what ████ does from day to day, or, if you read them with a hyphen implied, they describe the instruments (They work hard.)
Button Button
Billie Holiday babysat Billy Crystal.
Designed for daylight
[thanksgiving] The giant turkey float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade uses its anchor lines like marionette strings to control the people holding onto them. **It's payday. Take control.
Don’t call ahead.
Classic analog flanger. True BBD circuits. (Be impressed.)
COFFEE SO GOOD, YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL BLUSH.
Your way in when you go out.
"We built the entire business on air."
If you do win, be sure to claim your prize by 5 July 2016 or we'll give it to someone else and hope they check their email more than you.
Astounding interactions on ███████, poorly water-colorized on Tumblr.
Don’t just get an 808, Get Dilla’s 808 from an exclusive sample pack on ██████ ██████.
Drink like a fish, swim like a rock.
Get happy, holidays.
Trap Island sets sail with desert-island trap sounds
Meet, greet, chew the fat, and eat.
███████ is built to evolve with the needs of employers and employees, from first hire until they retire.
Kittens control us with cuteness.
██████████ Team hand-picking ██████ for some guy named @joesmith. Stressing over the fact that he only has 10 seconds to read between his job and his car.
Time was money
When you're done writing, go back and cut a third of your copy. There should be no fat, unless it adds significant flavor.
Be kind. Cancel.
TWEETS HAPPEN. Be prepared for when they do.
Find your inner peace with a little outside help.
B) "Like" his posts, but don't love his posts? Congratulations. You're hardcore.
Had a nightmare in which we were stranded on an island made of butterscotch cookies. We had our ████ bottles, but they were empty.
Eat like royalty. Pay with loyalty.
Free magic. (Limited availability.)
Eat well. Drink anything but. (makes reference to "well" alcohol, which may not be a thing in the UK. It's something to be avoided here.)
We're intentionally small, which enables us to do big things.
Oil and water. Sharks and Jets. Honky tonk and hip hop. Mix anything well.
The result: gummies that are fast-acting, flavorful, potent, and exhibit the kind of springy gumminess previously reserved for unicorn trampolines.
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 13 - Holy-water vessel for on-the-go exorcisms. Happy Halloween!
Eat home-cooked eats and drink home-mixed drinks while you take in the panoramic views of the city, then venture down to the street level for a night out on the town.
Feed the fire.
For 32 days, the whole world cheered, jeered, and sang together. In the one place it was possible.
That smell of paper and ink and glue is equally satisfying when it wafts off bad books.
Expect foot-stomping, harmonizing, and socializing.
Millions of punchlines a minute. [ Join in ]
A drop will do you in.
Hold on. Building scales to scale.
Possible Project: Are you a creative cook? Document your summer suppers and display them in a photo book, arranged from biggest failures to biggest flavors.
You can bring your friends, assuming you have some IRL. If not, find some.
Pet sounds.
Make Chanukah more efficient
baby changing table in men's room
Come get delightfully sticky at this pop-up barbecue feast. Sink your canines into 11-spice dry-rubbed pork belly and ribs
NFL on ███████. Stay in the pocket.
Cheer. Yell. Chant. Sing. █████.
Extra Characters
Gore-portrait painter. One-man shadow factory.
It could make anything sound better, more alive. ███████’s faithful take has the same quality and features, and even expands on the Expander filter’s functionality. If you’re not careful, you’ll fall in love.
Build your portfolio, destroy the competition. All for fun. All for free.
We like food, you like food, and we want you to like us. So we're giving away 20 exquisite dining experiences at 20 of the most celebrated restaurants in Sydney and Melbourne.
SIGN UP FOR WHOO!
By the time you’ve moved on to the main, you’ll be lost in conversation. After dinner and dessert, climb up to the roof for views and booze.
████ is fully present.
Onboarding is fun for new employees. But preparing for it isn’t fun for hiring manager, HR and IT teams. ████████ makes it less not fun for them.
Noise-canceling headphones should be rated by effectiveness, from 0 to NYC.
Dynasty stays true to his name by representing generations of genres
Rejoice until you have no voice.
There goes the neighborhoods.
Replace all zeros in code with holiday wreaths
Stocking stuff.
Taffy holidays
[Da Vinci's Ventruvian Man. Instead of being naked, he's in a HAZMAT suit.]
Mike is our customer support and morale specialist. He finds you interesting and clever. Unlike those other boys, he'll always call you back,
███████ + TV > peanut butter + jelly [ Join in ]
Stop the presses! Forever!
Feel the visuals, dude.
Without shrinking your life.
Your bread and butter.
"███ complements your lifestyle, and also your shirt."
Make your SF adventure as flexible as you are.
New on ██████: ██████████ █, ███████’s voice-modeled effects. Get a taste.
Better than socks.
The earliest eucalyptus fossil discovered is from the early Eocene, roughly 50 million years ago. Some say you can still smell its all-enveloping aroma.
Ergonomic design for better grip in stressful conditions
Do it in the dark. █████████ has both light and dark themes, so you can switch the look to match your mood.
Try ██████████ for ███████. See more, search less.
Have all the room(s) in the world.
Dine swell. (for surfing)
1440 x 900 is the only resolution we can keep. Happy New Year!
Day Dreaming Vol. 2 is for sleepy beats
We’re not your sworn enemy. We’re on the same team.
Date Night shouldn't involve Macca's.
Mission: Happy Hour
Creating a ██████ account is quicker than making a coffee
There’s a 14-day free trial, which is more than enough time to make an EP.
The resulting juice is absolutely our best remedy for bad-tasting remedies.
DOIN' DONUTS
Pie and Prosecco
Sincerely (excited for you),
Avoid NY lines, unless it's for the photo op.
You’ll find happiness at an Italian restaurant. Ask for a to-go box.
A groom at the alter alone with the priest. The priest checks his watch. Someone coughs offscreen. IMAGE FREEZES.
Setup & Punchline
Plant Plant
POV: You’re about to have the best sandwich of your life. From a restaurant around the corner That was recommended by strangers. Well, strangers who took pretty pictures.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner(s).
En brodo - She used the en brodo as the base, then added cilantro, pork skin, and chocolate chips. She was clearly cooking drunk.
I also played a little with food-related onomatopoeia, but with words like “slurp” and “munch”, that shit gets gross very quickly. I did learn that “suru suru“ is how the Japanese write out the sound of someone slurping noodles.
Rich food. (Poor you.)
After his second year of culinary school, he was committed. His body began to take the shape of ballotine.
This blank-canvas concept could even encourage something most ads would want to avoid (but never do): vandalism.
███████████ presents (pun!) Worst Gift Ever
What's the meaning of PutATacoOnIt?
Then, at 18, before I was old enough to drink, I signed away my future for a chance at one.
Your new sound: all of them.
Pure joy is difficult to articulate, so we bottled it instead. (Figuratively, of course.) In some ways, this juice is better than long weekends. Calm down. We said, in SOME ways.
Luscious pads. Beastly basses. Lion-toothed leads. Find your future sound in the critically-acclaimed wavetable synthesizer.
Culinary Kings of the Hill
Take some time for yourself. It's you o'clock somewhere.
You can't fix everything that's broken (like your family), but you can fix bugs.
Take some interest.
Designed for everyone but Janet
Chomping on sunshine.
Enter for a chance to win a laptop and the equivalent of 10,000 gifts from the dollar store.
Book a table for two at one of these lovable restaurants.
You'll make a great to toast to toast, but it’ll get a little dark.
Two thousand birds, one stone. Automate your HR & IT.
Artists named "Art" must feel so much more pressure.
"Let's be real: Paris isn't about falling in love. Not with people, anyway. It's really about falling in love with great food, and French-forward Luxembourg gives us many reasons to swoon."
Michael Jackson never found that other glove.
DEEP DRINKER
We do payroll, onboarding, and maybe just visit our site.
Teleport there with a tap. [ Download █████████ ]
Tickets to the good life.
People exploring a fantastical world constructed from simple foods. They’re climbing mountains of mashed potatoes and swimming in rivers of cucumber mint soup.
You'll order the chicken. Again.
Boredom is impossible with so many interesting people stopping by to say hi. Enjoy lively events and immersive talks by prime ministers, pro athletes, media moguls, artistic luminaries, and all other types of mold-breakers.
Possible page copy:** Why stop here for directions? (Dad wouldn't.)
DISCOVER YOUR SOUND IN A SNEEZE
Decipher the little children.
Get the tables that play hard-to-get.
Little Pillows
So we made them bigger, like large-print books.
Chair Apparent
Termites eat wood twice as fast while listening to Burzum.
It's not the heat, it's the Snappiness. Spend just $5 on any gift, such as a Flip Book, sheet of Stickers, or Photo Magnet, and get 100 4x6 Photo Prints for free!
Hold on. Expanding compressors.
Start at SF’s landmark Ferry Building and then embark to Sausalito, land of endless and enviable (and endlessly enviable) houseboats.
Like sunshine through stained glass, this Belgian dubbel casts beams of dark caramel, date, pear, bubble gum, and citrus.
Today shouldn’t cost you tomorrow.
What happens when two computer scientists decide to open a chocolate factory? People love it. You will, too, as long as you don't lick the walls. (They aren't flavored.)
I was struggling to articulate what this thing is, until I threw a ball at my dog for an hour, ate half a pizza, and watched a Tilda Swinton movie about evil children.
This is why we can have nice things.
Prime rib for the cost of subprime rib.
Our billboard struck a nerve, it seems. And so you phoned your legal teams, who started shouting, “Cease!” “Desist!” and other threats too long to list.
All Machines Rust
Refer to the █████ Treatments section for info on how to display ███████ content in a way that won't anger us.
It won't improve your snowboarding. It will improve your life.
NFL happens here. No pads necessary.
Guy runs the world's leading blog on cat costumes. Runs hashtag searches for mentions of cat costumes, then engages his readers through ███████.
You’ll probably find it’s just as enjoyable to make the music you can’t imagine, too.
Our best behavior.
It's Raymond's 2nd birthday and he's not famous. The Internet must be broken.
If you meet one of them, thank them for us. If they’re single, get their digits, too.
Classic analog flanger stomp box fx. (No stomping necessary.)
Fill your waterbed with ████. Romantic.
Be open to the possibility of playing board games and drinking whiskey, as is the tradition.
Talk amongst yourselves.
Photos on ███████. Ansel Adams never had this audience. [Learn more]
This isn't San Francisco.
Restaurants have feelings, too.
[holidays] A pie sits on a window sill, steaming. **It's payday. Cool.
The new ████ is full of fantastic features, including TV Mode. Kiss your productivity goodbye.
Do something as rare as Feb 29.
Don’t fight with rigid symbols.
Sometimes a startup shouldn't go public. [ Send a Direct Message ]
Hosts an experience for travelers, from dinner parties to underwater picnics.
If you put in your phone now, you’ll be ready for when “now” loses meaning.
Half Inch Hero
(Try stuff like: 80\% of us are musicians ourselves, we have some tea nobody else has, there are baby pigeons being raised outside of a meeting room)
Declared by scientists to be a liquid.
Discover new art through a growing network of people with good taste.
If nothing else, check out their website. It’s beautiful.
write a 1-act play that doesn't suck
Follow me on foot.
C: Bad Gift blues? Regift that sorrow and unwrap happiness. Snag a computer or cash from ███████ and █████ for having the Worst Gift Ever.
The Clink-Clink Club
It's not the thought that counts. It's the free laptop and the heap of cash.
Mildly Mellow
Expect legendary delays. Buckets, tapes, space, and everything in between.
8x8 Soft Photo Cover** This medium-size photo book features a soft custom cover. Dad might even raise your allowance. _starting at $19.95
Put the largest sample library in the smallest studio.
Theoretically part of a balanced breakfast.
Muir to Love
Serious workplace magic. No hocus pocus.
Where you can be more... you.
Welcome to ███████. Read a little, learn a lot.
We're fans of the new ███████ logo. It looks like the old ███████ logo, but with measured optimism.
Miss Robert Weeks
What's the difference between public and private? Your career. [ Send a Direct Message ]
Be remotely likable.
Safety is patriotic.
███ ████████ is a designer, but he moonlights in your mom's company.
We have a flashing red phone. Make it ring.
We knew from the offset that ██████ ███ is the one.
Eat and drink in harmony.
Come see my city.
(Blueberries, for those paying attention.)
We eat lunch at our desks so you don't.
Abbreviations or acronyms for places may not be useable, because some cities and states share abbreviations with cities in other countries. (For instance, AK represents both Alaska and Aukland.)
- Is your father skilled at making things, or making things happen? Fill his book with pics of his projects. (Yes, kids count as projects).
Every vice has its price.
Find a table for any occasion, and find an occasion for any table.
Get the ███████ Advanced bundle on ██████ ███████████ and play as you pay.
It reminds you that your best track could be your next one. And we’re excited to hear it.
Be the first to know. (For once.) [ Get ███████ ]
Keep away from children and macrame.
We proudly provide an 8\% discount to active octopi.
We also recommend a good wine from their selection, which is large but refined. (Just like Charlie.)
Notice your QB is partying pretty hard.
It auto-files your taxes. Stop auto-yawning.
"The Skyline is the limit."
Reach out to any CEO.
The syntax was slippery.
Invent a new way of walking
Ask a question + look for work + make some friends + tell your story + learn to code + find a home + write a paper + bring the kids + help with homework + find a passion + shape your future + learn to fly.
They're also just cool people. Did we mention that there are burgers?
Love thy neighbor. Even if you don't love thy neighbor's home planet.
Now with celebrities!
are {adverb} fast-acting, like a social media mob.
Reach out when you’re in the Bay Area. I’ll buy you a coffee or take you to a synth meetup. Probably not both.
It isn't cute or cool, but it works well.
Touch yourself in public.
Some ideas are more infectious than others.
Inclusive, aspirational, humorous, sometimes colloquial. (Yes, you can use emoji. 🔥👌🏽🔥)
Proper gluttony requires planning. But not much. Proper romance requires planning. But not much.
Stare master.
Eat nearly everything. Pay nearly nothing.
Make, believe.
training grenade.
including restauranteurs and chefs like you. (Even if nobody is like you.)
Rhythm and weep. Rhythmic effects on anything.
Then again, maybe it's just the pizza talking.
Your coldest friend.
New on ██████: ████████, the kick drum generator with 808 weight.
Classic claws and effects.
Save your tongue from crushing boredom.
Saltwater fish actually drink water. It's going to be hard for us to post underwater ████ bottle billboards.
Badmouth your boss's █████ with your coworkers.
Support our support line.
Keep it in a place you can still find when you lose your face.
███████ is the only global cricket viewing party.
Humans make more mistakes than our work software.
█████ ██ ████, EVEN MOTHER-IN-LAWS LIKE IT.
Happiness. Oh, the horror.
Accordion burps. Zebra chirps. And every sound between.
Play the sonic field
Your days of being single are behind you, but Vegas is sweeter with the right arm charm. When you gets hitched by Elvis, your boy's tux matches The King's sideburns. You manage to say, "I do," and you get to do a lot on your wedding night.
███ has everything you’d expect from a coworking space: quiet, sun-dappled places to work, meet, and collaborate with whiteboards and wifi, deep coffers of coffee and snacks, blah blah blah.
Upload a pic of your food. Get its good side.
TEXT: Happy 40th Anniversary, Mom and Dad. Love, Susan.
Hold on. Backing up backing tracks.
Walk in like you own the place(s).
[ Flip the switch. ]
Hey, Babycakes. Naughty by Nature is perform`ing on Sunday at St. Patrick's Cathedral. Go. 3 friends are into it. They'll be envious.
Would you like to go surfing with me?
Shoot and share video on ███████. It's finally OK to be dramatic.
.@TeamUSA is out, but the [WorldCup] is still on. Pick a team to support with our Wheel of Fandom. Cheer almost as hard. [Link to the "Wheel of Fandom" ████ video]
all the front-stoop luminaries,
For once, bad behavior gets the prize.
There’s a 1 in 7,304,506 chance we’ll play the right track. Chances are, we will.
Flutter, fizzle, and flow.
Hot Buttered Horns with Ben Wareham boasts big big brass
Tech Tip** A sleeping cat can double as a laptop stand. (Be careful. Your equipment might get scratched.)
These are some of the city's must-see sights. By "must" we mean "probably should."
Breathing room.
He replaces the painting on the wall, carefully leveling it. As soon as he does this, his phone begins to ring, muffled.
"I.O.U. an ass whuppin'."
Where news renews.
We do it for you. We adhere to a strict regimen high-intensity interval training, oatmeal baths, and DVR'd daytime TV. Our diet consists primarily of coffee, wheatgrass shots, tacos and lasagna.
Next week you'll need naps and napkins in equal measure.
Expect scrumptious fruits and veggies (this is San Francisco, after all), fresh-baked goods, and mimosassssssssss.
Wake up and smell the soda bread.
It's high time.
Try group messages on ███████. Keep your secrets secret.
█████████ customers book two tables every second. Got a minute?
Add to our adventures.
Find any stem, loop, or sound your project needs, whether it's jaw-rattling 808s, crisp closed hi-hats, aardvark bark one-shots, or sultry nose-flutes.
Be sure to ask about how he was named San Francisco's Best Bartender. Then ask him to make you a drink.
Mean Business
SHARP NOTES FLATWARE
Get Dirty Without Consequences Get dirty without worry
“Mo’ money, no problems.” (JK, don’t use this.)
Introducing ███████’s dedicated News tab. For people who are dedicated to news.
We’re working tirelessly to build ██████ now, and its birth is imminent.
Vespa Views
See what they really think.
When we really got into the finer points of soil softness, photosynthetic eukaryotic lineages, light source distance variables, and the coolness of chloroplasts, well, there was no turning back.
CARD 3 — And where you were when 32 became 2? Then one?
Find your voice (and many others) with ██████████ █, the new vocal effects engine from ███████. Transform any audio with any of the 5 voice-modeled effects. Get it now on ██████ for $9.99 month.
Who listens to slasher movie soundtracks in July? (We know you do)
Saying they do a lot is like saying New Yorkers like pizza. Sure, it’s an accurate statement, but it doesn’t really give you the full picture.
A tasty-herbs toolkit for the garden gourmet.
Exclusive art, without the exclusivity.
It's removable, too, so you can "stake" it to another pot when its special powers are needed elsewhere.
Late reservations at the latest restaurants.
Sheep in wolf clothing.
make my fist pump more bro-y
Diners Against No Shows
Title: Losers win big.
[general] A pigeon lands on a window sill, a folded note in its beak. The note unfurls, reading: **You just got paid. Coooo.
Our own experiences with psychedelics vary as much as we do, but we are united in our belief that you should never feel alone.
Go running with a robot.
Go tidepool hopping
"Even Cupid gets thirsty."
Making music machines. Shaping sound software.
Our path to enlightenment is mostly dirt, rocks, and roots. It comes with bug bites and sore muscles and unforeseen setbacks, but the upsides are mountainsides, serpentine streams, and something beyond our everyday selves.
Avoid gluten on the bus.
We add a squeeze of organic lemons, so that every sparkly sip has an energizing burst of fruit. (When life gives you lemons…)
Sample an entire chapter from any ███████ book for free. Get hooked entirely.
“Lorem ipsum something inspiring.” - Pamela
A tradition in breaking tradition.
Drop it in the dishwasher if you're a hand model or lazy. This bottle likes all baths.
Would it have been possible for these 12 artists to be nominated for a Grammy without ██████? Nobody can know for sure.
We've discovered on repeated visits that they love a cheeky customer, too.
Keep away from children and cartoon cats.
Victories are better with bright brass.
All-Weather Permits
Welcome back! It’s been ages.
The city is your oyster, but costs fewer pearls.
Our competition is cute.
[general] An old office-gray printer printing a rainbow. It stops abruptly. **It's payday. Let's jam.
Do this. Just don’t.
Learn how to see the spaces between spaces, and the difference between a good wall and a safe wall.
Read the world's front page. Try the News tab on ███████. [ Let’s go! ]
Play favorites.
███████ the right people for the job. See all you can see.
Play ping pong and eat finger-licking food beneath strings of winking lights and relaxing music, and make a few new friends.
One size fits small!
A guy on the side of the road was selling his homemade strawberry jam, so we stopped. Now Cam has a homemade stomachache.
HR can be elegant. IT can be human.
C) This is a trick question
To find great sandwiches You’ll need the best thing with sliced bread.
Chairman of the Chair
OOH and AHH over our freshly manicured Referral Program. Fancy! _LEARN MORE.
A secret side panel gives easy access to the timer and valve, so control freaks don't freak.
Tools of the trade.
Its visual pitch-tracking, intuitive interface, and plug-and-play MIDI enable you to quickly create melodies, harmonies, drones, vocal oddities, and other sounds powered by the earliest form of human expression.
You are both the future and the inventor of it. This is your workshop.
Plants need the water in ████ bottles almost as much as you do. Don't be misled by their lack of lips.
There's nobody butter.
Stay in their homes. Get tipsy at their favorite bars. Know their world, then explore some of your own.
A community center to help center the community.
Give them the gift that keeps on whatever.
Sworn to secrecy? Tell me about it. [ Send a Direct Message ]
(It’s really much simpler than it sounds.)
The Guys I Fear
Eat and drink yourself silly in the Mission.
Type-Atypicals
Sepia - Throwback, Resin, Golden Hour, Electrum
We're at the heart of the financial district in downtown SF. (Yes, it has a heart.)
The Road to OZ
Imagine writing a Monday-morning project status email from the perspective of the fictional donkey Eeyore. You have a pretty good idea what he’d say and how he’d say it.
██████ ██████ has more sounds than New York City. But not more smells. 2 month free trial, then $7.99 month. Cancel anytime.
We spiffed up your second screen
Without losing your lunch.
Thaw out a frozen workflow
████ loves nature. We’d help a tree cross the street.
Don't just sit where you fit.
Pinot or Cabernet or Chiraz or Zinfindel or Malbec (for red wines - we need a Z, after all)
Travel & Adventure: Some dads summit Everest, others bass-fish at the aquarium. Showcase your action hero’s thrilling adventures.
In fact, it uses 33\% less plastic than the average 16-ounce bottle, and thinks your jokes are hilarious. Please, please recycle. (Don't be trashy.)
Augment and obliterate your audio with ██████████ █, the powerful new voice-modeled effects engine from ███████. Get it now on ██████ for $9.99 month.
Pick the pencil that is hexagonal over the one that is round. It won’t roll off your desk. (Unless your desk is a mountain.)
Like us, you tackle admin mess—and save your clients daily stress. We’d hoped our stanning was implied. We really are on the same side!
Innovapor.
Includes sweet and savory snacks, beer and wine (for purchase), a take-home recipe card, to-go spring rolls, and new friends.
If you’re not the smartest app in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
Enjoy friends, benefits.
Don't use elipses... ever.
Four-oh-one Kapow.
Give ███████ █████ your magic.
Be afraid. Be very afraid that you'll miss all the fun.
Book a table in seconds. Have time for seconds.
25\% off, so you can help him pay for college.
Black Octopus and Basement Freaks deliver this stunning collection of moombahton makers and mashers, featuring twisted talking drums, distorted percussion, interwoven melodies, and basses that cover all the bases.
Download the free ████ app. Put life in a loop.
The unforgettable gift. (Don't forget.)
Stairway to SF
Little Man* - From the little man to the big man who made him, there are a thousand reasons for a hug. This card's another. _$1.86
We’re kinda great at making great spaces.
Build knowledge with us.
Internet? Interwet. Update your hydration status: upload a photo of you and ████ to ████████.
Discovery of the day: perspective can be found on the roof.
At first, flight may feel like a fall.
Short answer: It does. Long answer: OH MY GOD IT DOES.
Pit Mother
Masked Hero
One change can change everything.
Dragons and such
Everything tastes better on rooftops.
so you can trace its charcoal veins with your finger while you wonder how you'll ever order delivery again.
Praise your voice.
Molten chocolate cake for the cost of room-temp chocolate cake.
Harmonize with a frog.
The menu is dependent on what’s seasonal (and what’s biting), but you can expect Japanese techniques and fresh ingredients in unexpected combinations.
Eight hours of Sheep, every night.
Supply Supply
Banks are stupid
Bar Farmer
Get lost in the lines as you carefully cut out the place of your choice.
Dietary restrictions cannot be accommodated, because c'mon.
The human connection to plants is so strong, it can be felt in their absence. We don't like that.
Your dream studio is closer than your pillow.
24 7 psychedelic support. If the phone seems too weird to hold, you can put us on speaker.
Our budget for awesome is awesome.
Kicks, booms, thumps, thuds, and bumps.
Get your money's worth.
Only share things that really interest you or make you feel something. If you think the post is bullshit, others will, too.
Risk it all on alcohol.
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 211 - Shell-game substitutes for when your shells are confiscated by the police.
Fresh organic food + your love \= Bbaby Bbliss
A) Clean your inbox more than the litter box? Congratulations. You're hardcore.
Their recommendations are deeper than a Murakami well, but not always as dark.
Your mom says hi!
(We found a comprehensive review of local bathroom graffiti there.)
If you have a good waitstaff, a pessimist's glass is never half empty.
██████ in stereo.
CreateMate (though may seem like we're offering up lovebots)
Remember when Chinese food was what you ate when you didn't want pizza, and both were kind of bad? Those were dark times.
Need a snare? Here are 98,266.
Merch table at the gilman or cbgbs- shrimp cocktail
Don't use them. If you must use them, don't use them much. They can make your copy read as desperate or amateurish. Like heroin, the more you use the exclamation mark, the more it loses its effect.
San Francisco is a trip. Actually, it's many.
Rappers already rap about it!
Your reflexes are better with breakcore.
Need details to sweeten the deal?
We’re confident because we’ve done this before.
See the people behind the politics.
You change the way you knot your tie because Doug made fun of you. ████████ changes everything else.
Every person you've met, every decision you've made, every drink you've sipped... they've all led you to this can of sparkling water sourced from fruit. Nice.
Be yourself. Or anybody else. [ Join in ]
Good, for you.
Visually vicious. Tactilely tantalizing.
A boy's silhouette in the front doorway of his house, shot from inside. An elephant bull is coming through the door.
How could you possibly find the music you love in a catalogue of one billion songs? We found a way (It’s called a search bar)
Learn how we unlock the secrets of the city.
Lorem ipsummation.
If you don't get emotional about HR software, you haven't been using the right HR software.
We serve heroes and bandits and others with masks
Last-minute tables at the restaurants of the hour.
A more-perfect payroll. Payroll that practically runs itself.
The Man with Six Fingers knows you'll love having █████ █████.
Short people welcome!
Body: Tell your kids we're the Computer Fairy. Sometimes we leave $10,000 instead. (Either way, dignity costs less to replace than teeth.)
Hold on. Quantifying quantizers.
Run the length of Golden Gate Park, home to roaming bison, Japanese Tea Gardens, the aroma of eucalyptus, and too many secret spots to keep secret.
whether you're in Sydney, Seattle, or Shanghai.
Multiband distortion with true grit.
Discover the world's finest portable vapor system, and change your mind anywhere.
On the level.
Hundreds of fingers book tables every day, but don't bother to cancel their reservation when something comes up.
Has an active timeline.
Surfers don't high five, they catch waves.
[ Fly your flag ]
Pour your brain, sweat, and tears into building and burnishing our groundbreaking global network. Tackle marginally mythic challenges, like the act of reshaping human communication. From a rooftop.
Writing copy for ███ is all about writing with guard rails. We're just showing you where they are so that you can more comfortably work within them.
The Nectar of the Squads (Not really, Chase. I just needed to include this so I could reach my squadgoals)
Book like you've got it together.
Your Safety 'net. Safety First.
Header: Life, camera, action.
25\% off all artifacts of unconditional love.
It's not the thought that counts. It's the votes.
Coming back from a psychedelic journey can be like coming back from any geographical trip, if you took a vacation that was potentially confusing or precipitated realizations that made you question everything.
Legit tickets. No trench-coat smell.
Hold on. We’re getting the band back together.
North Bay, Mars
Food so good, we can't even make it look bad.
Admin work is boring. We like boredom.
Death is a thing of the passed.
Science's first grasp. Humanity's last gasp.
The best color is black. End of discussion.
Tell us about it in a ████████ comment {here}, and we’ll pick two winners. Okay? Okay.
Connect with friends and fascinating people. Get in-the-moment updates on the things that interest you. And watch events unfold — in real time — from every angle.
We wish this ad used a VPN.
Join the ride, break the cycle.
A bottomless sample supply (with plenty of bottom).
You could call it "free-range fruit water" or "the pinnacle of water-source sustainability." But “████” looks better on a can.
Show us where you've taken ███, and where ███ has taken you.
Jack introduces her to his friends. They show her their favorite orchids, and the culture that they stem. They even take her to the Painted Petal, a legendary restaurant among locals.
Fold the fabric of reality into an origami frog
From the best seat in the house to the nosebleeds.
Your favorite actor hates your favorite football team.
Piri piri - He was piri piri on the dance floor, but only so-so on the kitchen floor.
Headline: Before you can turn on the light, you have to make the switch.
"Run often. Drink oftener."
Headline: Re-imagining your imagination.
Dishes so desirable, we can't make them gross. {nice dish with an ugly flashing background}
Don’t feel the burn.
CLOSEUP of a finger tapping an phone screen. Sinister music plays behind it. Violins with a vendetta.
Where TV talks back.
It's a pink ceramic piggy bank with some sort of electronic contraption awkwardly attached to its side. It has blinking lights, antennae, and a port.
███ ████████ is a designer. Not a murderer. Not a murderer one bit.
███ ██ █████ feels like a French cafe, a meeting hall, a sexy cocktail bar, a hidden garden.
Clause and FX
Now fame-addled pros fakie grind alongside 10-year-old ankle-flick virtuosos. You, too, can hang if you're good, or if you're good with just watching.
HEADLINE: Here's how you shine.
Our greatest moments are in text editors and spreadsheets.
Meander around Angel Island in the best way possible: on a bike.
A painting in the style of Emanuel Leutze of George Washington wrestling a huge rock python. Washington is winning.
Psychedelic Speed Dial
Holds water better than your mailbox.
Celebrity news from the mouths of celebrities.
"█████, @Forrest, █████!"
Be friends with Benefits.
2M+ one-shots, loops, and stems. Every sound you could need, from 808 thonks to animal squonks. $7.99 month.
Because "CEO software" is dumb.
Where great flavors vacation.
Follow the masses!
When you come to San Francisco, you could stay on Market St, eat "gringo tacos", and do whatever is highlighted in the guidebooks.
Rope swings are the best swings.
Why do we travel? Is it to meet interesting people? [Traveler in crowded line, surrounded by people but somehow isolated] And explore incredible places? [Traveler on a crammed cable car with someone’s backpack in her face] And try new things? [Traveler eating soggy clam chowder breadbowl alone at the wharf]
ALT VISUAL: An elaborate sushi spread on a morgue's embalming table.
Look, businesses are growing creatures, and as they scale they need more features. You know as well as us it’s true, because it happened once to you.
Eat with your eyes, then with your mouth.
A chapter a day keeps the boredom at bay.
So HR and IT don't have to agree.
Where the bold have reservations.
Pause anytime. We don’t get weird about it.
Cherry-pick ███████
CARD 2 — We shared the highlights, the low kicks, the ______, and the bites.
We're especially adept at creative problem solving, but don't let that deter you. We enjoy plain old problem solving, too.
We hate to see you leave, but we love to watch you go. Sign out more slowly next time, for us.
Have some thought for your food. Make sure you cancel through the app before you put your meal through that crap.
Post audio on ███████. Throw a global listening party.
Fine dining. Refined pricing .
Short ride. Long life.
The Shortest Yard
Com Truise sampled his Juno and modular synths for this analog and anti-log collection of loops and one-shots. Ranging from the laconic to the loony
Silence any conversation when you've said and heard enough, even if the other people haven't. You'll no longer receive notifications when new messages are posted, but you'll still be able to see the conversation in your messages tab.
Headline: LATE CANCELATION CANCELS RESTAURANT (an accompanying photo shows the restaurant with the doors boarded up)
Running payroll is now easier than running. (And sitting.)
Or you might just get the meal and a wink from somebody sexy at another table. We can't tell you your future.
Your sound. Unbound.
Find your favorite statue a cool hat
Many brands make for shite work.
We’re here for you. Better stay in and work.
It’s really quite stunning, while being able to sit in a mix well. But don’t take our word for it.
Show business.
Where everything settles but the dust.
We dine together, and sometimes we whine together.
Shop till you drop. █████ till you're beat.
Sonic studies on the genes shared by your favorite genres.
Don't wait by the phone. Unless you get ████████ notifications on it.
Change the rules of cricket.
Please be seated.
Search for any sound in the world. (And many in the universe.)
Birdsday Special
hard-use genie bottle.
Where celebrities melt down.
We won't give you guff unless stuff is rough.
Nature’s cure-almost
Art. Movement.
Our site is certified inorganic.
Add some bass to your face.
Enjoy waiting? Then wait for death.
██████, our spokesfish, comes from a large family. This month, we'd like you to meet ██████'s mom.
█████████ takes note of diners who cut. Cut too many times, and you're out.
“Michael Jordan is the Michael Jordan of basketball.” - Mark Twain
More assists than Steve Nash.
███ is available in several colors and form factors, from humble to high-vis. Need stealth? Go black. Feel glamorous? Get gold. Feeling sparkly? Probably ███.
This is your call to adventure.
███████ knows best.
Office rumor: If the groundhog sees its shadow, we get the Super Bowl for 6 more weeks.
Cups and String
See every down dissected. By a dog.
Admins like us. That's enough.
They're all sick days.
Mardi Gras brings in more than $840 million each year. Get a bigger slice of that king cake with █████████.
Eat like you just discovered fire.
Too bad you can’t download better friends
Wet the rim of a glass, dip it in salt, and fill the glass with ice. Add tequila, 4 squeezes of lime juice, and the margarita mix. Agitate with vigor. If you can't muster enough vigor, drink a margarita first.
Network. Get work.
So far, we haven't found any connection between the floor manager and Bob & Mimi, the diners in question. The manager used to work with a Bob, but it's not the same one. Are we sure? Definitely. This one went by Robert.
New on ██████ - juice █████ with ███ FX
Stadium seating is nice, but your couch affords you a better view.
Discover, download, drag & drop
LP stands for Long Play. EP stands for Extended Play. TP stands for toilet paper.
The Booze Ball
Establish better boundaries.
Start off at Rosamunde Sausage Grill, which boasts 14 types of sausages (including some vegan options), then wash the tubed meat down with a drink at the classic Tornado Bar.
You have the good kind of drinking problem.
███ ████████ designs physical things in Amsterdam and virtual things on the Internet. His omnipresence is almost biblical.
And now you're scanning the label for some insight into the ingenuity within, some secret to unlock, like it isn't so very simple.
Wait for the bus, not a table.
Note that ██████ only supports 16- and 24-bit .wav files. Cool? Cool.
Rent-to Own ██████████ █ by ███████ on ██████ for $9.99 month. Sing its praises forever.
Conducting proper initial research and assessments, submitting all the right paperwork, and ensuring all your i's are dotted can make your eyes cross.
Don't just sit where you fit. Discover and book tables at {restaurant name}, or dozens of other incredible {Italian} restaurants.
Say hello to █████████ Specials, your entrée to chef-crafted menus at tasteful prices.
The lytes of electro, the essence of intoxication, it's all there.
████ Sour Citrus gummies act faster than a hotshot TV detective with only 12 minutes left. (You can’t hide is what we’re saying.)
(Also a life changer.)
It’s payday. Come out of your shell.
Pet-proof
Join our book club.
Better than using "PASSWORD".
What is that old adage? "When you love your work, set it free. If it comes back to you, revise, deliver, and invoice." Or something.
C: Unusually horrible present from Grandpa? Look a gift horse in the mouth and enter to win a computer or cash from ███████ and █████.
"I want to read ███████, but my wife just went into labor and I need to take her to the hospital."
Grow something good.
High tech.
COOK, BOOK.
Go where they go, see what they see.
Hostess hands diners menus on their way out. They take the menus, confused.
Congrats to the artists who used ██████ to earn Grammy nominations. We’ll never play you off.
These assets include but are not limited to campaign themes, headlines, t-shirts, UMF ads, one-sheets, account artwork, app store artwork, social media assets, logos, posters, presentations, invitations, product strings, account bios, emails, videos, animated GIFs, microsites, and fortune-cookie fortunes.
Throw a dinner party in the dark
We only have work friends.
We set you up, you knock 'em down.
"The first thing you learn is to look up."
But at █████, you run on ███ ███████.
Happy, happy trails to you and yours.
███████ Go players have walked over 23 billion kilometers in the last 7 years. That’s enough for a round trip to Pluto (and back there again).
We’d like to offer you 2M+ sounds. That’s every sample, loop, or one-shot you’ll ever need, and many you won’t.
The DAUGHTHER puts a plate in front of Mom. We can see that whatever the kids have cooked is both VERY COLORFUL and VERY INEDIBLE. The orange juice isn't even orange, and there might actually be chunks of crayon in the eggs.
Made with 100\% natural ingredients, so it’s high in fiber, vitamins A and C, and that unofficial vitamin called THC.
Not as creepy as ████████!
It’s only been one year and seven months, but you’ve seen me through a successful move, a failed romance, five weddings, a root canal, circular sound experiments, several musical milestones, and the defeat of my mom’s cancer.
Button: A rare, well-done gift
Is nature in your nature? Want to fill your eyes with Australia's expansive vistas and rich wildlife? This is the Australia for you. Penguins and whales and koala bears, oh my! Find flora and fauna, then relax at a sauna.
It’s polysyllabic but still fits in the mouth
"Delivery ESP."
Next week, you aren't what you eat.
J. Jahosafats
Design and copy templates. Great for anyone who thinks Madlibs should be "more ████████."
Meh, not so enlightening!
Forces windbags to be brief!
The sun is a tortilla. Probably corn.
Where seeing is disbelieving.
Try ███████. It's about what you're about.
You'll meet a mysterious waiter at dinner.
Every reusable water bottle you've lost, every plastic ring you've snipped, every jar you've repurposed... they've all led you to this can. Almost like we planned it.
███ ████████ will design anything. Need an identity for your company? Cool. Want a tattoo for your gang? Done. Need an ad for your revolution? It's already being televised.
The drone shot of San Francisco zooms out to reveal it’s a postcard on a rack in Fisherman’s Wharf.
Discover how on-point Point Reyes' food can be.
On Mondays in the office, they dissect indicas they tried over the weekend.
Cold as ice, thrice as nice.
Feeling loopy? The new ████ makes finding mesmerizing moments a cinch.
Staying Power Permits
You'll want to go back for seconds, then thirds. Think about it first.
If only ████████ could unify the country, too.
Be Short with Me
We collaborated with Mother Nature on a do-over you can drink. It's called juice, and it's delicious. Now pour it into your mouth and fist-bump the new you.
Earn 10\% interest on your crypto, forever and ever.
Our brand is a drill.
Huzzah! You've successfully created {number created} campaigns and edited {number edited} campaigns.
You could write our number in the sand of an abandoned beach, in the butt of a snowman, in the sky with a plane (very impressive, but be careful), or as a giant glyph in a corn field (seriously, maybe you shouldn’t be operating a tractor right now).
Sound like a broken record. Or anything else.
Never drink decaf again
Boom for Rent <!— If we mention rent without the full ███████████, it just feels like another subscription service —>
Traveling to [San Francisco]? You're not the only one. [ Reserve a table ]
The second-best experience you can have in a barn.
The walls should be moving.
Suck our bones.
Mission in the Mission
Plus it makes everything feel a little like Schoolhouse Rock. (Conjunction Junction IS my function.)
101 Dalmatians
[general] A bed, neatly made. **It's payday. You made it.
It’s your job to remind them we’re worth keeping around, and to do it without feeling slimy in the process.
Blue crab for the cost of Red Lobster.
Probably not. These restaurants are already bending over backward to show you a good time. Don’t be difficult and change the details before you've even won the table. Just enter to win a different mind-expanding experience and enjoy yourself for once.
Flight Patterns
███████ helps old ladies cross the information superhighway.
Power to the People Ops.
We made some new discoveries. Contain yourself.
A block-knocking kick drum generator.
You're more fun when you drink.
Noodles and Scruff will also be attending, so diners need to be okay with small dogs.
Fortunately, if ██████ were a living, breathing being, it wouldn’t be Eeyore.
Donut Scheme
it tastes tart and honeyed, like a grapefruit that fell in love.
Meet ████████. A block-knocking kick generator.
Otherwise muddy our marks
{Image: SF skyline between hamburger buns.} Eat [San Francisco].
You must be high.
Oh, and it’s free.
███████ fights doubt with color and copy.
We automate everything at work. Except the coffee.
Dog-earing a page is folding down the corner to mark your spot. Cat-earing a page is tearing it to pieces. (We don't recommend either.)
"Everyone's got an opinion. What's yours?"
German pancakes for the cost of toaster waffles.
Twist and shout!
██████ you missed that you shouldn't have.
Stay with locals who know the neighborhoods. Eat vegetables from their gardens. Swap stories with their friends.
The San Francisco you heard about is done. Played out. Postcarded.
Our site is new. So is our logo.
Or maybe you had a trip that was particularly mind-blowing, so much so that everything is sideways.
[Evolutionary chart. Starts with Lucy, hunched over. Goes up through modern man, then ends with a guy in a lab coat, hunched over a microscope.]
Your serial number for █████. Our gratitude forever.
But after a few drinks we'd probably tell you we design software and systems that refine the human experience.
█████ ██ ████, YOU'LL HIDE IT FROM FRIENDS.
Introducing ██████████. It's ███████, distilled. [ Turn on ██████████ ]
████████ can onboard new hires,
The any-ticket-you-want savant.
Vacuum the cookie crumbs out of my car
Real estate, boom.
Our case of the Mondays is in the shop. We're getting its hinges oiled and its latch replaced.
Stop stealing toilet paper from the executive restroom
Follow Ghana on ███████. Scream with your thumbs. Text GOAL to 40404.
“Watch your cash stack.”
Glaze of Glory
██████ Math: your photos + your imagination + ████████ \= beautiful creations
The car is directing us to the nearest bed & breakfast. "Turn right at the bus stop with an old man napping on the bench."
This is a limited-time offer, so act before we go through this whole crate of halves.
whether it’s a simple concept or a concept album.
This isn’t a real email address.
Bathside Beatitude Kit
They're here. Look at our update
Collections of ██████ about wantable wares.
I did learn that “suru suru“ is how the Japanese write out the sound of someone slurping noodles.
HR wants to see us.
Don't look now, but another person just joined this ████████.
One thing that is always served is wine. Lots of wine.
Unfortunately, most tourists don't see this. They see Fisherman's Wharf from a tour bus and eat lukewarm chowder from sourdough bread bowls.
Change your mind.
Her days of being single are behind her, but Vegas is sweeter with the right arm charm. When she gets hitched by Elvis, her hubby's tux matches The King's sideburns. She manages to say, "I do," and she gets to do a lot on her wedding night.
Bring a camera or phone to capture momentous moments, and leave with the confidence and skills to approach people on the street.
Andrew, Mozart is bathing citizens in sonic beauty tonight at CBGB's. Take somebody special: yourself. Also take the 2 special friends who might be into it.
Want to be gentler on the planet with fruit water that fizzes? Cool. Drink the contents of this can. Thank you in advance.
Handheld hovercrafts.
Hold on. Parsing polyrhythms.
Your dinner will star Cioppinno, a local favorite, and the supporting rolls will be filled by other dishes and drinks that have become classics in here.
Thank God It's Finished
Seriously, no takebacks.
So many booms. Just as many bams. Probably too much bass. Better building blocks for building better beats.
Music is the soundtrack to our mundane moments... Our intense moments. ...and our transcendent moments. (As well as every other moment in the mix.)
Give them Santa's beard.
Learn to throw a spoon with accuracy
██████ ███████████: Our plugins have free trials. The payments plans have a pause button. We just want you to be happy.
Ainsley, seats 2
Bomb swab TSA table - steak with steak knife
A1. The competition that celebrates makeup effects that affect.
HEADLINE: Your future is brighter.
It's true love. Time for ████ to meet the parents?
Traffic, sick ferret, or maybe a flat tire? Dunno, but something came up and your meeting will start a bit late.
Bound by glory.
Santa's beard is vapor.
16 sequenced delay lines. 16 kajillion possibilities.
Keep away from children and Uncle George.
Have the courage of your conditions.
Taste tequila until you can't.
Trade him for a player who doesn't █████ after midnight.
Try Mexican-American fusion, then taco bout it.
Hold on. Swapping 404s with 808s.
The common anatomy of the music we love.
What a tall drink of water.
Large party? No problem. █████ helps you split the bill and eliminates after-dinner headaches. (Unless they're ice-cream headaches.)
Send and electronically endorse every document and form your company uses, from optimistic offer letters for new hires to severance packages for employees you’re sad to see go.
Key Ring (if we don't go with Keys for the suite name)
This breakthrough might break you.
Off the Menu
Tradition is trash
Be all. Or end all.
Experience the Mission the way most locals do: at 7 miles per hour, on a bike.
Find a table. Also: $250.
COPY: You can book this table more quickly than you can turn this page.
It's technically a tapas bar, serving snacks worthy of Shakespearean sonnets
Every side is your good side. Share photos on ███████. [Learn more]
We don’t know if you’ve been keeping track, but you’ve reserved _____ homes in the last ____ years! That’s truly incredible.
FACT: Agriculture is responsible for about 70\% of the world’s water usage. Users of ████ bottles account for most of the rest.
Eat well, without reservations.
[general] Office chair on casters roll loop-de-loops around each other. **It's payday. Let's roll.
Past Masters
Beth’s of dependents changes (long story). ████████ changes everything else.
SUBHEAD: For your eyes only.
Trick question. They're one and the same. How old do you think we are?
That’s all for the moment. Check back for updates.
Up expense limit in time for last minute international trip. ████████ changes everything.
Welcome back. Let’s skip the hugs.
Professionally saucy.
Better than standing in the
"Letter Prefect."
The ███████ Satellite R845 is our thinnest and lightest 14" laptop ever. It boasts the power, speed, and durability to catch the eye of your least covetous neighbor.
█████████ lets you quickly make reservations at your favorite restaurants, so you don't throw your time down the toilet.
Inforgration Infogration
The only thing worse than a pan flute is a pandemic.
The best things in life are free. – Hugs – The night sky – An intelligent shuffle feature that reacts to your listening habits
Stay in the know, on the go.
Expedition logs will follow at infrequent intervals.
The other high holidays.
No, unless by "email" you mean filing a ticket with go creative.
Study here. Everyone needs a quiet place to think.
Get in touch with your favorite GIFs.
Refine, then refine with refinement.
You + ██████ \= Grammy
At Any Hourglass
Award-winning synth. Rewarding sounds.
Do more human work.
This app finds you better BBQ But it won’t keep the sauce off your phone. You’ll need a napkin app for that.
Watch your money grow in real time. Literally.
Up and away.
27,923 people are talking trash on your team. What are you doing?
Move the walls.
Crush all cubicles.
Francisco opens his MT notebook, like he’s starting a new chapter of his trip.
Rediscover your buried sounds.
The new ████. Start believing in stop-motion. ███████
Recovery Brunch in NOPA
Meet Mother Nature's red-headed stepchild. Scratch that. Meet Mother Nature's fresh, delicious, and drinkable red-headed stepchild. Woo, mama.
Very few genres are hyphenated anymore, with the exceptions listed above. A superfluous hyphen can feel as antiquated as the one in to-morrow. When in doubt, leave it out.
Pavlova - Have you tried making meringue in this humidity? That's why you don't see pavlova in Florida.
A hit can be produced in a bedroom, a garage, or even in transit.
███████ rewards good deeds with eye candy.
Snag a table for 2 at Alta, the restaurant locals are willing to wait in line for.
Make a pizza with everything on it. Eat half the universe, then put the other half in the fridge.
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 71 - Water tower for ladybugs.
Amplify your awesomeness. Pin your favorite █████ to the top of your profile, so nobody misses it. Swap it out with something shinier anytime you want.
4. Latte Mug (17oz): Start Dad's day in the largest way. Adorn this massive mug with your memories. Holds colossal coffees and espresso shots for Paul Bunyan. _starting at $19.99
Direct Messages no longer have a 140-character limit. But don't tell Innes.
You're not a vulture. Have some culture.
Admins love ████████. HR and IT people, mostly. Marketing people don’t get it.
We can't use brown, white, or black, as those are already code words for harder substances. (Heroin, cocaine, and coffee.)
The average company uses 62. (We use 45.)
Everyone remembers where they met ███. Where did you?
We are equally driven by data and desire.
It's not where you go, it's who you know there.
Exployee Syncing
Your meal ticket.
I vow to chew with my mouth closed
Download the free ████ app. Replay the replays.
You could call it "free-range fruit water" or "the pinnacle of beverage ingenuity." But “████” looks better on a can.
Breakthrough vapor.
Enhanced by chants.
Many houseplants make an indoor jungle, without the big cats or nightmarish bugs. And who doesn't want an indoor jungle?
Missing persons fliers. "Have you seen this kid?"
Your donations may result in better visuals.
I'm sleeping with someone on your team. May I stop by and ask for a "favor?"
Play like you mean it. Pay like you don't.
Umami in Melbourne.
sorted sweaters at the Larkin Street Center, had a blast
Those who can, Dougie. Those who can't, teach.
I need to sleep. I never thought that my worst nightmare would be not having a chance to have one.
Health peddler.
Your body is 82\% ████.
It can automate admin work. Stop yawning.
Fog machines.
We estimate that 7 members of your posse are game.
Celebrate whatever.
Tell your stove to chill. You'll be back in 2 weeks.
No, you can't taste the electrolytes.
Craft Beer: from Ale to Zeitgeist
You feel like time is a construct best ignored. We’re available 24 7.
Photo Panels** Display your father in all his glory on a wood photo panel. A great alternative to framed photos, and ideal for desks, bookshelves, and Dad's workshop. _starting at $14.99
COPY: Be still, life.
You can use emoji if you want, but it won't increase your chances of winning.
Changes every day. You should, too.
Flexible FX to fortify your sounds
The Giggle Juice Jump
The stable doors open and the kid rides out onto a horse run. He’s surrounded by the Manhattan skyline.
Dome Improvement (very much 90s battle rapper wordplay)
Dine in total darkness and unlock the rest of your senses.
This ad is too short for real info. Our site's better.
Save it on your phone, bake it in a pie, or write it in the sky.
A community united by curiosity.
Relieve some pressure.
The result is fencing that's more durable, easier to install, and almost pretty enough for prom.
██████████ █ sounds great on everything: choirs, pianos, bass guitars, a voicemail from Mom, and anything else you feed it.
Go to the places they go, avoid the the places they don’t.
Swipe your tickets in just a few taps with the ████████ app. (No repelling necessary.)
My shaman is on vacation.
Say NO to FOMO.
one-man jug band.
Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.
See the parts of the city you won’t find in postcards, and get a more complete glimpse of the city’s people and cultures.
The bell of the crystal ball.
No matter what the details of the project, our goal remains granite: to make a space the place for you.
So cool, we store your ██████ on a mountaintop!
Hold on. Paying the DJ.
Movin’ On Up at Castle Rock
Oh, and you’ll get to eat.
██████ ███████████ has premium plugins, affordable monthly plans with a “pause” button, and free trials. You has to try.
████████ works from home.
Practice your Spanish (even if it’s horrible) over empanadas, chorizo, colita de cuidril reliena, creamy smoked mashed potatoes, and Argentinian ricotta cake with dulce de leche.
Put some pepper in your patches with any combination of the ten built-in effects. Reorder the effects chain to optimize your audio. Add reverb, compression, phasing, EQ, distortion, and more.
SENTENCE WAS THE CASE THEY GAVE ME
[winter] A mug of hot cocoa. Marshmallows drop in, one by one. As they hit the cocoa, they turn into the Thumbs Up emoji. **It's payday. Life just got a little bit sweeter.
It’s basically the Sample Library of Congress.
We made a small change to Direct Messages, but it's kind of a big deal.
You are cordially invited to join forces with █████████ for the most memorable (and lucrative) Restaurant Week ever.
The tradition of breaking it.
The locale of WOW.
The more we know.
Your parents still aren't on it!
It requires fewer muscles to enter than it does to frown.
Give presence.
Prove which came first: the chicken or the egg nog
- Pop art (for Pop)
You chose the "Mission Local" perspective of SF, so we're whipping up an adventure that has more depth than a 9-layer burrito from Taqueria Cancún. Check back soon for updates.
If they’re quotable, they aren’t @-able.
Fresh pasta and short ribs that stick to your ribs.
Drinks don’t have to end like that.
Blood bros at live shows.
Kinda thick? Get the skinny from a staff member who will talk slowly.
Noodles nurtured with superfoods.
Chef asks the dishwasher. Nope.
Headline: True friends are forever, free prints aren't.
Acronyms we use, FWIW: HR, IT, CEO, BOR, ROI, WFH, CMO, OOO.
I was a philosophy major. I get paid minimum wage to teach kids about free will.
Show diners your special. Show diners you're special.
██████ lets you spend your crypto anywhere and on anything, like a magical internet credit card.
If it ain't woke, don't nix it.
Mousepad** Adorn a mousepad with a photo of your family to remind Dad why he goes to work, and why he comes home afterward. _$9.99
Get some space.
To be fair, they can see through our fences, but not the guarantee behind them: that they are the most durable and dynamic around.
Green Grill: For the father whose cooking improves when he's outside. Features one photo, well-done. As low as $1.95.
All ingredients, drinks, and conversation will be locally sourced.
Sample several burgers at different places and probably die happy.
Romeo & Mercutio
Mint settles stomachs, aids digestion, and smells like a new relationship.
Some heroes wear capes. Others are content with flashy socks.
The future is your present.
from Kigali to Kansas City.
Get full access to the largest sound library in the world. 1 month free trial, then $7.99 month. No traps. (Just trap drums.
Then learn that your head is lighter when you stand up.
Hold on. We’re snaring snares.
Bah bah Black Sheep, have you any wine?
A Grammy-nominated track was mixed here.
Find a business partner.
Still V. Chill
Where relationships get real.
Our chilled spirits have teeth chattering.
Season’s Sweetings
So while you’re getting one-on-one advice on your career or your cashew collection, you’re giving back, too.
██████ is hand-curated by our crackerjack staff of backstage ear-benders, late-night musicologists, and nerds who tweet about woofers. Recommendations aren't based on weird algorithms, just weird rhythms.
Talk to your parents about ███████.
"42\% of teenagers are experimenting with snowboarding. Talk to your children about alternative lifestyles before it's too late."
[Traveler eating soggy clam chowder breadbowl alone at the wharf]
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 76 - Invisible ship in a bottle
Just in time for festival season, we made a pack with the explicit intent to be a crowd pleaser, and when it wasn’t we made it again, and then with the help of Marie Kondo, we got rid of everything that didn’t spark joy.
I'm so happy. Someone drive me home.
We decided to send our reply in verse
Speak for yourselves.
Something like 5 or 6 of your friends are bringing earplugs. Bring the noise.
Match your bottle to your socks for that company mixer.
Your will. Our grill.
The chef will wave at you, but you won't see her.
You can manage.
See exclusive behind-the-screams pics, clips, and conversations from the show. Never sleep again.
Maybe you weren’t looking for fruit-sourced fizzy water, but here you are.
Onboard 50 employees before lunch. ████████ changes everything.
"Give ████ a big wet one."
Hardware and software for forward music.
There are endless reasons to love ████, but space is limited so here are a few: it's delicious, it's good for you, and it's revolutionary for the environment.
Enjoy running again.
Out of all the plants, humans need the most water. (Though you could use a little less soil, buddy.)
"I can't block you."
Our tumbler is ergonomically shaped with a delicately textured finish, so you’ll probably touch it more than you should.
The ticket to every ticket.
Electrolytes? Somebody give somebody a raise.
Nerds with attitude.
Baby biographer.
Save the day with ██████.
██████ ███████████: We’re the A-team, but for plugins. Ask us anything at anytime.
Embrace the hammock.
Outside foods. Outsider foodies.
████████'s I.T. Factor
██████ and Akai are BFFs
Most administrative work is work you’d rather not do. That’s why we do what we do.
Hold on. Putting hands together.
Fight █████ Ignorance
I'm sleeping with someone on your team. May I stop by and ask for a "favor?" What's your desk address? Need it for HR.
Pass the potatoes.
Stay on the level(s).
Acquire tastes.
Yes yes health foods.
Official ███████ account. ██████ cover shop talk, purchase pontification and retail recon.
Our dating automation is in dev.
██████ ███████████ has videos and tutorials for all its plugins. Plus a free trial. Plus no commitments. Plus more plusses.
Don’t worry, there won’t be unscheduled stops with Gilligan.
It’s been too long. You’re way too close.
See the most mural'ed city in America the way Fnnch does: through a haze of aerosol and fog.
It's like drinking a victory garden, except without all that dirt.
I, of the storm.
Sound Obsessed
Have your prayers answered by the cricket gods. Follow cricket on ███████.
Tune in to our media guidelines for details on how to represent ███████ properly in various forms of broadcast media.
Don't get caught with a bad look. Discover and book tables at the best restaurants in {Melbourne}.
Don't be caught out.
██████ is a sonic palate. Be Bob Ross. Or Rick Ross. Or Ross from Friends.
Every Third Comma Attends Oxford
Wish you weren't here.
Join the flock. Improve the way hundreds of millions of people communicate. Improve yourself along the way.
Build buildings without the paperwork.
To Great Effect(s)
Your long lunch won't be long enough. (37) ____ tables
Vitamin-C Glee
Puff, puff, give.
Drink the drink. Save the world.
Nature’s mellow fellow.
Duck pizza for the cost of yuck pizza.
Jingle Botanicals
So far, we haven't found any connection between the floor manager and Bob & Mimi, the diners in question. The manager used to work with a Bob, but it's not the same one.
Malay gets Grammys, collaborates with Frank Ocean and John Legend, and uses ██████. Be like Malay in at least one way.
Coast because you care.
We'll help you lose your baggage.
Watch out for piranhas!
Greeting Card** A picture is worth a thousand words. Combine one with a few phrases of your own, and convince your dad you're the strong, nearly-silent type. _starting at $1.45 per card
Ping pong balls are extremely flammable.
Made right in front of you. Behind you would be weird.
████████ Journey guides can help you make sense of your senses, pinpoint insights, and find practical ways to integrate those insights into your life.
Designed for daiquiries and disaster,
To activate ██████████, enter the launch code. If you're an unauthorized operator, enter your email instead.
"New-comics hangover" always lasts until Thursday evening. Something in the ink.
Look how you like.
Heads in the Fog
John Slater became a CD after the breakup of his once-popular boy band, Rip Curls. He knows 93 different ways to say, "Hey, girl."
Chairs! (Or whatever.)
Real-time phone, text, and chat support for times when time doesn't seem real.
Catching Waves
The ocean is your oyster.
Give every idea some air.
24 7 peer support for psychedelic experiences. The other kind of voice guidance.
███████ is the perfect World Cup companion. Stunning photos, vibrant videos, and in-the-moment commentary place you on the pitch, no matter where you sit. Follow your favorite players and teams for instant insights into the beautiful game.
Give joy. Just add water.
Our studio is where we draw the line.
Like a trackpad star.
Rae asserts that █████████ is only an illusion, a tissue-thin construct of my mind. She reassures me that no matter how things feel right now, everything will be okay if I just drink this warm glass of milk and go back to sleep.
████ Sweet Strawberry gummies act faster than a real cheetah in a Broadway production of Cats. (The show will start quickly is what we’re saying.)
Make Restaurant Week strong.
CARD 2 — Together we witness the spectacular and the strange.
Met the SO's parents. Bought them supper. Saw a ram.
What was your favorite music when you were a teenager? Can you stand it now?
12x12 Photo Book** Large and lively. Perfect for fathers with poor eyesight, big hands, or big memories. _starting at $44.99
Sound good?
Unfortunately, most visitors only see Fisherman's Wharf from a tour bus and eat lukewarm chowder from sourdough bread bowls.
Never call people who use ██████ “users”. It makes them sound like addicts.
Some said our search would be fruitless, but instead it led us to… fruit.
The Holiday-Special Special Treatment
[ @beachballco - What type of beachball should we discount? ]
Before you take off, leave your email.
Dark-haired servers will want to spoon with you.
Introduce your dad to @yourmom.
Vox machina, vox populi.
Mix and match ████ components to create custom color combos. You decide, we abide.
Let the intern █████ today, but not tomorrow.
We started very small in 1992. Back then, our main operation was just 3 people and a gassy farm dog named Jerry. Now we’re over 200 strong. (Jerry would be proud.)
Pair Off (As in: a special pairing of off-the-menu comestibles)
Is your father skilled at making things, or making things happen? Fill his book with photos of his projects. (Yes, kids count as projects).
My cousin can eat nine.
Figure out what ducks won’t eat
We take your busy work. Seriously.
Strap made from recycled plastic bottles. (How meta.)
Attend the Oscars in your pajamas. [34]
There goes the neighborhood.
Soul Surplus launches in (every) style
Social copy is aspirational, inclusive, and sometimes goofy. Feel free to use emojis and hashtags, but use them sparingly. Nothing says desperate like too many hashtags.
Perform sun salutations that are closer to it.
Sub mayo
Hard look. Soft touch.
Merry bring-a-pine-tree-inside-and-made-to-look-like-it's-burning season. Happy watch-sports-awkwardly-with-your-uncle season. Happy scrape windshield season. Happy seeing your breath season. Happy ice-skating-at-the-mall-season.
Can touch this.
Every night, thousands of tables are reserved, only to be cast aside without cancellation when the diners' plans change.
"If you feel like The Man is keeping you down, find the woman."
Diaper-changing station in an airport bathroom - salad
Plug in to possibility.
First, call in dead to work. Rent and bills can wait.
Creative work is about deconstructing ideas to their essential elements. Then making sure those elements are essential.
We live on the line.
Talented with tickets.
Finally, you’ll visit the Cliff House for a Mark-Twain-sanctioned drink.
Obsessively tracking the spellbinding sounds in our favorite tracks.
{Photo of Brier posing with a bunch of friends. Everybody's head has been replaced with tiny Angora rabbit heads. (Except Brier's.)}
Be a change agent, not a support agent.
Day in Orange: Combine with five of your favorite memories together. Orange you glad you have your Dad? As low as $2.05.
████ is earth-friendly water + friend-friendly sparkles
Drink often. Especially around relatives.
Better employee benefits, from health insurance to 401k. Better employee benefits. Employee benefits, with benefits. Benefits, with benefits.
Ultimates are better with a bang.
We can’t draw, anyway.
COPY: You eat food every day. Don't eat everyday food.
Participate in the “Host’s Questionnaire,” which is the Victorian-era equivalent of a ████████ personality quiz.
Your Holiday Backup Plan(ts)
No body is safe.
RT if you've been attacked by hellbugs while you were siphoning fuel from a tank.
If an ████ bottle genie grants you a wish, wish for another bottle. Another bottle means another genie, and genies are better than TV.
You'll over-salt a soup.
██████ ██████ has millions of kicks, snares, claps, hats, bells, toms, foley, hand drums, orchestral and environmental percussion, and other things that hit.
R.A.R.E. - Restaurants Against Rude Eaters
She’ll feed you appetizers, entrees, and desserts that delight the senses and put you in that fall-asleep-on-a-sofa mode.
████████’s brand color is yellow. Our marketing people call it “goldenrod”, but it’s yellow.
Ready, set, DIVE
(You can’t spell “sandwich” without “sand,” but that doesn’t mean you can’t eat one without it.)
We don't have work friends.
Every sound imaginable. Many that aren’t.
Up all night. Not enough sheep.
You are what you eat. Be rare.
We’re bad at cute.
Play touch football. Tap to predict the champs.
are {adverb} fast-acting, like a dog when it rains cats.
The best vacations feel a little like home.
Describe yourself in a sentence. Be flattering.
For your consideration
HR and IT, sitting in a tree.
BOLD PLATED
Sweat the Technique
Bliss comes in many forms. This one just happens to be a liquid. That means we can bottle it and you can drink it. Careful, friend. That also means somebody else can drink it.
KISSED BY FIRE
Get to know tequila more intimately than when you were in college.
Some women are too sweet.
Fragile. Do not bend. Do not break. Do not tear. Do not burn. Do not detonate. Do not crush. Do not explode. Do not toss. Do not rough up. Do not neglect. Do not forsake. Do not ignore. Do not stomp. Do not smash.
Merry living-room conifer.
Go to dinner with an astronaut.
It is simultaneously beautiful, messy, frenetic, and invigorating. And it won't fit on a postcard.
C) The kitchen sink
See how a little power behind your pedals can flatten out San Francisco’s hills.
The Butterfly Steak Effect (aka Domino Effect)
NFL on ███████. Intercept the action.
Fit for your highness.
Bleater of the pack.
Plus a free trial. Plus affordable monthly payments. Plus why are you waiting?
Pathetic behavior not PC? That's okay, it'll help you win one.
Abhik Mukherjee makes us sympathetic to his strings
Meet the people, see the places, and eat the food I find essential to SF's culinary culture. (Save room for dessert.)
Official ████ Bucket Brigade
We use it for longer lunches.
Hold on. Pruning stems.
Your wisdom is requested.
Hold on. Meddling with midi.
Breaking down the bones, muscle, and connective tissue of our favorite joints. From the selection and preparation of samples to the stories of the sounds that defined whole genres.
Video on ███████. Your followers will pay for the whole seat, but they'll only use the edge.
Pairs perfectly with everything, from post-surfing sandwiches to basecamp barbecue. It even tastes great at home, if you must drink it there.
Because our app reaches more people than your chalkboard.
Once you complete your scheduled ████████, your meeting fee goes to the charity of your choice (minus what we need to keep the lights on).
One for me. One for you. Party for two.
Think of your coach as your co-pilot. They don’t tell you where to go, but they support and empower you to chart the course that’s right for you.
Transformational office tools: the paperclip, the fax machine, ████████.
Feel like you're on the gridiron, even if you're ironing off the grid.
Yes, you can make reservations for sourdough. [ Book a table ]
Crypto a latte.
Valentine's Day is 8 days away. (Watching a rom-com is not romantic. Try dinner instead.)
See the city, not the postcard.
Items from everyday Votan living, auctioned on Ebay.
Unnecessary verbosity is a polysyllabic atrocity
You can do anything and everything you want with them (except just re-assemble the original songs or post them online as a sample - that would be uncool and not permitted by the Terms of Service).
The bottle is extraordinary, which makes you extraordinary. Or, at least, less thirsty.
Have the magic touch.
Listen to your favorite song while you’re doing all of this. It probably won’t fix the issue, but it’s a good song and shhhh - the best part is coming up.
██████ is only as good as your time with it.
████████ is for doing work at work. Use it at home if you work from there, but otherwise just use it at work.
A flock that sweats together sticks together.
The your-band-is-optional DAW.
Sadly, you’ve probably never seen the real San Francisco. Even if you’ve visited.
Ride slow, die old.
are {adverb} fast-acting, like chipmunks doing improv.
Stop stacking cups.
SOUP SO GOOD, YOU'LL HIGH-FIVE YOUR SPOON.
Hold on. Interpreting cymbals.
High-five the moon
██████ █████ are multi-day vacations, with accommodations (that’s you) and social activities that show the best of your city.
Inspire exploration through innovation and indica.
A groom at the altar alone with the priest. The priest checks his watch. Someone coughs offscreen. IMAGE FREEZES.
(Less flippant alternatives to “You’re caught up.”)
Get into Ian’s music (the other way).
Monaco’s national orchestra is bigger than its army.
Trust your eyes, not your friend.
Shoot or Sugar
{Note: They did not like the bios I wrote for them, so these are cleaned up copies of their own compositions, with "light edits." See other "████████ bios" file for my own goodness. AND THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T WRITE NICE THINGS.}
Without a shrink.
Pounds of ██████
Beach tacos are street tacos on vacation.
Goodreads is great, but it should really be called Bookface.
Crop 25\% off your next photo calendar
Want a ██████ ███████████ plugin, but don’t know where to begin? Start with one of our exclusive videos or tutorials. The neighbors will notice you in no time.
"MOJO appears as if it's nestled inside a warehouse in Brooklyn, like some nom-nom nesting doll of coolness. Most Brooklyn warehouses don't smell of caramelizing onions and roasting pork and garlic, though."
Exquisite vices for the discerning drunk.
Before you make something, planet.
You can't afford to move here.
View vineyards and enjoy wine while being pulled by large machinery.
Abra cadabra, your afternoon vanished.
Take a poster. We have too many.
Try finger-food painting
Write your old cousin Opal to thank her for that "Ferrets of the World" wall calendar.
Have a memorable afternoon doing something quintessentially San Francisco, and with just the right amount of danger. The details of this event are a surprise, but rest assured that high-fives will follow.
FEATURE COMFORTS
"Maha's quiet culinary innovation has earned the restaurant one Chef’s Hat in The Age Good Food Guide every year since 2009, but that shouldn't really concern you. What should matter is the food. And the food here matters."
Find exactly what you're looking for.
Rejoice! You found ████, the sparkliest sparkling fruit water to ever wet whistles. You should celebrate with a drink.
2 days until Valentine's Day. It's never too late for romance. (Except the day after. That's too late.)
Drink from my cup, but stay off my mountain.
From now on, you will dine divinely.
clickery ("Everything, just clicks.")
See something? Say something.
Get blasted with us.
The foodies’ new obsession isn’t a dish.
Try ██████████ for ███████. See the good in everything.
Ring & Run
Strangely, the means to the end was more fulfilling than the end itself.
A floor-splitting audio amalgam of strange synths, unusual drums, and nasty noise boxes with just the right oomph.
Power to the people ops
Fish Like a Drink
Sci-fi. Lo-fi. Kiss your other synths bye-bye.
(Spend the whole trip in bed if you want. It's why room service was invented.)
Our password application prohibits weak employee passwords. Like “PASSWORD”.
Skip the lines.
What do you do if there's a drummer on your porch?
FIGHT FOMO.
It's cold outside. Bundle up with the ███ FX bundle. Top-shelf effects. Free trial for the timid. Less commitment than a collab with a snowman in the spring.
Presents of mind.
Snappiness within.
Impact XT is part drum machine, part polyrhythmic playground
Even if your audience forgets their night, they won’t forget your set or the amazing music you’ll make with this comprehensive festival pack that will surely keep them reeling... in ecstasy.
Almost never surrender.
Message from a bottle.
A bottomless sample supply
Want to be gentler on the planet? Easy. Try this fruit water that fizzes. Thank you in advance.
Frosting is a lie. It’s not even cold.
No photos compressed, no videos smooshed. Everything big and beautiful, just like Mom.
[4th of July Summer] A plastic fork bends its middle tines down so that it looks like devil horns. **It's payday. Fork things up.
Give a tip, save a trip.
Ms. Call (too close to MS, as in Microsoft?)
We are infra.
[general] A gold-yellow banana quickly peels itself, then it redresses in a ████████-red peel. It begins to turn in front of a mirror, admiring its new look. **It’s payday. Enjoy yourself.
Gateway (potentially negative connotation, but a fave)
Your favorite employee has a real husband and a work husband. Know which affects what.
Replace Santa with a network of drones
Three experts in space from every era, from NASA to Tesla.
Leave the Slang to Lil Yachty
Instead of writing this ad, we built some fences.
24 7 peer support for psychedelic experiences. We've been there, whatever "there" even means.
Don't even. Nothing good ever came out of a fanny pack.
You paid our water bill.
Pride's nice for keeping that chin up, but it won't buy you stuff.
Audeobox: Wait for It gets a rise with drops
Take a seat. Or several.
Keep back. Nobody likes you that much
Obvs needs workk
Surf and cilantro.
█████████ lets you quickly make reservations at your favorite restaurants. Even if it won't improve the quality of your company.
Women, synchronize your cycles.
Raita Noda only seats 8 people. Be one of them.
Anthemic, economical. Sometimes humorous, but never while anthemic.
Make the beautiful game even more beautiful.
It's not the size of your desk, it's how you use it.
Good Thing Factory
Marble cake for the cost of rock cake.
Cancel your subscription at any time, with no consequences other than our bruised ego.
Keep away from children and food scientists.
Magically practical, practically magical
█████: Share the radiant glory of victory. With a GIF.
Enjoy a day trip to Sonoma for beer tasting, brewery tours, and a little drunken history.
Safety is as simple as a download.
████████ is your one-stop shop for sports, show, and music tickets. We search a swarm of vendors and present the results simply. It's all 100\% free, like friendship.
We know the feeling.
penis isolation tank.
Hoops, hops, and epic stops. MarchMadness
Boulder boldly in Glen Canyon, SF’s hidden gem.
Where your wife was last night.
This bridge sucks.
it’ll take a beating and still clean up nice for formal occasions.
Live forever, or die really quick.
You chose the "Mission Local" perspective of SF, so we're whipping up an adventure that has more depth than a 9-layer burrito from Taqueria Cancún.
All the world’s a studio.
Winner of The Age Good Food Guide People’s Choice Award for best restaurant - Melbourne 2016, and winner of our hearts, too.
Sure, ███ is a complex marriage of glass and plastic and circuits, but that's easy to forget.
Snapshot Mug (15oz): Our regular snapshot mug's bigger brother, for dads who don't like to get up for refills. $15.99
Tech Tip** A hamburger is a terrible place to hide a laptop while you step away from your desk.
Be warned: You might get a little wet while you’re getting in and out of your boat. It’s okay, you won’t melt.
Don’t decide now. Decide after you’ve tried it.
For Real Dough
Your host, Hannah, will paint your face festively before she takes you to her favorite murals and food joints. Come hungry, leave sleepy.
Others have too much pride.
CEOs use ████████ because it saves them time and money. We use ████████ because we work at ████████.
B & W feel - Memory, Rememory, All Washed Up, Long Ago,
Sparkling synths, crisp drums, and body-shaking basses. All the sounds of festival season, collected in these sample packs.
Don't buy and sell on the street. Use ████████. (No weird handoff to learn, either.)
████ will never charge for sparkles.
Some companies use █████ because it’s cute, (your site slaps) Others need payroll, benefits, computers, and apps.
Treat yourself. We deserve it.
The most musical fish is the tuna.
Gowanus is a legendary New York neighborhood with a cacophonous character. Its sounds are sometimes harsh, sometimes sweet, often musical, and always very Brooklyn.
Evens out colors - See-Saw, Even Steven, Isostatic, Spilled Beer
When a bee finds a nectar source It tells other bees with a complex dance You can just download ██████████████
You can't inflate the importance of emoji. But now you can inflate them.
You’ll eat your sweet and savory meal off vintage serveware with new friends. Oh, and there will be bubbly.
Manage and update employee benefits from one place. (████████ is that place.)
Suzy had a baby. HR had a baby migraine.
We use computers to help humans work.
Reliable when the trail isn't.
COPY: Realize the potential of polenta.
HR wants to meet with IT. No joke.
Unwrap pitiful presents? Don't worry, you can always trade up.
████████ lets you tailor it to your unique processes. Customize fields, workflows, change requests, permissions, and approvals. Give up work, but not control.
Wrote a Grammy-nominated song together in two days. Never even met.
Provisioning for your workplace because other companies mess it up.
[general] A fishing line in the water. You’ve been paid. It lifts up and reveals that there’s a hook but no fish. **There's no catch.
Distance is the new black
We'll make you look good while you're making food taste good.
The all-time high.
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 114 - Sand-castle tower molds.
Want our help? Tell us about your project.
Hell’s bells.
Something went awry. Show some initiative and click on these links: [ your timeline ], [ trending topics ], or [ robots tweeting ].
The world has its moments.
[ Your team needs you ]
How do you find out who your team will sign?
That airline "meal" won't do. Reserve a table that won't fold up when you're done. [ Book now ]
Twin Peaks Hike and Caffeine Spike
████ believes in you.
Betty’s Backside
Surf Mare Ingenii (It's a sea on the Moon. Name means "Sea of Cleverness")
There's no faster way to see what's what than by letting people test-drive a product while you note what sparks and what smokes.
No matter how our interns get here, they leave with a firm command of a few special skill sets. (Including ping pong.)
"Skip the line."
so you can go from post-it to prototype to production quickly.
We hope this clicks with HR.
According to dubious sources on the Internet, water comprises 80\% of an earthworm, 70\% of a chicken, 70\% of an elephant, and 100\% of our favorite drink.
You’ve built your whole brand around levity and calm, But you’d hire a law firm to call your mom. Our proposal is this: a verbal duel or a truce. Embrace YC brethren or exchange Mother Goose.
"When family comes over for dinner, my brothers and I cook, my Dad brings the beer, and my mom brings the ███."
Hey, Reddit. ██████ has 2M+ one-shots, loops, and stems. Every sound you could ever need, from 808 thonks to animal squonks. $7.99 month.
True champions have another.
Seriously. We just licked the stamp.
Your vision quest. Doesn't work, but I wish it would.
Dirt drums, distorted synths, bitcrushed kalimbas, lazy vocals, summer-of-'88 808s and status cymbals with lo-res sparkle. Ideal for distant-memory meanderings like lo-fi hip hop, electronica, and other beats to chill by.
Perfect your mix (and maybe your life).
Wiggle, wobble, and wow.
How to make hip-cracking bass with ███████ [Watch video]
Have a question, comment, or candy for us? Reach out and give a shout.
If that's true, you also have the chops to make it work without slang.
A Grammy nomination takes all the right connections.
Dinner for the cost of lunch.
Sure, marijuana is cool, but marijuana culture hasn’t been cool since it was made up of jazz musicians and criminals.
Read the world's front page.
You've never been to Las Vegas, but your time has come. You try the volcanoes, the pyramids, the acrobatics, the fountain shows, the nightlife, and your limits. When you return home to Hawaii, the rich colors of home seem muted.
In music, delays are usually on time.
Studies on the genetic makeup of your favorite music.
If you’re going to request anything, avoid Bob Marley and the Beatles. It’s been done.
Some foods fear you. Embrace it. (32) ____ tables
We like you over there.
Recommendations are hand-curated by our crackerjack staff of late-night musicologists and nerds who tweet about woofers. Recommendations aren't based on weird algorithms, just weird rhythms.
Play as you go.
Hydrophones are waterproof mics that people use to record underwater sounds. Also to find leaks in pools.
For large parties, it's divine.
A pic shows the couple is much older. They're napping on a couch. A book open on the woman's chest is titled, Votan Small Arms.
We're no receptionist-out-front, five-martini lunch, billion-dollar-account, take-you-golfing-on-the-moon type of agency.
And if you’re making that song and feeling its flavor, headphones wired straight to your heartbeat, you can experience something even deeper.
Feels like a fun raiser.
Ahead in the clouds.
Use each of █████’s modules as an individual plugin to deploy precious CPU resources with surgical precision.
Animate your sound beyond sanity with the 5 sophisticated modulator modes, from euclidean to random. Shape and shift your audio with the 3 analog-modeled filters.
Bar by ████, taste by nature.
Celebrate the holidays with ███ 3. The nicest thing you can get for someone on your naughty list.
█████ up the volume.
Astounding ███████ interactions, painted poorly.
GSuite, Slack, and 568 others.
May your equipment forever match your environment.
HEADLINE: Beggars can't be losers.
A kid unprepared for a "current events" report, but using ███████, but his teacher calls him out for only reading the ██████████.
Take a poster. It's free and fragile, like friendship.
It’s payday. Egg money.
We're stable, reliable, and secure, like a boulder chained to a mountain.
Warning: some cooks get booked for cooking the books.
We all play our part in the end.
You’ll sample a $40 cup of coffee harvested from cat poop (if you want), and realize that it tastes better than anything you could get from Starbucks.
NO-SHOW: BOB & MIMI - 7PM.
Parental Super Vision.
Pretty, Pretty Presets
Get hungry and park it.
We work late. You sleep late.
Everything cricket, from Arm balls to Zooters.
This probably goes without saying, but if somebody is negative to you online, mute them, block them, or just ignore them. Don’t engage them.
Spend time exploring my favorite neighborhoods and toss back the best produce and pastries you'll have outside of a dream.
Get a bigger slice of that king cake with █████████.
Your menu says more about your restaurant than you can.
A woman enters a bank wearing a cumbersome VR headset, a controller in each of her hands. She bumps into a table. People stare. She begins to endorse an invisible check.
Pieces of work
Our Neck of the Woods
Secret Tracks
go bouldering within spitting distance from a great rock club.
Dark-haired servers will like you. ____ tables (34)
Certified bovineyard.
We think you’re the cream of the crop.
We don't even look cool in sunglasses.
Some heroes wear capes. Others find sweaters more practical.
Foooooood and shooooes and fooooood.
Make friends with a cloud
Sinkside Serenity Kit
One can of ████ contains 27\% more sparkles than a unicorn feather.
Most importantly, she will take you to a speakeasy-style bar with secret doors and craft cocktails that will “bring out the amazing in you.”
Come back to see what's new. And what's News. [ Explore News ]
ahead-of-its-time capsule
STEAL THIS COOKBOOK
Look alive.
Paint your bills.
Play by ever-changing rules. Automate your HR & IT.
Five high-quality effects. Priced for people with commitment issues. Five high-quality effects. One low-commitment price.
Coffee & Nicorettes
Dispatches from the depths of the studio.
Apologize profusely to win computers and cash.
For artists and vandals
Lardo - They called him "lardo" as an insult, but he never cared because lardo is delicious af.
Man moves machine.
CARD 2 — Where were you when their dreams became memes?
Bravery isn't native to Earth.
Check out the worst gifts and count the thoughts that don't.
Slow-cooked meat. Fast.
The large menu has almost as much personality as the baristas, so be sure to interact with both.
Watch the halftime show. From space.
It’s payday. Bzzness and pleasure.
We specialize in designing special software.
We hope your appetite for is insatiable, because once you arrive in SF, you’ll have a full plate.
Now we're cooking with gas. And it's a 6-burner.
Pivotal Moments: When Teddy Roosevelt Spoke to Hal Barry
Don't judge his life, judge his work.
Adventurous eaters over 21
Gougere - I stayed in a broken relationship with a baker for an extra two years because I loved his gougere more than I hated him.
GROW YOUR BASE (AND YOUR BASS) MEET-AND-BEATS THE CROWNED OF MUSIC
Simply put, we apply extremely high pressure to the outside of the pouch, and that seals in all the goodness on the inside. (Like a hug from Mom or Dad.)
Every inning, without the outing.
In a round of applause led by the teacher, the class claps half-heartedly.
Get home and add a tuba chop you made from a recording of your ex sneezing. Realize the tuba thing is what ties it all together.
Outgrowing █████? Presto Change-o.
The food chain gang.
Cats are cute. Payroll software shouldn’t be.
Makes sports sportier!
Come see us.
No matter what, keep making music.
CEOs GTD 24 7
Aunt Edna cured her vertigo by wearing a banana peel as a blindfold. Think like Aunt Edna and win a █████████ gift card and delectable ████ snacks.
Do some collision coursework.
You’re only limited by your willingness to explore.
Have a heart-to-heart.
How do you keep your employees in sync? Here at ████████, we use ████████.
Redefine cannabis culture by reimagining the ritual.
Sample Magic: Ethereal Techno thumps, thuds, and shwumps
We call our new colors “Day and Night” because “Lemon and Eggplant” was the other option. ████████.com
What's in a name? An acronym, of course. ████ stands for Always Live EXtraordinarily, a philosophy we thought would sound better on a water bottle than a lower back tattoo.
Stop pretending your phone is made for phone calls.
Use your crypto, don’t lose it.
Ben gets married and changes his last name. ████████ changes everything else.
stone soup
This holiday season, may your cocoa remain hot, your snowballs land cold, your pines live indoors, your relatives be sober, your candles stay lit, and your dreidels fall favorably.
Use the ███████ name, the ███████ bird, █████, or any similar marks on any apparel, product, toy, or merchandise, or in any way that's not cool.
Sail beneath the Golden Gate with an fisherman named Sal, then learn his bartender's name. Stop by the house of a tattooer named Cindy for the best crab carpaccio you've ever had.
Imagine the most satisfying lager you've sipped, then add some fantasy dream sparkle on the back of your tongue. Then add a touch of tartness, and a smidgen of sweetness. Sprinkle some of that special feeling when you come home after a long trip and sleep in your own bed. Finally, toss in some true love, and don't be stingy. That's basically how ████ █████ tastes.
Pirated software was cool when we were 11, but we’re grown now. Don’t put up with glitchy plugins.
█████████ is the simple, nimble app for restaurant reservations.
Brand’s sleight of hand.
You might have to go through dozens of folders and thousands of files just to find every tambourine loop under 100bpm, or that dog bark that would make a cool snare. That’s when music production turns into a big production.
Yell at Ryan Gosling from the tub.
A group gathered around a dinner table, laughing and having a great time. They're all holding their silverware and plates in their laps, because the table they're gathered around is gone, with a gaping space where it should be.
Trail tested, emotionally invested
social copy is so ephemeral that the use of ephemeral language is lit.
We can't tell if the car is starting to smell like dog or if the dog has started smelling like car. Time for a pit stop.
Explorations of the minutiae that magnifies our music.
Tighten your laces, we're sending you to Paypal to complete your payment.
Synthesis for Futurists
Trouble helix.
█████ ██ ████, YOU'LL SLAP AN APPLE.
It’s payday. Bee yourself.
Not as evil as you'd think.
██████ ██████ has 2M+ samples. Meaning inspiration for any mood. (Even that one.)
Garden my French
Athletes Make Rain
It's possible that, other than a sunrise, a plant was the first beautiful thing.
(There's a bunch of food, and it's all delicious, and somebody needs to eat it.)
Take the first letter from every line of my PPMFs, starting with the inaugural and ending on this one, then arrange them in reverse chronological order. It spells out what I really think of this team.
[Short video of Neil Armstrong bouncing across the surface of the moon, chasing Raymond, who is hopping just in front of Armstrong, buoyant in the moon's gravity. Raymond hops again, this time out of frame. He doesn't come back.]
Wear a helmet!
Mood Food
They spend money on experiences, not possessions. But if those experiences can be improved, enhanced, or even altered unexpectedly by a possession, they’ll spend money on that.
But clean oscillators mean they can also dirty up your decibels down to the decimal without muddying up your mix.
Inhale innovation.
“Stand with me, then sit with me.” in the tweet or something.
Paging Doctor Jekyll.
Be there with bells on.
In book one of ███ ███████ ███████ trilogy, ██████ ███████████ delivers a sun-bleached American adventure from the pioneer era, when survival required sweat and blood in equal measure.
Explore ███████. It's like ████████, but legitter.
that ergo chair that your least-favorite admin wants
Instagram for people who can read.
Hold on. Befriending musicians.
ALT HEADLINE: A beggar's banquet.
Send your liver on a cruise.
Image 5: We don't do cubes. We work in an open floor plan. It makes spitballing and shooting spitballs much easier.
Instructions: 1. Turn over. 2. Take a moment or seven. 3. Turn over something inside yourself.
We’d like to recommend a service built to last,
Hold on. Fiddling with fiddles.
The music you’re listening to is affecting your heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, and mood.
Tomatoes fear us.
For CEOs, MBAs, HR, IT, and other occupational acronyms.
You'll lunch with fun people at a fun restaurant. (It'll be fun.)
Sunshine and Shadow
Save it somewhere handy. We recommend your phone, but some places are more... interesting.
A bowl of melted ice cream. A cherry floats in the the middle.
█████, ███████, reply and favorite in a flash. Quickly see recent ██████ and top trends. Share your location, a song, or your thoughts with a flick on the wrist. It's ███████, but littler.
At ████, we believe your design should be declarative, not imperative. You should tell your symbols how they could behave - not the other way around.
To set the table for a great evening, first, get the the table.
You are an ocean of possibility. You are both a student and a teacher. You are the future and the inventor of it. This is your workshop. Use the tools within to learn, connect and grow.
Zoom, Slack, ████████, Figma.
Ignore the signs. [Image of a please wait to be seated sign at a restaurant.]
Your quick fix
Alcoholololololic seltzer.
Leg it on quiet trails that weave through towering redwoods on this hike.
San Francisco is a city like no other. Dogs sit on stools at dive bars and staircases rise up into fog. Tacos become objects of worship and baseballs land on sailboats. Parks appear inside parking lots and houses are the colors of crayons.
A kajillion kicks. So many snares. Explore ██████ ██████ and get your drums set.
It auto-files your business taxes while you do whatever.
"██████ are short, but my attention span is shorter. How do I pay for college?"
Hey. Trends now live here.
The chores don’t have to be such a chore.
Heavy bleater.
Enjoy plenty of perks like unlimited vacation, catered lunches and dinners, competitive salary and equity, full healthcare (including vision and dental), subsidized membership at SF’s best gym, a new laptop and iPad, unlimited iPhone service, a 401k program, commuter assistance, disability insurance, maternity leave, lifelong camaraderie, and the satisfaction of creating new ways to learn.
Arepas come full circle.
LAW & ORDER: POS
9 analog synths: Iconic warmth and wobble
Concrete kicks and sooty snares: making Gowanus slap
Temporarily cures thirst and ennui.
Love every second.
"Work automation platform" sounds boring. Oh well.
Now you can pet your favorite cat GIFs
(Very) Special Effects
808 and 909-based synthesis for that boom boom boom
the steak is not only overcooked, it’s charred beyond belief.
You don’t sound like Dilla. Dilla sounds like you.
Ride a locally-made bicycle through a locally-made neighborhood.
Cover your originals.
World Class Percussion Vol 2 and Josh Mellinger’s many hits
Lines: Get ready. Come prepared. You've been preparing for this. And so have we.
~~Transmutational instruments.~~
EIGHTY-SIX MOST SLANG AND JARGON
████ BOTTLE USE CASE 1022 - Stylish raindrop catcher for that unfashionable hole in your roof.
Stare at the wall.
You’ve paid for █████. All of it.
Cherry-pick from millions of high-quality sounds. Dial in the perfect samples with tags and filters.
Tell your stove you'll be back in 2 weeks.
Multiband distortion. Multitudes of mangling.
Instant replays for every instance. Download the free ████ app.
Be more secure with your Security, comply better with Compliance.
The seltzer that boozy superheroes drink, probably.
Mind-altering modular patches and Juno jawns.
(written in 10 minutes yesterday morning as a proof of concept, so go easy, bruh)
Salad Daze
Headline: ████████’s New Year’s resolution: 2560x1440
Know you’ll have a place at the place.
Keepin' It Vérité
"She drinks me, she drinks me not." Payoff: "This V-Day, don't pluck around. Go for a sure bet."
[national pickle day] A jar of pickles. One of the pickles waves. **It’s payday. And that’s a pretty sweet dill.
A destination that feels like destiny.
Foresight is 20 20, too.
NFL on ███████. Each █████ is a Hail Mary.
Spread your Snappiness. Just don't spread out in his chair.
That too-literal interpretation of "synth voice" results in an unforgettable character, one that's wholly informed by the individual playing it.
A: Horrible gift from Aunt Deb? Ungratefulness can pay off. Show us the sorrow and enter to win a computer or cash from ███████ and █████.
Don't wait on your table more than your waiter does.
Download the free ████ app. Scroll. Watch. Repeat.
While you're pouring over their menu of 100 wines, ask your waiters what dishes they eat for their shift meals. Try those, too. And keep the water coming.
"Want more pico de gallo?" she asks. But you can't hear her over the burrito.
“I’ve only been using ██████ for three weeks, but it already backs me up more than my friends.” -Me IRL
Every bite of ████ pasta is guaranteed to taste delicious and homemade, but never ever “healthy”.
(Beer me.)
ON THE LAMB
Attend your favorite big events, [33]
You like extract, but grandma likes flowers. No problem. There's a ███ for everyone.
Her old station wagon has the best sound system outside of a pro studio, and you don’t have access to the inside of one.
Write the Great American Novel in a Direct Message. [ Send a Direct Message ]
See it through until you can't see through it.
PRESSED TO IMPRESS.
A high-class cocktail bash. Button-downs and bottoms up.
█████ █████ █ has improved swap-and-drop stomp box effects, from the familiar to the forward-focused. Shred, ring mod, chorus, distort, filter, transform, and delay. Chain them together in any order for any flavor you favor.
If you like butter, it’s better.
Home has your favorites, plus gems unearthed by the algorithm.
We don't care how long a boxer trains, Capri Sun still has the monopoly on bag punches.
ghost ship in a bottle.
Understand sunsets.
Two words: chocolate, dinner.
You can remove them, too. And then re-add them.
Nothing to lose. (Plenty of gain.)
Basil relaxes, renews, restores, regulates, and does many other things for you that don’t start with R.
Use it without losing it.
Neighborhood watched.
We're present.
Perfect. We've sent you an email.
A PASTA DISH sits on a table. It suddenly pops up, and we can see it has legs and arms. It walks over to a GLASS OF RED WINE. They begin to press against one another and make out.
Award-winning wavetable synth. Tomorrow’s sound, today.
its layers transmit flavor freely
Need a shaker sound? Here are 23,676 of them.
But trust us. You want all 5 effects.
████ Tangy Mango gummies are famously fast-acting, like a hummingbird in a Broadway play.
Every person you’ve met, every decision you’ve made, every trip you’ve taken… they’ve all led you to this can. Nicely done.
~~████ is sourced sustainably, so every strawberry sip helps preserve the planet. (That probably includes strawberries.)~~
"███████ is people!"
Don't do it, bb.
It’s not 2008. Don’t choose a restaurant from a web search.
That depends on the project. Is it an ongoing thing, or a one-off? Does the copy need to be localized? Does our team have a generational feud with your team?
make sourdough bread
Make a podcast about the color blue
We make your day.
Hold on. Digging up ear worms.
Work: on it.
Still interesting when you're sober.
Sensory overlord. Okay, okay, doesn't fit, but I don't get to use "overlord" in a sentence often, so....
It's filled with tourists snapping the same picture of the same bridge and hanging off the same cable car, their bellies fat with the same supermarket sourdough.
Bravery is difficult. Death is not.
Collaborate from afar. Work with people who are impossible to work with.
A 3-course dinner, of course.
Satisfaction has sharp teeth.
Attend a dinner party in a luxury condo in Techland.
PLAY MORE SWEET SOUNDS DON'T STRIKE A SOUR NOTE
The supernatural comes here super naturally.
No two arepas are alike.
Here's a secret: most of life's troubles can be fixed or forgotten with a forkful of perfectly-cooked pork belly.
PRIMARY HEADLINE: Get what you deserve.
Donation effects will be felt immediately.
That's Great, It's Fine
We lace our eyes tight,
A Mug for His Mug
Traverse tunnels, alleys, and abandoned buildings. Learn how to see the spaces between spaces, and the difference between a good wall and a safe wall.
We couldn't keep this bottled up.
To clean your ████, twist it open from the center and wash by hand. Drop it in the dishwasher if you're a hand model or lazy. This bottle likes all baths.
She’ll cook with all the best-loved ingredients of the Mediterranean while you drink cocktails made from the best-loved liver boosters.
You’re the designated drinker.
WE took out this ad to congratulate ourselves.
Drown your sorrows in H2O, bro.
Each one of his projects begins with his client in mind. Plus donuts.
Give yourself some credit.
We simplify the sequence by providing extra hands (and machines).
strip club table (with only legs and high heels visible)
(Like when they’re driving, louging, or skydiving — but usually driving.)
Mother's nature. (or, for all the mothers: Mothers' nature)
████ loves the way you hold it.
Motown Strings makes arrangements
Bad Fingers Middling Fingers
That is, the ticket.
Anthropomorphize the bird
You’ll visit three burger spots over a stretch of a few hours, and you’ll get to know the merits of each with your mouth.
This is one of the only tables you can't reserve. Everything else is up for grabs.
██████ ███████████ is the friend who never gets mad if you forget their birthday and is cool with you not wanting to hang, but is still there for you when it’s important.
A busboy will wink at you. Don't wink back.
Terminal Velocity
Join Alex, the most welcoming employee at ██████ (and that’s saying something), for an immersive tour of our headquarters. See the conference rooms that replicate our most-reserved homes, down to the tchotkes on the shelves. Learn about how we grew from an idea to a global brand without losing our souls. Raid our snack bars while admiring Alex’s luscious raven hair.
Like Music, Specificity Is Universal
██████ ███████████. Make music and still make rent. Stop wanting. Start flaunting.
“We didn’t want to stick with that because the target is already being used by another company. Target.”
As hangover-proof as science will allow.
Throw your favorite (drinkable) liquid inside the ████ tumbler without worry. Forget it in the old Honda for 3 months if you want. ████ is fully dishwasher-safe and practically apocalypse-proof, so it’ll always be salvageable.
Wabi sabi \= beautiful imperfection
Have many lives.
Stop wanting. Start flaunting.
Shoot and share video on ███████. (Because what you really want to do is direct.)
Be █████ smart.
Where WHOA grows WILD.
Millions of musicians - from Top 40 hitmakers to bedroom producers - come to ██████ to get started or unstuck, move forward and make progress on their music.
Dawn. A window lights up in an old victorian house atop an iconic sloped San Franciscan street.
████████’s brand color is yellow. That’s why this billboard uses it.
Without any number 2.
Cures ennui. Also causes it.
Find the perfect {search term}. numbers station cartoon dog sneeze dirty kalimba meow
(Get excited already.)
2nd season: Temptation is a beast.
Otra bebida para mí.
Is your career in politics no longer fulfilling? Chat with a former president who has been through it
So yeah, the San Francisco you heard about is fake. Come see the real thing instead.
If you call us more often than your lover, we understand.
Tiny Birds comes up more in conversation than real birds do.
Psychedelic journeys come in all shapes and colors. You might unearth another part of the universe that always existed, discover a Great Truth, or find meaning in the movement of light.
Reddit, we’ve got more sounds than a pinball championship held at a record store in Times Square. 2M+ samples and counting. $7.99 month.
Honeymoon phase over with your local brunch spot? Time to explore other options You don’t have to do it alone. ██████████████ is omnivorous And discreet.
Go for that studio-with-moving-walls effect.
The Art of Getting Up
Trip advisors
Work longer to live longer to work longer to live longer to work longer to live longer to work longer to live longer to work longer....
An elephant won't come back because they can remember you have a fence.
Search for any sound in the world. (And many that are out of this world.)
Dine in impossible places.
The apex of vapor.
[general] A pineapple with a severed top sits on a picnic table. It begins to rain. Some tiny umbrellas pop out of the top of the pineapple. It’s payday. You’re covered. **It’s payday. You’re welcome.
Drink like a fish, walk like a fish.
█████ ██ ████, PEOPLE MIGHT STARE.
Growth sport.
█████: 17,922 people are talking trash on your team. You're eating chips.
If you’d like us to name your dogs, we can try, but the best we’ve come up with so far is Bone Pugs and Harmony.
No need to call ahead.
Our first mobile phones were cups. Our first network was string.
People will always engage with companies that reach out to them with respect, personality, and wit.
██████ is a design build studio with a strong point of view. We’re really great at saying no to bad ideas, starting with our own.
Have a thing for art.
"Open a restaurant and design its entire menu around that one cheese, mostly so you'll have an excuse to fly it in three times a week."
I used to like all music “except country and rap.” Now I’m tired of all music except country and rap.
New app, great food, real cred, much mood.
Feeling minimal? Your username must be at least 3 characters long.
█████ ██ ████, YOU'LL WANT SEVEN.
A server approaches a table, there to refill waters. He begins to pour the pitcher of water before the diners have a chance to get their glasses within his reach. Water splashes all over the table.
Take a poster. Leave your hunger.
Different Hats
You do the restaurant. We do the rest.
Mondo Condo Dinner Party
Christmas lights that automatically biodegrade on December 26th
The beat of a different drummer.
Handheld epiphanies.
The Originalists are people who march to the beat of their own drum machine. They inspire those around them to dance, even when no one else can hear music.
[thanksgiving] **Happy Banksgiving to you and your paycheck.
Something’s Fishy Today
Here's to the curators of curiosity.
Kayak and Back
Our CMO likes words so we're using them here.
Frosted Stein** Dad doesn't need to be thirsty to enjoy a frosted beverage, especially if there's beer in it. _$19.99
Flip Book** Help Dad relive the glory of his shining moments, like that backyard-baseball homer he hit into the neighbor's window. Make him a custom flip book. _starting at $4.99
Everything you could possibly want to battle Votans. Weapons, body armor, water purification kits, communication devices, night vision goggles. Everything on the site is sold out.
Eat dinner with Francine, an F-train operator from the Lower East Side. She'll get you into a speakeasy-style salsa club, where you'll learn that it's all in the hips.
(Never the potatoes.)
DIY yule log. (Ignite when ready.)
Drink different. [Probably too Apple-referential.]
COPY: Put together in a special order.
And cite that famous amendment first.
Cancel at any time, keep the sounds forever. No traps. (Just trap drums.)
Book from anywhere. She'll be right.
Most saturated - Super, Supreme, Full Blast
Thirst is the worst, water is the best, ████ is the bottle that we hope drowns the rest.
In the pocket with Carrtoons Bass Jams
San Francisco is a city of fog-piercing bridges, secret staircases, and award-winning toast. Its golden light, fragrant eucalyptus, and bay views are iconic, but the delicate dumplings and both-hands burritos are the stuff of dreams.
Grill meats and eat treats in a boisterous backyard.
Forget backflips. Do a triple lutz.
It’s Payday. Sweet dill.
(@MikeBloomberg is attending, but it won't be a party without you.)
Hold on. Equalizing equalizers.
Membership saves minds.
Producers of house and other forms of electronic music often approach tracks with a maximal mindset. They layer synths and chop vocals to smithereens, programming percussion into robot marching bands playing at impossible intervals.
are {adverb} fast-acting, like a race car made of lightning.
Pork belly for the cost of pork rinds.
Finally, head to Bourbon and Branch, the city's best-known "secret" whiskey bar. (We shouldn't be sharing this, but the password to the library is "books.") Drink well, but don't tell.
Connect your console to ███████ to end the argument.
Succulent Salve Kit
It's our job to smooth out the rough stuff and keep the data trains running on schedule.
Capture the frenetic energy of Drum & Bass with these packs full of heart-stopping sounds from Photek, Rockwell, and more.
You qualify for the carb-loading.
Every time you eat <cuisine>, you'll grow .0003mm taller.
Because the pillar of your team isn't a pillar.
Blurb: Beautiful and bound for glory.
Grow your dream, then your team. Automate your HR & IT.
OMG! The new guy in HR is so cute. {kiss emoji}
April 14, 2013: You see spaceships hovering over work. You call in sick.
Bottled Wine, Box Lunch
████ is special water + special sparkles, nothing magic.
Your friends relied on you for restaurant recommendations They called you the Human Menu Your dish reviews were legendary Then everyone stopped calling after we launched our app (Sorry.)
Never pay attention to payroll again.
We don't have a cartoon department.
Get on a bike a see how slow you can go without falling over.
________ wanted.
Reliable Source Horse
Digital products that empower the planet.
12,562 kick drums. 1,245,212 sounds that aren't.
It's all news to you. [ Get ███████ ]
If you have a case of the Mondays, we recommend you try to sell it on eBay. (Priced low.)
Speak louder than words.
Work magic. No hocus pocus.
Not going to the Grammy Awards?
Discover a new water source that does grow on trees: fruit.
Donut Rex
A man digs a hole in his back yard. His kids watch from the window, perplexed. He tosses a computer in the hole and begins to fill it.
You will share <cuisine> with a tall man.
WHO: You and Yours, Us and Ours, Them and Theirs
You’ll row past waterfalls and under somewhat ancient bridges while you eat food prepared from local ingredients.
Leave it to chants.
Share photos on ███████. It's a snap. [Learn more]
Don't give socks.
ate some Candy Corn
Suzy moved to a new apartment. HR moved back their lunch.
████ is a forever product, meaning it will last as long as you need it to. Should you ever leave this bottle behind for greener pastures, ████ is fully recyclable (for greener pastures).
INFP, but blessed with long legs. Vegan, gluten-free, fair-trade, organic. Pro-dessert, anti-deserter. No burners. IDGAF
Fine Art Prints** Create a stunning photo print that depicts your father stunning the neighbors with his late-night yard work, or whatever else makes Dad an inimitable masterpiece. _starting at $69.99
Your chocolate-obsessed guide will fill you in on the history of chocolate, its health benefits, and other excuses to eat more chocolate.
Kid sleeping on a bed with monsters sleeping beneath. Motorcycles can't wake the monsters.
In a sense, any trail will lead to hidden treasure, but try to make it to the West Coast World War II Memorial around sunset for a breathtaking view of the Pacific.
The tables are left empty. The restaurants lose money. Other diners wait outside, exposed to the cruelty of nature.
█████████, the Powell’s Books of restaurant reservation apps.
Lobster on a fish-and-chips budget.
Take your ears out.
Our adventure administrators are still marinating the perfect trip for you. Check back in a few days for more detailed details.
Collage Commuter Mug** (13oz): Adorn this insulated mug with an array of your shining snapshots. Its proven design protects your beverages during harrowing commutes through traffic, public transit systems, or jungles. _starting at $12.99
Aim for a sub 4-hour meal.
Meet interesting people. _Guy at a dinner party with drag queens_
Eat your fill, toss back some little drinks that make you feel big, then grin like the Cheshire.
Thunderdome eye patch.
Unlike Janice, we’ll never make you wait.
All the way live.
This year, your support kept us open. You seeded our dreams. To show how much we dig you, we’re giving you early access to our {{Plant Gifts}} program.
Yeah, basically a pint glass that’s not glass. Which means it can tumble and not break. A tumbler.
Drink like a fish. Not a saltwater fish, because that's dangerous.
What's the best thing to do in SF? Take-out-the-guest work.
Friends don't let friends miss good ██████.
(But don’t talk about the law or fires, either. It can ruin the mood.)
Hi-hats that sound like cicadas. Cicadas that sound like hi-hats. 2 million other sounds, too, if insects aren’t your thing.
we show how ███ is the volume knob for life, giving you the ability to turn things up or down.
BRIDGE AND TUNNEL CROWD
Information at the speed of like. [ Get ███████ ]
It is the land of almond milk and honey.
Your ████████ request was declined. If at first you don't succeed....
It may not save the world. But it could give the world another half hour.
It does boring office things so you don't.
Drinking leads to experimenting.
Keep away from children and poets.
American-made | American steel | Backed by Charlie
We are the elastic behind ███████'s bounce.
The Flock to Unlock method is a good way to convince your people that they should share your █████ with their followers. It works like this:
Some yuzu trees take as long as 10 years to fruit. You don't have to wait.
The Gardener’s Dozen
Good Goshamighty
It's partially pet-proof, too. Your dog won't be able to pilfer your peppers if she can't reach them, but your cat may have better luck.
Construct a self portrait with empty bottles. Cool.
Moleskin for Stolen Recipes
We built our business on building yours.
How to perform Brand’s sleight of hand.
The rebel is cause enough.
Congrats to all the artists who earned Grammy nominations with ██████. You make it look easy.
It took the Wright Brothers years to invent the aeroplane. It takes us seconds to figure out you like airy ambient music.
The synth with alien architecture.
Blue-blood plate special.
Spice is the variety of life, or something.
It’s payday! And that’s big.
There’s a little bit of sunshine in every sip. (Don’t burn your tongue.)
Experience magical internet money.
Hold on. Subverting subgenres.
███████ █████ Guest Quotes (fake)
Not an option unless we're doing this on a shoestring or wearing velcro shoes.
Get a table. (And maybe a new girlfriend.)
Page not found. It probably ran off with your girlfriend while you were in the bathroom.
Mount Olympus Org Chart
██████ like a magic portal. Much safer.
CEOs like us. We mostly like them.
We’re sorry we’ve been slow with ████████ posts. Our fax machine was on the fritz.
Say cheers to a beautiful cup with big ambitions.
Sip between slopes. _[With the vague sensual suggestions, of course.]
Nice legs needed.
Look, but do touch.
Every ounce of ████ █████ is a gateway to a better world: one in which thirst is optional, lager is both tart and delicate, and you're a little more buzzed.
Deb wants kids, but I don't know how I can bring children into a world this cold. (pause) Should I question the Chef? Yeah. Ask him if we can get our tiramisu to go.
You'll like it so much you'll want to use it to wash away your troubles, with or without the bubbles. (We recommend with, obviously.)
Like songs on ███████, the algorithm goes wild.
Frank Ocean used Malay’s sounds and won a Grammy. We’re just saying.
A: They're both crowded, so you should book it.
[Photo of Raymond with Marilyn Monroe on the red carpet. Flashbulbs everywhere. Raymond barely comes up to her Marilyn’s ankles.]
Reality in real time.
Reading the last chapter of a mystery novel first is not nearly as satisfying as eating dessert before dinner.
(Don't worry about it, this stuff happens.)
talking to a surfers on the beach (who console him with bear hugs)
Water that sparkles the imagination.
Walk through the hidden eucalyptus forest atop the city, zoom down slides built into the hillsides, enjoy the view from a swing that looks out over the skyline, marvel at a house painted like a jungle, and more.
Includes dinner, drinks, and dharma.
The world is your break room.
Even if you're not a people person.
The "sick" days. The "lucky" socks. The dog named "Jaffa." All for cricket.
Toot your own horn, or any of ours.
Steak taste on a burger budget.
You’ll eat while sitting on her cushioned floor, so dress appropriately.
The tao of WOW.
For when you're growing extreme products or you're growing in extreme conditions. If you're sweating while you're doing the math, this is your best bet.
If MacGyver were a cook, what would replace his trusty Swiss Army Knife? A) A good chef's knife B) A SlapChop C) The kitchen sink
Land on the Sea of Death, stay in a beautiful alien pod.
(We shouldn't be sharing this, but the password to the library is "books.") Drink well, but don't tell.
Your table will be ready, even if your date isn't.
Hang out with Joe, a firefighter, at his neighborhood bar, and lose a game of dominoes against his friends. (You won't lose their respect).
Curbside Comestibles
Go backstage without having to front. [ Join in ]
Better living through artistry.
3 in 10 adults can't read ██████.
The other silver screen.
The general rule: if you've used emdashes more than once this week, you've overused them.
For Season
"Here's a secret: most of life's troubles can be fixed or forgotten with a forkful of perfectly-cooked pork belly. Good thing Red Spice QV exists."
Stereo Touch takes a flat mono track and pumps it full of surround sound. Those vocals are soaring.
If you are what you eat, be rare.
Mint settles the stomach, aids digestion, and makes you at least 12 times more kissable.
With flavor notes from your doctor.
Trends moved. Now they're here.
They're Gold, I Fold
“Insist on instant gratification.”
Very few posts about cats.
Keep away from children and people who use speakerphone in public.
Show us your character. Which one of the Pacific Ocean's 11 sounds most like you? Pick one for a chance to win 80,000 ████████ miles. That's enough to get you to the Strip and back. (Lucky you.)
Rivalry makes us all thirsty. ████ can even make Cain able.
"I can't unfollow you."
Montana's mountains look like they were carved from soap.
Decorated hero.
This 30k SF industrial building has a 20-year month-to-month lease and an underground distribution network of porch-pirate loot. Never a dull moment.
Holesome
The hambone's connected to your jawbone.
The employee of the month died yesterday.
Ignore the mean girls. Use █████████ to make reservations at your favorite restaurants from anywhere, 24 7.
CARD 1 — For 32 days, the whole world dreams the same dream.
Miss Call
Hungry? Good. (Please don't eat this ad.)
Encourage exploration through innovation and indica.
Test the whole trail. Recraft the whole shoe.
Don’t be trashy.
If it happens in the world, it happens on ███████.
Consider the Restaurant
Dinner includes too much foods, drinks, and desserts. Appetite required.
This changes everything. (Starting with your studio.)
Break bread, not a sweat.
(They hardly even cook anymore.)
You are what you eat. Be delicious and reasonably priced.
You can find our flavors in nature. But it’s easier to get them here.
Sure, we could have called this "Ambrosial Pineapple, Green Apple, Cucumber, and Lime Juice with Alkaline Water," but we're calling it "Radiance" instead. Mostly because it's prettier and fits on the label.
Nobody can access your account without your permission. Not even ██████.
Nothing but 'net. MarchMadness
Get with the times.
Secure your security in seconds.
and play one with better stats.
We can see through our competition.
It should have the visual gloss of a corporate account, but with endearing quirks and perspective of an employee.
Many of the millions of people who book through █████████ do it through API-empowered apps, widgets, and sites like yours. (Even if there's nothing like yours.)
Eat your feelings.
Whether you make music with electric guitars or electronics, the FET-76 will become your secret weapon, even if everyone else is in on the secret.
██████ like the Ocean
Read a squirrel's compelling argument for Tampa using a 3-4 defense.
One small step for man. The last step for mankind.
[ Dunk a █████ ]
Dynamite comes in small burgers.
Get-rich-quick scheme up for grabs: e-paper weights.
We thought you'd never ask.
Your train line is our drumline: sampling Gowanus
The studio of your dreams is closer than your pillow.
Don’t hug strangers (Please maintain a safe social distance.)
Put your best foot forward. ███████ is the best by a foot.
Finally, descend the stairs that empty to the beach below where you’ll be able to navigate the famous Lands End Labyrinth. (We’re sorry, but David Bowie will not be present.)
Then: learn to be the call.
Hold on. Filtering filters.
Have a sausage party with some hippies in the Haight.
Unusual perspectives of familiar things, and unusual things being treated with familiarity.
(Don’t) make an impact
Tastes somewhat like: sky kisses, cartoon rain, unicorn soda, lemon laughter
You'll skip dessert and regret it. (34) ____ tables
We’re very good at making great spaces.
Tell us a good knock-knock joke. It won't help you get the job... or will it?
FACT: Agave can be made into paper, rope, sweetener, instruments, and the reason she went home with you.
(never discuss religion, politics, or cilantro in polite company)
Need stealth? Go black. Feel glamorous? Get gold. Feeling sparkly? Probably ███.
Removable bottle opener on bottom, because paaaaaaaarty
If you have any feedback, questions, or concerns, don't hesitate to send us a postcard
Your host will take you over the Conservatory of Flowers and stop at Frankenart, a tiny art space devoted to the creative use of hot dogs.
There's no base like home.
That's roughly {792} hours or {47,520} minutes, but who's counting?
████████’s suite of rhythm engines are incredibly powerful, and can transform any audio completely. With step sequencers, LFOs, ██████’s own Flux mode, and more, the possibilities are popping.
Having good neighbors at work is more important that having good neighbors at home. At least until desks get fences.
The top-shelf gift for the man who can reach the top shelf.
Call it something good.
Don't worry about getting in. Just get into it.
Life, unfiltered.
It’s payday, honey.
A few hours ago I was was reading a book on Houdini. I took a quick break to go check the mail and locked myself out.
Everything is better in a bottle. Except ships.
If it’s not an emoji, it’s not on the menu.
Put everything you've got into building and burnishing our groundbreaking global network. Tackle perplex problems, like the act of reshaping human communication. From a comfy chair.
You will eat <sushi> and make friends with a dog.
Save the environment.
Those puppy-dog eyes could take you far. Whimper your way to $10k and a lavish laptop. Don't drool on the keyboard.
You are who you eat.
█████’s for every biz, large, small, or mid? Impossible to outgrow █████? But you did. At ████████, we run on ████████, okay. But at █████, you run on ███ ███████.
Hold on. Modulating modulators.
Your swan song should have more swans.
End Card** The more you show.
When the overall experience is this good, you won't care if everybody knows your name.
5 TINY CALORIES. YUP.
Too short for bad poetry!
We don't discuss politics, but the first person to make a month-long phone battery gets our vote for president. We can SMS votes now, right?
Secondly, it's got a lively open kitchen and marble-topped bar, which whispers Paris to those who will listen.
“Before you clean up the streets, you gotta clean your feets.”
Use █████████ to quickly make reservations at her favorite restaurant, and maybe she'll want to have a life together.
It's basically an abandoned London Underground station from the 19th century, but with better booze.
Being is believing.
Stay flexible without bending over backwards.
Everyone cries when an onion dies.
HR software is typically ill-conceived, ugly, confusing, and anything but human.
Ride the decaying waves into new possibilities.
An opener at parties.
When the future of fencing feels like a present.
First: learn to be the answer,
Sometimes we leave money in the pages of our books (to surprise customers). Maybe.
You like to move it, move it
Weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, divorce parties, etc.
~~████ is sourced sustainably, so every blueberry sip helps preserve the planet. (Earth is a big, juicy blueberry.)~~
Eat, drink, and be Mary. [Get it? Hahahaha. Ugh.]
Intentional design gives each ███ an understated beauty: elegant enough for an art opening, yet appropriately discreet for everyday use.
Work with us, or BYOB.
8x11 Hardcover: Some Dads look better in leather jackets, some in classic linen. Choose a cover to match his style. As low as $19.99.
Spell your name differently
███████ Cherry-picker
The bus stop itself is a tiny restaurant. Two 2-top tables are installed and set, complete with checkered table cloth and bud vase. Both have "Reserved" signs.
The hand is a woman's, and heavily tattooed, with long fingernails showing intricate nail art. The art on the nails are tiny replicas of the buildings around them, and together the nails form a tiny mural.
If your stomach begins to rumble, grab a slice at Arinell's Pizza. Sure, it's not quite the same as a triangle from New York, but New York doesn't have this weather.
(You don't even have to wipe your mouth. We're not the napkin police.)
Find the heart of a city through the people who love it.
From batsmen to Batman. Find them on ███████.
Get hooked on this Japanese tasting menu.
Holla @ ya boyz.
XXL OMG for your DAW. (w BFF prices.)
The file size for this image is too big. Picture something smaller and try again.
So big, we ruined navy blue.
Your mama's arepas are flat.
Give the gift that's evergreen.
Group messages on ███████ let you have private conversations with several people at once. Speak freely, and for free.
"Imagine a world without hangovers" -John Lannon
DON’T MAKE THEM LOOK
Business is complex. We're not.
Be who you want to be!
5 projects, 35 images, and everything you need to build a pretty online portfolio, except the work itself.
Add your phone number to your ███████ account to verify your identity and prove you aren't a spambot.
Rosemarriage
Go deep into the Mission on a bike and see how SF’s oldest hood is quickly becoming its hippest.
We have a friend named Charlie who is always looking for the perfect backdrop for his dating profile pic.
Free samples. Good ones, too.
Where there's a will, there's some pay.
Buffets are dead. You’ll have to decide.
Slob Ross
We supply the API. You handle the TLC.
Keep away from children and seashell artists.
Ewe are what ewe eat.
We love our work and work our love.
B1. Celebrate makeup effects that affect.
Mothering Nature Kit
Guy driving a Zamboni, guy exploring caves, guy kissing a guy.
The Beatles or the Rolling Stones?
Sure, it's iconic, but everybody's seen it so many times that nobody really looks at it anymore. It's just a five-lane traffic-clogged obstacle between you and your day.
Our books employ elements that are impossible on paper.
Subject Line: Cook up a rare Father's Day photo gift (30\% OFF).
Analog synth leads that lean and buttery bass that bounces.
That it's not so much for recreation as it is for re-creation.
Make the walls move.
We distilled Mother Nature's bounty to its fiercest flavors for you, but also kinda for this art critic in our yoga class. We're trying to convince her we're the Picasso of cold-pressed Kale.
Try not to leave your mate for your plate.
Guy at a dinner party with drag queens
Three studio experts in space from every reverberating era, from NASA to Tesla.
Wake up to Bedroom Beats & Lo-fi Hip Hop Vol. 2
Temporarily removes thirst-related curses.
Studies on the singular sounds that shape our singles.
What we make will unmake us.
How nice is [Artist Name] on ██████? Very.
If you do quote someone, close off the quote with quotation marks like anywhere else and put an em dash before their name. When crediting them, don’t do it with an @mention. If they’re quotable, they aren’t @-able.
The lights are low but your eyes don’t need to adjust. We’re warm when it’s cold out and cool when it’s hot. It just feels good.
My insomnia is getting worse. I’m up every night, like some exhausted vampire. I just eat cereal at 2 AM instead of blood.
When you're sharpening your pencils on Friday, you know it's going to be a busy weekend.
There’s arguably nothing more San Francisco than clam chowder in a bread bowl.
Voice-modeled effects. An appetite for everything.
A bird called the white-throated needletail is able to drink water in flight. We call that unflappable thirst.
V Collection 7 by ███████. 24 iconic instruments, lovingly recreated. (Storied circuit crust and all).
Paradise Found explores forbidden islands of sound
Change your look. Keep up with
Every sip of ████ has healthful antioxidants, relaxing aromatics, and tastes like a ripe blueberry's childhood memories. This is on purpose. (This is our purpose.)
We created ███ with a little dream and a lot of technology.
Protect your neck (but also other parts).
We’re not doctors or therapists, so we can’t provide medical advice, but we’re excellent listeners and we can provide perspective.
███████ is full of unique perspectives. Include yours. Follow Mom’s advice and be yourself.
Yours. Truly.
This is what 38 characters looks like!
Somehow, somewhere, something went wrong.
The seasons are changing, and so are we.
Don’t worry about eating too much, because you’ll be whisked away by the shuttle bus, all the way back to Pan Toll Station.
Donut Vacation
Change your mind. (there must've been a reason we can't consider this)
Hold on. Flipping the record.
"This is the end of the line."
Onboarding new hires can take all day. (You know.)
Audio Anatomy
Caviar for the cost of scrambled eggs.
We move giants.